Blogger Light

I really, really want to write a deep and insightful post but lately I just haven't had the wherewithal to sit down and do it. So tonight I'm going to do "blogger light"; just writing down some random thoughts of things on my mind or heart lately.













So I already started listening to Christmas music! There's just something very soothing and comforting for me when the season starts to turn towards fall and I start playing the Christmas music. I know many would say it's way too early, but for me this is the only time of year I'll listen to it and from Thanksgiving to Christmas just isn't long enough. Now if only we could get our gas fireplace fixed we could snuggle up to the "fire" and indulge in some Christmas music time. I love it! (picture credit here)










I've been continuing to participate in a bible study from a website called Setting the Captives Free. It has a 60-day bible study called "The Lord's Table" and is focused on overcoming struggles with food. They assign a mentor who prays for you and responds to the questions you answer from the study. I haven't been doing the study every day, which would really be the way to do it. It is by far the best thing I've done so far related to weight loss. It is giving me a whole new understanding of what is underneath and at the heart of my overeating and ungodly eating habits. In the past, the diets and nutrition/fitness plans I've done have helped with the weight problem but not with lasting change. They have never addressed the heart; coming to terms with the sin-aspect and biblical perspective of it. It is teaching me to turn not to food to be satisfied (as it doesn't last) but instead turn to the Lord to "feast" on him, especially his word. I am just starting to see myself doing this and having small victories. With the victory though, has come greater temptations especially some falling off the wagon with Halloween candy. It can be one step forward yet two steps back until true transformation takes place.















Lately, I've really been encouraged to prepare my heart for this holiday season. Being mindful of the why of Thanksgiving, how much I have to be thankful for. I also want to have a focus on the true meaning of Christmas; how to make that real in my life and with those around me. I love how a friend put this into words in her blog, see Frost. It is really hard for me to grasp that just a year ago at this time I was getting out of the hospital having been hospitalized for severe depression and anxiety. This was the second time I was hospitalized as the first time was right after my son was born and I had a postpartum breakdown. It is just so amazing to me how after that second time in the hospital I literally felt myself return to normal. The anxiety and meaninglessness disappeared, and a whole new world of joy was opened to me in taking care of my son. Through it all, my husband was by my side co-laboring, loving, supporting me through the darkest of times. I want to take time this season just to meditate and ponder all that the Lord has done. (picture credit here)
















Lastly, time with my little one is so precious. He is starting to lose his "baby-ness" and becoming a little boy. I have such mixed feelings about it too. I even found myself cradling him the other day like a baby and holding and rocking him. He was telling me, "I'm not a baby. I'm big." I told him he'll always be my little baby. We are into doing all kinds of things together like singing, dancing, blowing and chasing bubbles, having fun with learning activities, time with play groups and some sweet moments like just holding him in my arms after he wakes up from a nap and wants to cuddle. I'm so thankful the Lord blessed us in this way. (picture credit here)

I also wanted to share some fun with a Sesame Street video J just loves on You Tube called Operatic Orange. I remember this from when I was a kid! He can just watch it over and over and over again.





Thanks for visiting!

The Lord is doing a work in my heart

Fun pictures of J the other day when he wanted his shades on as we were going to play outside.



























This should be an interesting week, I'll be without a car for 4 or 5 days. We brought it in to the shop since at 120,000 miles there were several things we knew were due. Plus we were having problems with the driver's side window and the side mirror broke. Since we can probably get another 100,000 miles from it, we're investing the time and money. Yet it'll be strange not being able to jump in a car and go. I'll have to arrange rides for groceries and mom's group and things.

We spent some time in Baraboo at the end of last week. L's good friend Mike came into town from Atlanta and we went out to lunch and then spent some time at Devil's Lake. It was exciting to learn that Mike was recently baptized and is really growing in his faith. We enjoyed catching up since we hadn't seen him in over a year. Mike's mom gave J a huge tin of crayons and I found some fun coloring books from the dollar store so he's been really into coloring lately. Now it's one of the first things he does in the morning and often the last thing he's doing before bed. We spent a good part of the morning today coloring as he loves it when we color together.

L has been setting the stage for us to do a full-house clean out going room to room getting rid of things someone else could use more than we do. There are plenty of things like that yet the task has seemed a bit daunting so I've put it off. Something happened today though where all of a sudden I was really motivated so I started with the garage. I spent a couple hours cleaning it out, reorganizing things and making more room in there to move around. It was so fulfilling to see it newly clean and all arranged. I think this will be a good project and it's helping me to spend less time on the computer and do something productive.

I'm seeing more victory in my battle of wasting time (on the computer mainly) and seeing how interesting it is getting in the extra free play time with J. Like today, he wanted to take out his "fall box" which is a bin filled with all kinds of fall goodies like colored marbles and stones, wooden beads, plastic acorns, pumpkins and cranberries, fabric leaves in fall colors. He pulled out a bead and since we have an activity where we lace beads together he wanted to get some string and we put on bead on the string. I was swinging the bead back and forth and he started pretending it was a park swing.

He held his marbles on the string saying "we're all friends and we're swinging". It's so fun to see what his imagination is coming up with. So I'm trying to take more time in what I'm calling "free play" where I'll get something out and just let him see how he wants to play with it and then I join in.























I feel like I've had a real breakthrough in my ongoing struggle with healthy eating and losing weight. It came on the heels of more failure and wondering what would really help me to make strides in this area. I happened to remember a website I found maybe 6 months ago called Setting Captives Free. They have a free online course called The Lord's Table which I've started and really feel is an answer to prayer. It consists of two phases of bible study and you are assigned a mentor who will walk with you through it. As you answer questions each day in the study, the mentor will respond with encouragement and prayer.


To back up a bit, I was finding that in my reading of Uncommon Vessels (developing godly eating habits) that it really is meant to be done in a small group where you can get more specific. The book itself just wasn't specific enough in creating a new discipline for my life. As I read the course prep materials of the Lord's Table and did the first day's study, I found so many of the ideas and the teaching to be mirroring the convictions the Lord has brought to my heart; mainly about eating for pleasure versus eating in a way that's honoring to God. What's at the heart of it is that the motivation for the Christian must be to honor the Lord in everything, including how we feed our bodies. It is so different from anything I've ever done in the process of overcoming my weight struggles. Nothing I've seen in our culture espouses eating in a way that honors God. Nothing in all the weight loss programs I've come across has that focus. It was even a bit strange to me at first that God was laying this on my heart over a long period of time yet now I'm really convicted of it. That I am finally addressing the heart, which is where my struggle lies. It'll be wonderful to share more as I engage with this study and benefit from the mentoring I'll receive.

Finally, our little caterpillar-turned chrysalis is in the last stage of becoming a butterfly! I checked him today and noticed the cocoon was getting darker and then by the end of the day I could start to see the outline of his wings! So very cool. I just hope he doesn't emerge while we're sleeping tonight! I may have to set my alarm to check on him. In reflecting on how the Lord has been doing so much in my heart lately, I was thinking about how our internal transformations are just as miraculous as the caterpillar transforming into the butterfly. Yet I don't often see them that way. It really is miraculous when the Lord changes our heart in a way we truly could not do ourselves.






























Picture credits:
onefaceinamillion.com

settingcaptivesfree.com