The Last Shall Be First....

I'm not really sure where to start today with this new blogging format (not blogging in a "daily journal" format but more of a summary of highlights and not every day). What's most on my mind is being really out of sync because J's "schedule" the last couple days has been really off. I can see how having a basic schedule is so helpful for both of us, and how hard it can be when it's off. So over the weekend J got up earlier than normal. It was 6:30am Friday and 4:30am Saturday when usually he's getting up between 7:30/8:30am. He did go back to sleep a bit on Saturday but his afternoon naps have been late and he's been really ornery and difficult from dinner time on. He was crying at the drop of a hat and even fighting going to sleep which is rare. I went through four cycles of putting him to bed, crying nonstop, soothing and putting back to bed, sleeping finally after 10pm. We've been so blessed that he doesn't usually fight sleep, so I can't complain. Somehow I just think his little internal clock was off a bit. Meal time has been a bit harder too with J getting less sleep than normal. Today, things seem to be pretty much back to normal with no major breakdowns or sleep issues. Yay!

As far as the past several days, his time at Pal Zone stood out. That's a play group that we go to on Wednesdays with open play, circle/story time, songs and a craft. I'm glad I decided to change my schedule around so we can keep going. I realized how much I've seen him grow through this with open play time with a lot of different kids and structured activities to follow. We also get together with two other moms and their little girls usually every Monday. This also has been great for them learning how to share and play together. The moms get some good adult time. We also do some craft projects too.

I was excited to start up again in our mom's Titus group at church. I've been asked to be a greeter and open doors for moms as they come in. I enjoyed doing this and was blessed later by the mentor mom who was our keynote speaker. Barb shared a great story about moving out of our comfort zones and learning more about being stretched in trusting the Lord for how things will turn out.

My husband's good friend lost his mom this week. She was a wonderful southern gal and passionate Christian who lived to the age of 92. We made the decision to take J to her funeral, which was the first one he's been to. He kept asking what we were doing and where we were and it was a bit hard for him to understand. He met Wilda before and so I explained we were there to celebrate Wilda's life who had left here to go to heaven to be with Jesus. The only time we've talked about death was after our cat Rio died, so I was able to remind him of that and I think he started to get it when he said, "now there's 2 of them in heaven". He was very curious about the cemetery and was looking at the grave stones like ones with photos and picture engravings. He wasn't disruptive at all which was such a blessing. Although, we did sit far away from the main area during the service at the funeral home since J is still learning to use an "inside" voice.


We have had a few days of wonderful weather this week, and Friday night was just beautiful. We didn't even need jackets and we spent most of the evening downtown. The three of us had dinner then walked along State Street and to our student union. Today (Monday) started out a little cold and drizzly but then ended up being beautiful with the sun coming out and reaching over 70 degrees. Just perfect.

Devotional Time
My time with the Lord, although it hasn't been every day, has been good. I'm really seeing a theme coming up over and over again and I sense the Lord speaking loudly! I'm trying to have the ears to listen. Matthew 19:30 But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

First, what's interesting to me is that I don't remember my mom quoting a lot from the bible yet this verse is one I remember her saying so often. Yet even then I never understood it. Part of how I think God is instructing me is like my heart is being tested to see what's there when literally I am "last" in something, or inconvenienced/not "first" or getting my way. I relate getting my way in things to being "first". There were three times in one day that it hit me I was "last" in something that I wanted to be "first" in and how uptight and even angry I got about it. Yet I caught myself when I found this verse coming in to my head and I'm asking the Lord to keep teaching me. I just love when I sense the Lord's hand like this, yet it is a bit overwhelming right now to see how often this comes up for me. This is another verse that has come to mind that I am studying as I seek to gain wisdom. Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Lastly, somehow our camera has gone missing. I last used it Thursday night and I found out on Sunday that I cannot find it anywhere! It is such an integral part of how I'm documenting our life and a huge part of the blog. I really hope it shows up. This is the actually the second time I'll be without a camera so I'll have to figure something out soon. In the meantime, at least at home I'll be able to use my husband's camera but it's an expensive one so I won't be toting it anywhere.

Photo credit: Journeying Down Life's Never-ending Road

Saturday at the Fair

After having breakfast and J going through a huge stack of books to "read" we headed out to the Dane County Fair. Today they were having a farm tractor display for the kids and a fire truck and rescue equipment parade. We saw the tractors first and J got to sit on a bunch of them. Later, they were moving them out and we watched them all drive away.


We stopped at the petting zoo which was pretty small. J loved the tortoise. It had the coolest shell and was just sitting in the open eating grass. We headed to the barns and saw all the prize cows. Just as we were walking down the last row of cows we saw the rescue parade coming.


We quickly left the barn and headed to the nearest trucks. Once they were parked, we brought J over to see and who walks out but Birch the guy who leads our Pal Zone group! He's also a volunteer firefighter. He volunteers with his girlfriend and she took J under her wing and showed him around. He sat in the driver's seat, got to wear a helmet, went in the back and saw the jackets and boots. Then he put on a helmet again and just walked around. It was so funny because the helmet was really heavy so J was a little wobbly. We also went next door to a fire truck that was giving away kids fire helmets. J was very protective of his helmet. We went into the Expo area to see all the booths after that and he wouldn't put his helmet down. Even when he had it off, he had to hold it. They had an inflatable gym with slide that he really wanted to go in. Once he got in line he was afraid so a little girl held his hand and I walked along outside cheering him on. He said he wanted to go again but then when it was his turn in line he got scared and decided not to. There was an Indian woman we met at the park who had a booth so L bought a little fancy heart notebook so he can write my anniversary poems in it. Very sweet! J was starting to melt down so we headed out. In the car, his lids were getting really heavy and then he did fall asleep. Then it was nap time.

I decided to pick another Beth Moore book for my devotional study time. This one is called, To Live is Christ - joining Paul's journey of faith. I really like doing biblical character studies and Beth Moore's format is good with verses to read and then commentary. This one on Paul should be good. It says this book will trace Paul's life from early childhood to death focusing on his amazing ministry. Beth hopes it will provide a sharpened awareness of the personal calling God has placed on our lives. I look forward to that. Today I read Galatians 1:15-16. Beth shares that she accepts many of Paul's words as a personal challenge. In these verses we learn that Paul was set apart from birth and was called by God's grace. Beth creates a story that would have been like what any Jewish boy would experience after birth. She shares how his Jewish heritage impacted his lifestyle in a major way. He was raised to be a devout Jew. That meant study of the Torah, focus on marriage and performance of good deeds.


J had a long 3-hour nap today. He was really wiped. He was pretty hungry when he got up so I gave him some cheese to tide him over since we decided to go downtown for dinner. We tried to have a date night, but couldn't find a sitter. We went to where we thought a Chinese buffet was, but it wasn't there anymore so we took a walk to the capital square. It was still humid and probably 85 out but it was a nice walk. We ended up eating at an Indian restaurant. When L's food came out, it was sizzling and it really freaked out J. It was tandoori chicken which they bake in a special oven and it comes out on a hot plate. He wanted me to hold him for a bit so I took him out of the high chair and then he was on the verge of crying when I put him back. The waiter noticed and I told him what happened and next thing I know he's bringing J a "mango lassie", a creamy mango drink which J sipped down. He wanted to try my beef curry and I told him it was spicy. He took a bite and then was trying to wipe his tongue, saying "it's spicy" so I gave him a drink. We saw Madison's own Art Paul Schlosser, a State Street musician I've known since I was in college and then got to know better when L and I attended the same church with him. He played a couple songs for J and we all danced. We left soon after and J was happy to get home.

Two firsts for J....Farmer's Market and Fireworks

Today we got an early start leaving at 8:15am heading over to our friend's house. We made plans to go to the Madison Farmer's Market together. Right away, J wanted to play outside and we found their new swing. It was connected to some really tall trees so as J was swinging he'd say, "I'm swinging in the trees momma". I was worried he'd slip off but he had a good grip on the swing. We went on the trampoline next and J loved it when I'd chase him from outside and grab him through the net.

We finally set off for downtown and the capital square. I was so glad I remembered his stroller. Our last time downtown at the concert on the square I forgot it and because of the crowds we had to carry him the whole time. We stopped to hear an acoustic country-bluesy band and Susan took a dance around with J. We then walked around the square looking at all the farmer's booths. I got some really fresh sugar snap peas and a small loaf of chocolate zucchini bread. J started saying "revolving door mommy?" which was from concerts on the square when he went through his first revolving door. So we took a walk through the capital and he got to go through the doors several times. Before leaving, we stayed to watch the band again and this time I gave J an egg shaker they had for the audience and he shook it and danced and got really into it.

After the market, we went back to Susan's for lunch. J had just shared a banana strawberry smoothie with me so I think that's why he only ate a little bit of cheese, bite of pickle and some chips (and of course some cupcake for dessert). I had a wonderful lemonade and mint blender drink Susan made. It was really refreshing. I love mint. Susan's husband John read J a Dr. Suess book. That was cute. Then Susan read him a book. It's great to see him getting comfortable with family and friends.

During my devotional time, I continued in Luke 22 where Jesus is praying in the garden of Gethsemane and says in verse 42: Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me. Beth says this request of Jesus to the father should make us catch our breath. At this point, Christ could've walked away from the cross. He was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. I had to stop and think about that - sorrow that brings you to the point of death? Wow. He was enduring more stress and grief than the body was meant to handle. Dear sweet Jesus, do not let us forget. You who submitted completely to the cross on our behalf. All you had to do was call upon legions of angels and you would have been rescued. After this, we read about Judas and his betrayal of Jesus. Betrayal is bad enough, but to betray him with a kiss? Verse 47 and 48: He approached Jesus to kiss him, 48but Jesus asked him, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?" Beth shares that few things rend the heart like betrayal. Unfortunately, I have known that experience of betrayal. The pain goes so deep! When you have trusted someone so deeply and they turn on you, it is crushing. It just tears you up.


We decided to go downtown to the UW Terrace to watch Madison's biggest fireworks show which you can see from there. I showed J fireworks on the computer and was talking it up so he was pretty excited. We ate dinner at Chipotle and J was in a happy mood dancing in the booth and being affectionate with me.

We got to the Terrace and set up our chairs by the lake. The weather was perfect. It had been a warmer day so the night stayed fairly warm but with a good breeze which kept the bugs away. J got busy playing with his little people and cars. Then I read him a book. I looked up and saw my friend Carolina with her boys so they joined us to watch the show. Her son Steffano just loves J. Pretty soon they were chasing each other around and Steffano was tickling J. Even after the fireworks started, J was more interested in playing with him than watching. He'd have me pick him up here and there but then I'd put him down and off he'd go on the chase. The bad part of the night was when we were packing up and J sat in his chair and it fell backward and he hit his head. He was crying fiercely and ended up with a mini goose egg. This is like the third time this has happened with that chair so I have to contact them about it. Once he calmed down, we all left together to walk back to the car. J let me ice it once we got home and then he insisted on cleaning up his bristle blocks (which he had dumped on the floor before we left). He sang the Barney clean up song and asked me for help.