Back to blogging

Back to blogging! I was out of town a couple days for my niece's first communion in Chicago and now it's time to catch up. On Saturday morning we had J's first swimming lesson. This was his second time in the water. I was glad the water turned out to be fairly warm. Daddy hung out for a while to start us off. In our group, we'll be focusing on the basics of being in the water like kicking, paddling and blowing bubbles. The focus won't be on actual swimming. J enjoyed the first half of the class as we went in a circle holding him in different positions and moving around. He liked the part when we played with a toy but he didn't want his face in the water. He got a little cranky/whiny half-way through but he endured the full half hour. Next week, daddy will be in the water with me so we can work with him better. We got on the road for Chicago in the afternoon. J was fairly high maintenance in the car. I had a variety of things to occupy him (books, toys, coloring, snacks) but he seemed to like throwing things on the floor and then whining and asking for them the best. I hated taking my seat belt off so much and I think I'll try a better system next time. I follow a website that has a great travel guide so I think I'll be putting a travel box together. Here's the site address (since I can't figure out how to add a link into the blog!) http://quirkymomma.com/2009/tips-for-road-trips-with-toddlerspre-schoolers/. We stayed at my dad's house with my step mom who we call Boppy and Mimi. They had some great things for J to play with as they've been collecting things at garage sale. J immediately focused on the fire truck that had all kinds of buttons to press and noises it made. We had a nice relaxing afternoon and we enjoyed a great dinner together. One of my sisters and her husband came over to see us around J's bedtime so I let him stay up. He was really keyed up and didn't want to go to sleep anyways. He was engrossed with a set of Boppy's coasters that I got from a mission trip to India. He loved opening the case that held the colorful coasters, dumping them on the floor and then putting them back in the case face up. He did this over and over for maybe half an hour. We all shared J's bedtime routine and my sister read his book to him while we listened. He did wake up crying once after 11pm so I got up and just rocked him in my arms until he calmed back down.

My dad's house is the house I grew up in so it brought a feeling of nostalgia being back "home". Saturday morning, I took a nice walk around the neighborhood and stopped in front of the little pond by the house just to soak it in. J took a nice nap so I enjoyed some time reading. I'm really glad I found the book "There is No Me Without You". I may have mentioned it, a book about a woman in Ethiopia whose daughter died and while grieving she opened her home to a couple AIDS orphans. She finds a new life for herself and becomes a foster mom to hundreds of children affected by AIDS, eventually adopting them out to other countries. At the first communion service, my three sisters, their husbands, Boppy and Mimi and a few others were there for my niece. J did extremely well. I was surprised he wasn't loud and he stayed pretty calm. I'm sure it helped that I let him have blankie and nuk. Afterward, we enjoyed a gathering at my sister's house where J got to play with all his cousins. I think the highlight was watching him have a mock battle with light sabers with his older cousin. My husband was a blessing as he did the driving down and back so I was able to care for J. It took about 15 minutes just to make the rounds saying goodbye to everyone, and then a couple sisters and kids came out to see us go. Something about this time with family really touched my heart. As we were driving away I had all this emotion come up just thinking about their love and support, the blessing my husband is to me, what a joy J is and being able to stay home with him, these types of things were in my mind and I just gave thanks and praise to God.

One of the highlights of the morning was getting J a new ball. We went grocery shopping and we've been eyeing them for a long time. He had so much fun throwing it to me and then I'd throw it back. I'd play games like hiding and then throwing the ball so it seemed to come from nowhere. He'd just laugh and laugh.

In my devotional time, I continued in Luke 4. I'm now in part 3 of the book, "The Way and Life". We see that here Jesus didn't flinch from what God wanted him to do. His example challenges us. He was teaching in the synagogue and the crowd went from being amazed to being furious with him. Jesus wouldn't be swayed by the crowd and would teach his way. This is an area of my life that I know is a struggle for me. Not being swayed by "the crowd" can be very difficult for me. Since I was little, I was very concerned about what others thought of me; how they responded to me. It is very difficult to separate myself from that way of thinking and instead focus on what would the Lord have to say. I have to keep surrendering this to God. Next Beth introduces the spiritual dimension as we read about Jesus casting a demon out from a man. Here the crowd sees that he speaks with authority and power. "What is this teaching" they say. Jesus is beginning to be set apart. Beth says no greater concept exists than the authority of Jesus Christ. For if he has no authority, his death/atonement would be sacrificial but powerless. As this study unfolds, she shares that we will see more of his authority.

We brought the camera in to get an estimate on fixing it. So hopefully I'll have that back soon. I really miss taking pictures of J. He had a pretty good day of eating today. Mommy did too. I lost my first pound today. I know that seems small but I've been waiting for weeks for it to happen. I pushed myself at the Y tonight and ran for 20 minutes straight, walked for 5 then ran for another 5. It was good. Now I better go to bed so I don't try snacking on something!

Perfect day for the zoo

Yesterday I didn't get my devotional time off the ground. I felt like I slept okay, but for whatever reason, maybe I was really comfortable on the couch or something but I could not stay awake. I kept reading the verse over and over but couldn't focus on the study. I was able to pray a little bit.

I spent a lot of the day planning out my son's birthday celebration. We are going to have a dedication at our church in the morning and then a birthday picnic afterward. I decided on an Elmo theme since that was the first character he chose as a favorite. We went to the store and picked up invitations and all the place setting items too. We'll see if I end up with enough. Then I sent out a "save the date" invitation by email. I'm really looking forward to celebrating with our family and friends.

Since Julian kept asking for "King Farms" which is McKee Farms, one of the parks we go to, we spent some time hanging out there on the play structures. I heard someone call my name and was pleasantly surprised to see a friend I know from my mom's group. It was great timing. There were several friendly moms today making conversation about our kids. Then we had to leave since it was time for his nap.

We had a little time after dinner to play before my husband and I headed out to our life group. Dad was playing the guitar and Julian was dancing with our babysitter. During our small group time, one of our questions related to the sermon was about what ways you have found to grow in your pursuit of God. There was a lot of good sharing and I shared for me it's in having some basic time alone with the Lord every day. We were all sharing how challenging it is to have time to balance everything and you have to really fight (yourself and your circumstances) to get that time every day. But the rewards are so great. Instead of doing something just to put a check mark on your to do list, it creates in you a deeper relationship with God so you crave those times together. I liken it to our need for daily spiritual food which I think is just as great as our need for real food. We ended up getting home so late there was no time to do a blog post.

This morning, Julian seemed a bit punchy. Like he had a bit of edginess to him. I was hoping that would go away since our plan would be to go to the Pal Zone play group that meets on Wednesdays. I prayed about it and was so relieved that we ended up having a really nice time. Julian responded well when I reminded him we were going to share today and play nice, which I had to do a few times. But it didn't get any worse like it has in the past with him trying to hit or push someone. Then at story time, he participated more like saying his name when he was asked to stick his name on the board at the front. He giggled a lot through the goofy songs too.

In my Place of Quiet Rest book, the topic today was about surrendering control. Although I know this is at the core of following Jesus, to have him as Lord, I still find it hard. I agree with Nancy because I know I do this: when we have a difficult or annoying circumstance, we'll often tend to view the difficult person or circumstance as the problem, yet if we instead see this as something God has allowed and we can trust him, it really opens up an opportunity to grow. It also gives us a whole new way of relating to that circumstance! She shares how taking time to be with God every day keeps our heart in check. By opening our hearts to him he will show us when we're stuck and help us move beyond it.

After our play group, we came home and packed a lunch for the next part of the day which was meeting our friends for a picnic and fun at the zoo. This was our first time going to the zoo this season and we had fun. He liked hearing the lion roar and was saying "again, again" to the lion. Then the otter was hiding behind a stump so he's saying "come here Otter, come here". I couldn't believe how warm it got today, close to 80 with no clouds. Just gorgeous. I was really warm in pants. I could tell Julian not having a morning nap was catching up with him though, as he started to get restless and crabby. I gave him his nuk and blankie in the car and he was asleep within minutes.

I totally forgot that we're focusing on Mary the mother of Jesus this week for my bible study. I didn't even look at the study until today. I had a little chuckle to myself when I saw what one main topic would be, Mary showing us the meaning of surrender. I love it when God puts an "exclamation point" on something he wants me to see in my life. It's about surrender! If only it was as easy to put into practice as it is to share these insights that I have. Some of the main aspects we learn of Mary were how she knew the scriptures well, she had a worshiping heart and a humble, teachable heart. Like when the angel told her she would give birth to the Messiah she responded "I am the Lord's servant.....May it be as you have said." One interesting highlight was that if you go back through the Old Testament, there is a common thread tying the books together and that is the ever-unfolding promise of a savior.

Julian took a long nap but woke up still out of sorts and cranky. Our day wasn't over yet as we had another adventure of going out to dinner with our friend Brad. He wanted to play outside but I had to get stuff ready to go as I pack a little din-din for him. He had a couple melt downs in the beginning but then he enjoyed Brad making faces at him and teasing him and he settled into eating then coloring. Our friend just lost his mom so our hearts were heavy as he explained her sudden passing from a heart attack. We got home past his bedtime, but it was so nice outside that the three of us just hung outside watching the stars for a while. Then going to bed Julian was just wired, so we played a few games of chase the blankie and tickle mania before he settled for sleep. I was then able to spend some time catching up with my younger sister on the phone. Now it's off to bed!

Fitting in some mom-to-mom time

It's been a while since we watched Elmo so this morning Julian watched a short video. Then we went downstairs to the "art studio" (which is our cluttered basement where I have a makeshift art area) and did some finger painting and coloring. I got out some stickers and he started learning how to stick those on a piece of paper.

Today I was going through 1 Samuel 26 and 27 where Saul is not giving up and continues to go after David. I am struck by how far from the Lord Saul lets himself stray. This is a man whom God anointed as king over all the Israelites, who was given the Holy Spirit and yet he has thrown away his opportunity to live a life of faith. Again David has an opportunity to kill Saul, but holds back his men saying the Lord forbids him to harm the king. Saul finds out he was spared and confesses his wrongdoing saying he will not do it again. I took some time today to go back in my journal and look over the areas that the Lord has been working on in my life. It was good to do this and ask myself honestly if I've seen growth. To that I would say that there hasn't been a lot of change so far, but some. I also saw a common theme to these areas and that is they seem to be connected to the idea of surrender. That to me means recognizing something that is not of God and surrendering it to him in confession, prayer. Places in my life where I need to surrender? Fill in the blank (pride, anger, overeating issues, being overly harsh with Julian). It was good to revisit this and pray again for renewal. I am keeping Romans 12:1 in mind here since it is very fitting. 1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

We had a play date with my friend Eileen and her son Jackson today which included having lunch together at the mall. It was so nice to have some mom-to-mom adult conversation time. After lunch we went to the play area and let the kids have some fun. Then we took a stroll around the mall so we had more time to talk. When we got home I took Julian out for a nice walk in his little car. Being in the sun and fresh air was nice but that wind was a little too cold.

Wow I can't believe I'm on here doing the last leg of my blog before 8:30pm! I have talked with Lanty about finding some "take care of Julian time" that works best and we decided he'd do the nightly routine on Fridays. So I have a little extra time to myself tonight! And I only heard a little bit of fuss up there from Julian so it must be going well. Uh-oh, Julian's crying out for mommy now so I better go upstairs. I just spent a few minutes reviewing the day with Julian and sang a blessing over him then tucked him in for the night. I left and he started wailing which he almost never does, but I did the five minute rule and he was quiet in two. The house is quiet, it's time to go relax.

Looking for the special in the ordinary

Today was fun. J and I were invited on a play date with a mom I met at our church's Titus group. Eileen and I decided to meet at the mall to have lunch together and then to let the boys loose in the play area. We had a nice long lunch and a good time of getting to know each other better. I loved how J did his own getting to know Jackson by turning to him a few times and clapping to see if he clapped back and when he did he'd laugh. So cute. After lunch we went to the play area but were stopped when we found out the play area was closed off for construction! We couldn't really think of any other place to go since Eileen's son Jackson isn't big enough for McDonald's play land and there aren't a lot of options so we just hung out a bit more on one of the mall benches. After chatting some more it was time to change someone's diaper and head home.

We stopped at the library to pick up some books and videos I put on hold. J just loves the library. He likes tinkering on the computers in the children's area, playing with legos, pulling out books for mommy to read to him and pulling neat looking videos off the shelf (that mommy has to put back). The only bad thing about the library is when it's time to go! He gets really upset and usually gets to tears because he just doesn't want to go. But that time inevitably comes and he survives! Today we got a few Elmo videos and a video on fire trucks. The best though is the video combining two of J's favorites - Elmo and fire trucks - in a video where Elmo gets to visit the firehouse.

The rest of the afternoon/evening was pretty slow and relaxing. I always enjoy watching L and J play and J would bring his books to daddy to read. That is precious when Julian sits on his lap and they read books together. He really enjoyed the firehouse Elmo video too.

Saturday always starts with chocolate chip pancakes. J gets excited and starts chanting "pancakes? pancakes?" and I can't make them quick enough. He gets chocolate all over his hands and face. Then he lifts up his hands and says "uh-oh" like telling mommy, uh-oh my hands are so dirty. He also loves it when I give him a taste of the batter while I'm in between pancakes. He's becoming quite good at begging as he will also say "chok-lit" over and over until I give him a chocolate chip or two. He's definitely got momma's sweet tooth.

After breakfast J again had Elmo on his mind. Now he's saying to me "Elmo watch?" letting me know he wants to watch some Elmo. So I put in the video and he'd watch a little and then run over to me on the couch, then watch a little more, then run over to me on the couch. This was new. It must've been all that chok-lit.

Later in the day we went to visit friends who live somewhat close. Since they have nice sidewalks good for walking we brought J's little push-car so we could take a walk there. Our friends ended up not being home but we got out our little car and then remembered we have other friends that live nearby who we hadn't seen in a couple years. They ended up being home and Lisa just melted when she saw us with J. I will never forget how Lisa reached out to me during my postpartum depression time. She went with me to my first therapist appointment which I was really nervous about and later gave me the most relaxing foot massage. I think it was the first time I could actually relax a bit since my break down after J's birth. That must have been within 6 months of J being born.

At their place, J was shy at first but it only took him about 5 minutes to warm up. I think the rice crackers Lisa was giving him helped. That's another one of his favorite things - crackers. We then decided to introduce J to their giant but very friendly German Shepherd and he did so well. The dog was so excited she lunged/kissed me a couple times and J got this really scared/I'm not sure about this look on his face. We think he didn't like how the dog lunged at me and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. It was a nice time of catching up.

That night was our date night. We were able to get L's old roommate to come and basically house sit since J would be in bed. We did our usual, going out to Hubbard Diner for dessert and conversation. We agree we need more date night ideas so we're not always doing the same thing. We are missing some of our in-depth conversations. We don't take the time to really catch up like that on a daily basis. I'm missing that depth of connectedness that would come when we'd keep up with each other like that. We haven't done this for a while but we're going to go through another book together. This one is called Boundaries in Marriage which we got as a wedding present 7-1/2 years ago and never read. I think it will be good. Some of the chapters deal with conflict and conflict resolution which is an area that I find challenging. I really want to have a Christ-like response with handling conflict but that's an area I often lose it. The book also gets into healthy ways to relate to one another and some that are unhealthy. Another area I'm surrendering to the Lord is my sensitivity, that I'm often quick to be defensive or get hurt easily even when it's just someone joking with me. I do this a lot with L. We talked about an area L could grow and that is in the area of giving affirmation. So we have a focus and it will be good to go through this book together and work on maintaining a deeper connection.

Sunday was a pretty ordinary day for me. Since L had plans to watch the super bowl at a friend's house we went to the early service at Blackhawk. We started a new series called Redefined. For the next three months we'll be looking at how Jesus redefined everything when he came. How things were very much turned inside out and upside down. Unfortunately I found it very hard to focus, I was so tired. I remember how the sermon started and ended but I lost a lot in between.

While L was gone watching the super bowl, J and I got to have fun together. I had the game on and he just loved watching football. He gets mixed up and calls it "baskey-ball" and he was running around and around the living room in circles and stopping to peak at the game, then running around again. We also went grocery shopping and when we got home he was my little helper again taking things out and bringing them to me. He gets so excited when he can help.

Finally, to today. In my time alone with the Lord I felt another theme being reinforced. I got a book called A Heart Like His which looks at the life and faith of David. Today's focus was on strength and tenderness. This reminded me of something I read in a book Chuck Swindoll wrote for becoming a Godly parent. What stood out to me there was his talk about discipline being gentle yet firm. I took some time to just think about this and really search my heart. I prayed and was asking the Lord that I would grow in those attributes. I find it's too easy to discipline while angry and all gentleness is forgotten, but I really see the importance of that element, gentleness (tenderness) a quality of Christ and a fruit of the spirit. Being firm is important but to go hand in hand with gentleness is powerful and honoring to the Lord. I need to learn how to do this and my prayer is the Lord would teach me situation to situation.

Julian did a lot of "Elmo watch" today and he also loves a Richard Scary library book on words. He takes it up to his nap with him and loves pointing to the pictures and saying what it is like owl, cheese, cow, pancakes, house. It's so fun to see him continuing to learn.