An Audience of One

Picture Credit: topwalls.net

I can't remember exactly the first chain letter I received, but I do remember that I diligently made my multiple copies of it and sent it out to the required number of people. It had some rather harsh wording in it to warn you what would happen if you broke the chain. Does anyone else remember those old chain letters? The ones that promised for writing them out you would receive some sort of blessing or good luck or some other hokey thing? This was in the age well before computers and email, in the 70's and 80's, but now chain letters have morphed to emails that we should forward and also various Facebook posts where you'll be tagged and asked to continue . I've been pretty good about avoiding most of them, but then one came around about Thankfulness. I was tagged by someone today and there was something about this one that I didn't let it pass by. I think the Lord wanted to do something in my heart, for it ended up being quite a blessing to write it.  

Here is what I shared on Facebook:

Thank you Patty March for inviting me to share what I'm thankful for. Since I'm not much for chain letters and such, I'm changing it around to just posting one Thankful post and sharing what comes to my mind. Anyone who wishes to share something they are thankful for is welcome to comment below!

**I am so thankful for finding Jesus. After stumbling around in the darkness for years especially after my mom died, He reached out and never let go even through the darkness of an 18-month severe postpartum depression. This song speaks it so well for me.  This Journey is My Own (Sara Groves)

**Thankful for the blessing of family. For my mother, and what comes to mind is how she taught me to live with an open heart and willingness to love; my father, who taught me how to work with passion, discipline, and with the determination to never give up; for my sisters who taught me what it was to share life together, to laugh and cry together, to forgive and care for one another.

**And finally, so thankful for my two-becoming-one marriage which has been the best challenge the Lord has presented me yet; learning how to put to death the "kingdom of self" and live for the kingdom of God through a loving, for-giving, and grace-filled relationship with Christ at the center, and which also brought forth the greatest blessing of lives, our sweet son Julian. And it is his little sweet soul which is teaching me the joy of being a mother; the day-by-day moments of ordinary-ness turned extraordinary in seeing life through his eyes, and cultivating the soil of his heart that he blossom into the young man God has created him to be.

I hope you have been blessed in reading this, and although you certainly don't have to worry about leaving a comment, you might just find yourself blessed if you do ;)

Thank you for visiting!

My Favorite Season

One of the trees from our recent Arboretum visit

 I love Autumn. 

There are so many simple things I love about fall, and I find that treasuring these little blessings brings peace and joy to my heart. I decided to make a list of some of these things I love about it.

• The crisp, fall air and the beauty of the leaves as they change color.
• All things pumpkin; pumpkin bread, pumpkin spice coffee, pumpkin decorating, visiting a pumpkin patch while my son picks out his pumpkin.
• Finally needing a blanket at night and cuddling underneath its warmth as the air is cool around me.
• The beautiful colors of fall; the deep oranges, reds, browns. So rich and lovely.
• Baking all different kinds of treats; cookies, breads, etc. Using the oven freely.
• Catching glimpses of various migratory birds we rarely get to see.
• The melodious honking sounds as the flocks of Canadian geese fly above on their migratory journey.
• Curling up on the couch with a blanket and reading a good book.

Over the weekend, we celebrated my husband's 50th birthday. I have to say L is one of the most nonchalant people I know. When I asked him how it felt to turn 50 (he is 8 years older than me), he said "It's just another day." I tried to make it special for him. We had a nice visit to Devil's Lake in Baraboo on Thursday and then took a lovely walk in our local Arboretum on Saturday. 

Here are some pictures from our time in the Arboretum:

Homeschooling

Nature ABC's

We are enjoying our homeschool time. What a blessing this is. I am so glad I found Hearts of Dakota with the lessons all put together for me. I just look in my manual and know which page to go to in each different subject (handwriting, fine motor skills, math, history, Devotional/Bible study, science, phonics and reading). My son and I are having a lot of fun with it. 

This quote I found from Mom Heart Online really spoke to my heart as one of the reasons I cherish this opportunity to homeschool.

"To prepare our children to fully live out God’s plan for their lives, as parents we must: intentionally pour into them God’s precepts and truths, fill their hearts with grace and love, expose them to beauty and mercy, and whisper into their lives principles that will guide them when the world gets loud and distracting." 

I feel this is one of the main things we are doing in spending my days with my son while homeschooling. Time is such a precious commodity and it moves so quickly. I know the years will move fast and then my son will be leaving the home to be on his own. Investing in him in this way is what I feel called to do and a response to what God teaches in Deuteronomy about raising children. (Deuteronomy 6:7 and 11:19). Choosing what my son learns is a huge part of why we homeschool, yet redeeming this time (that would otherwise be lost to public schooling) is deepest in my heart. For such a time as this and our budget allows, I cherish spending each precious day with my son and like in Ephesians 5:16 to make the most of every opportunity.

Investing in our Marriage

This summer my husband (L) and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. What a blessing! It is also challenging and yet such a huge opportunity to grow when we allow the Lord to convict us and surrender (our junk) to Him. One of the things we find so important is spending quality time together. We like to take time each day to reflect together over what's going on in our lives, and how the Lord is at work in us and through us. I like the Greek word "koinonia". This word occurs 20 times in the bible, usually translated as "fellowship" but meaning a type of communion or spiritual intimacy with another believer.

When L's summer schedule doesn't allow very easily for this, we see how important it is for the health of our marriage. When we seem to be drifting apart or not getting along, we know we are in need of this special time. Right now, we are going through a book by John Piper called This Momentary Marriage. John Piper has become somewhat of a mentor in my husband's life; we even traveled over 250 miles this summer to meet him and hear him preach. We are looking forward to how the Lord will be working to strengthen our marriage and continue to help it be a signpost to others. 

These are just a few of the things that have been going on in my life lately. So happy to be able to share it here. 

Thanks for visiting!

Praying for Your Husband

I wasn't planning on writing a post tonight ... in fact, I thought I'd be in bed by now. You see, my husband (L) and I had a fight tonight and to steer clear, my plan was to go right to bed while he stewed in his anger downstairs. He ended up going to bed first, so I decided to stay away until things settle a bit. I thought maybe I'd watch a movie or read, but then I came across this bookmark about how to pray for your husband and was stopped in my tracks.

So ... my husband is very protective of a new guitar he recently got, and it's understandable based on the demise of his last one. His old guitar was crushed under the wheels of our car this past summer. He "knew" that guitar almost two decades longer than he knew me! It was something he bought while he was in college (his first major purchase) and he cherished it. Long story short, while we were on a trip, I was packing the car and I forgot about the guitar. I left it leaning against the trunk and when we backed up and heard a sickening crunch, I was shocked to realize what had happened. The guitar was completely ruined. It took L a good part of the day before he could talk about it and I know it's not a pleasaant memory for him. Well, tonight he came storming into my son's room while I was putting him to bed and was outright furious saying I had allowed my son to play with the guitar and it was all messed up. The truth was that I did see my son go over and strum on it so I immediately corrected him. He knows he's not allowed to play with it. I never did see him twisting any of the tuning knobs, but that's what L said he must have done.

It's not often that my husband gets over the top mad. When he does, I know the best remedy is to give him space and time, for in time the Lord always brings conviction and he's able to forgive and let things go. I just wasn't prepared that this would set him off in the way that it did. I found that I personally was beside myself with anger and hurt, feeling indignant and I couldn't shake the upset so I went to be by myself. Then when I found this bookmark, my heart completely softened. I am so thankful that the Lord touched my heart and has used the situation to bring something positive. The last thing I expected I'd be doing tonight was sitting here praying for him. It usually is so easy to just stew in my anger and I often don't recover so quickly. Yet tonight the Lord really impressed upon me the need to be a peacemaker and to uphold my husband in this way. I love these 10 things to pray for your husband and will seek to pray this regularly for him. It's amazing how the Lord is at work in all the things in our lives. For those reading this who are married, I pray this would encourage you to uphold your husband in prayer in this way.

Now I think it's time for me to go to bed!

Looking Forward to the New Year

We ended up having a really nice Christmas holiday with extended family down in the Chicago suburbs. I have to say it was strange with no snow on the ground! We all gathered at my sister's house (my dad and step mom, my 3 sisters and their husbands, nieces and nephews, and some family friends who stopped by). It was fun seeing everyone's reactions to their new gifts, including the homemade ones from us. This year I made gift boxes for my sisters families that included a family calendar with photos from the year, two mason jar desserts of muffins and cookies and a homemade wreath ornament. Once my computer returns and I can upload pictures again, I will share a specific post with our homemade gifts. As I made the gifts, I took time to pray for each person I was giving them to. I think that was my favorite part about making them. At one point during our celebration, I stepped outside where my brother-in-law had a fire going in the fire pit on the patio. I soaked in some precious moments alone as I stood outside in front of the fire with the crisp air and the Christmas lights of the neighborhood all around me. As I looked up at the stars and thought about the true meaning of Christmas, my heart was filled with thanks for the amazing gift of God coming down to earth in human form, as a little baby.

We hope to do something special as a family to ring in the New Year. We have yet to finalize our plans. Every year we also set aside some time as a couple to reflect on the year that has passed and create a vision for the year to come. We go through our journals and talk about where we saw the Lord at work. We talk about the ways we have grown but also confess what areas we still need to surrender. It takes a lot of compassion and understanding to allow us to honestly share our feelings and this tradition has been an important part in growing our marriage relationship.  We are both excited for what the Lord will do in the coming year.

In looking forward to the new year, I also want to take some time to look back on the blog. I thought I'd share some of my favorite posts from the year:

Preparing for "Holy Leisure"

Random Things of Beauty (Sept.)

Our First Week of Preschool (Robots Unit)

Fixing Our Eyes on What is Unseen

Welcome to My Home

I hope you are enjoying this holiday season and I thank you for visiting!

Bloggy Love and Marriage Musings

I have been following a blog for a while that has really been an encouragement to me. I thought, what better way to honor her and her blog than to make a post about it!

She goes by the name "Lovin' Life" and her blog is called Konnichiwa. She started her blog last September. She has a variety of things she posts about including recipes, scripture, her family and her faith. Her blog title "Konnichiwa" means hello in Japanese. I love the verse she has underneath her title, Titus 2:4-5 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands and I see her living this out as I've been reading the posts on her blog. A few of the posts that have really impacted me the most:
About Motherhood
About Honoring Husbands (this one I actually printed out and leave on my kitchen table!)
About Complaining (I'm guilty too!)
About The Persecuted Church

I hope you are blessed by this blog too.

When I read her post "Honoring Husbands" in January, it was very timely as the Lord had been convicting me a lot about who I was being in my marriage. I was and continue to struggle with focusing on the petty stuff and making mountains out of things that just don't matter. Lately, the Lord has been having me slow down, step back and "listen" to myself in how I am being toward my husband (L). I had a moment where I was reviewing in my mind a conversation L and I had and I said to myself, "Did I actually say that? Did I say "How dare you ...blah blah blah" to my husband?" And I had! I was shocking myself with what I was seeing come out of me. I noticed I have much more patience and compassion in how I relate to my almost 3-year-old son than I do with L. When I took time to stop and pray about it, it was convicting to see how often I am complaining, nagging or starting arguments when something isn't going my way. This has been a humbling thing to acknowledge, yet I feel it's honoring to the Lord and a good place to start. I find the Lord is empowering me to bite my tongue before the complaint/anger comes out. I ask, "Is this a battle I want to fight, or would it be more honoring to the Lord to let it go?" I'm finding strength to let it go. I'm also finding a new joy in my heart in truly serving my husband. Even little things like doing some extra organizing and cleaning because I know how much it blesses him; and less grumbling in the daily chores I do and not looking for acknowledgment, just doing it from a heart of love. I'm also finding things to do that I'll do simply because it's one less thing my husband has to do. These are signs of the Holy Spirit at work in me, because I know this isn't natural for me! The Lord is showing me what a treasure my husband is, a man who has a passion for following Him and who works so hard so that I can be at home raising our son. I'm discovering new things every day about just what a blessing being married to him is.

As I've opened my heart to the Lord by confessing about this and praying for a changed heart, it is amazing the things he's putting in front of me and the door's he's opening. It's like he's pouring out himself to me in what I'm finding to read and listen to. Here's what I mean:

• I found a broadcast this week at Focus on the Family titled "Who Am I As a Wife?" that is just incredible. The things talked about are so pertinent for retraining myself in being a godly wife. I'm only part-way through Part 1 and there is a Part 2 also. Lovin' Life posted this week about complaining (see link above) and this was after she listened to part 2 of this same broadcast.
  
• I found a giveaway on The New Living Translation bible blog for a devotional bible called In His Image. I ended up winning it!
  
• I found a book called What's It Like Being Married to Me and Other Dangerous Questions by Linda Dillow on the Internet Cafe and entered a giveaway by Erica at The Write Web and I actually won the book!
  
• I also found a book called Winning Him Without Words through the Internet Cafe and entered a giveaway at Rachel @ Beautiful Daughters and (no joking) I won that too! This book is actually written for women married to men who don't know the Lord, but they shared how it would edify any marriage.
  
• I found an audio book through our library called Were It Not for Grace; Stories from Women After God's Own Heart. In the intro it talks about these women as those who love the Lord with all their hearts. These women found intimacy with the Lord not without a cost. I am looking forward to listening to this book.

So I'm not sharing all this to toot my horn about the things I've won, but I want to share it as a praise for the Lord who is showering me with the means to pursue this desire, to honor my husband. I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back as my old habits die hard. Yet I am confident and in agreement with his word, Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. I know the Lord has his hand upon me as I seek to bring him glory in every area of my life, especially my marriage. I also know I will be surrendering this area of my life to him again and again as it is a constant struggle for me. Yet I find that so much of LIFE, (depth, passion, vitality) is found within the struggle. It means I'm growing; the ever-imperfect flower in God's garden.

Just a Little Taste....

I am trying so hard to get 3 different posts done for my blog(s) but they just aren't done yet. One is my weekly book reading post, a recipe post for my Tracey's Kitchen blog, and finally a personal post. I thought I'd share a few lines just to give you a taste of how my personal post is starting out, and hopefully I will have it finished soon!

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So it's been a while since I did a personal post ... this one has been in the making for a while. I find that I don't often share a lot about my marriage. I think partly that's because it hits so close to home. Well this is a little from the heart. ***more to come soon****

Marriage as ministry

On Saturday morning, we were going to go to the Farmer's Market which is held at the capitol square in Madison. It was the first one of the season. It was also the day of the Spring Badger football game so we decided parking would be too nuts and we'll take a raincheck. Instead, we planned for breakfast at Einstein's bagels and then a walk in the UW Arboretum. We hit the bagel shop and had my old standby the turkey sausage bagel with egg and neighborhood blend coffee. It was like a trip down memory lane. Back in our no-child days, we used to hang out several mornings a week at Einstein's with our coffee and bagel sandwiches and have our devotional time together. That's when he was working 2nd shift and I started around 10:30am while I was still working. What a different season of life! Anyhow, we didn't make it to the Arboretum since we really wanted to make sure J got a nap in before we headed out to our friend's place in the afternoon. He's been having too many meltdowns if he doesn't get that second nap.

After lunch, we headed to Black Earth where the town was having a weekend of garage sales. Our friend has 8 kids and her husband was taking 3 of them to the Badger game so we came to help with the garage sale. It was great catching up with her. We used to go to church together until we left that church around 2006. The kids had an even greater time playing in the yard and with all the riding toys. Daddy and J played some kiddie basketball. He just loves basketball. It was cute watching him try to throw the ball high. Later at home while J napped, I made a dessert for a BBQ our friends from our small group were having. It was a sunny day but the breeze made it feel cooler in the 50's. J had the most fun playing with all the balls they had (tennis, golf, basketball, soccer). He was in ball heaven. Our friends from the small group got to spend time playing with him too. That was nice. I had fun trying to teach the kids to whistle through an acorn top, which was something I learned as a kid. Their son was able to do it but the girls will have to keep trying. You have to have your thumbs in just the right V shape. After dinner, we all sat in front of a warm fire and talked and played Pictionary. It was a late one for J.

This morning was a nice and lazy morning since there was no peep from J until after 8am. While he napped, my intent was to have a devotional time but I couldn't keep my eyes open. These last few nights I was up late. Friday night I was making J's birthday invitations online until 1am and then last night it was 12:30pm. I really have to be more disciplined about going to bed before 11pm. Otherwise, I can't make it all day!

We packed a nice lunch again and had a nice afternoon at the UW Terrace. I had to feed J before we left though since he was too hungry. A couple ducks were hanging around so I let J throw them some bread. They were less than a foot away! I wish I had my camera. J and I took a nice long walk along the lake shore and it was so nice. A highlight was J wanting to go up and down the stairs several times with me holding his hand and him standing up (usually he'd crawl up stairs). He didn't want to go back to our table so it took a lot of coaxing.

We had church and then grabbed a bite for dinner with our friends and their kids. Their girls are so good with J. They pick him up, follow him around and are so gentle with him. He loves all the attention I'm sure. After that, we had groceries to do and it was time for J to go to bed. No bath night since it got too late. That'll have to be tomorrow. J had a lot of crying out of the blue today. He had a good morning nap but because of church he didn't get the afternoon one. He usually has a longer no-whine threshold, but not today.

After putting J to bed, I still had a lot of little things to do around the house. I had a kind of grumbly spirit too. And I grumbled to hubby (L) about a few different things that were annoying me. Then I had this thought come into my head, do you see how selfish you are? Most of what I was grumbling about were things that inconvenience me and aren't the way I like them. I had to ask myself, are those things really worth making a deal about? I said to myself, what happened to picking your battles? One of the things it made me think back to was when L and I talked about looking at our marriage as ministry. At times that's like oil and water! Yet it was such a good reminder to me that what I'm striving for is to respect and honor him and be a blessing to him and not the opposite. A good thought to sleep on.

Julian I can't get enough of your cuteness

So it was Elmo Lost His Blanket book this morning, as getting up and reading a book is becoming routine now. This is a flap book and surprisingly now he is really good about not tearing them. Another sign that he's getting older! Sometimes he asks my help to lift them but then I realize that where he is pointing there is no flap.

Today was a day that I continued to be impressed and even stunned by what Julian is saying and what he has learned. I remember a few of them. After breakfast he was pointing to my shirt designs and this is the shirt which has circles on it and every other circle has a sparkly stone. I didn't realize that my little routine I do was sinking in. So he pointed to the circle that didn't have a sparkly and he says "no sparkly" which was a little hard to make out, but then he points to a circle with a sparkle and says "sparkly". He did this a couple times and I was stunned that he could differentiate between the two little designs like that. I've said that to him many times but had no idea he was picking it up. Later in the afternoon, I went to our garage freezer which is down a couple steps so Julian was standing above me and as I turned toward him he began a little mini lecture in Julian speak replete with pointing gestures, then changing his stance, then putting his hands together and apart. I was crying I was laughing so hard. Lanty was around so he got to witness it too. After we got groceries he saw me holding the graham crackers and again it was a little hard to make out but he actually said "graham cracker?", his way of telling me he wants one. I was impressed that he knows the difference between the animal crackers I give him regularly and the graham crackers which he gets less frequest. He could just ask for cracker but he is starting to combine words now. Later when we were getting coats on he says "churchy?" which is how I say church and yet I hadn't told him we were going to church. So again more signs of him growing and developing but seemed like a lot to me for one day.

Today I was reading 1Samuel 22. David continues to be pursued by Saul. Saul finds out that the priest Ahimelech helped out David by giving him a sword and supplies and he is so furious that not only does he have Ahimelech killed, but all 80+ sons too (only 1 escaped) and these men were beloved priests of the Lord. Such a vile thing that Saul had done. Again it speaks of how hardened his heart had become in his anger and jealousy of David. Even his own guards disobeyed his command to kill the priests, he had to get another (Doeg) to do it. Beth Moore notes David's response to this horror. He takes a stand for God and reminds himself that God is not responsible for destruction. That God repays evil and placed his hope solely in God.

Lanty and I had some time to ourselves today to catch up. We have realized that it has been hard to keep our marriage relationship a priority so we are making time every week to debrief and check in. Our goal is to be accountability partners for each other. Sharing what some of our challenges or struggles have been personally or with each other and then checking in with one another to see how that has been going. We also want time to confess and pray for our marriage and parenting of Julian. We have realized that if we don't have this open line of communication things can build up and then we end up dealing with resentment or bitterness. This was a good time to unload a little bit and then pray about it.

Tonight was bath time for Julian and I don't think I have ever seen him do this. He actually laid down on the changing pad so I could get him ready for his bath! He loves bath time and playing with his bath toys; his seahorse, walrus, hippo, Nemo fish and also coloring on the walls with his washable crayons. Tonight was the first night he'd draw a little circle/scribble and point to it and say "fire truck" to which I, of course, say what a nice fire truck!

Looking for the special in the ordinary

Today was fun. J and I were invited on a play date with a mom I met at our church's Titus group. Eileen and I decided to meet at the mall to have lunch together and then to let the boys loose in the play area. We had a nice long lunch and a good time of getting to know each other better. I loved how J did his own getting to know Jackson by turning to him a few times and clapping to see if he clapped back and when he did he'd laugh. So cute. After lunch we went to the play area but were stopped when we found out the play area was closed off for construction! We couldn't really think of any other place to go since Eileen's son Jackson isn't big enough for McDonald's play land and there aren't a lot of options so we just hung out a bit more on one of the mall benches. After chatting some more it was time to change someone's diaper and head home.

We stopped at the library to pick up some books and videos I put on hold. J just loves the library. He likes tinkering on the computers in the children's area, playing with legos, pulling out books for mommy to read to him and pulling neat looking videos off the shelf (that mommy has to put back). The only bad thing about the library is when it's time to go! He gets really upset and usually gets to tears because he just doesn't want to go. But that time inevitably comes and he survives! Today we got a few Elmo videos and a video on fire trucks. The best though is the video combining two of J's favorites - Elmo and fire trucks - in a video where Elmo gets to visit the firehouse.

The rest of the afternoon/evening was pretty slow and relaxing. I always enjoy watching L and J play and J would bring his books to daddy to read. That is precious when Julian sits on his lap and they read books together. He really enjoyed the firehouse Elmo video too.

Saturday always starts with chocolate chip pancakes. J gets excited and starts chanting "pancakes? pancakes?" and I can't make them quick enough. He gets chocolate all over his hands and face. Then he lifts up his hands and says "uh-oh" like telling mommy, uh-oh my hands are so dirty. He also loves it when I give him a taste of the batter while I'm in between pancakes. He's becoming quite good at begging as he will also say "chok-lit" over and over until I give him a chocolate chip or two. He's definitely got momma's sweet tooth.

After breakfast J again had Elmo on his mind. Now he's saying to me "Elmo watch?" letting me know he wants to watch some Elmo. So I put in the video and he'd watch a little and then run over to me on the couch, then watch a little more, then run over to me on the couch. This was new. It must've been all that chok-lit.

Later in the day we went to visit friends who live somewhat close. Since they have nice sidewalks good for walking we brought J's little push-car so we could take a walk there. Our friends ended up not being home but we got out our little car and then remembered we have other friends that live nearby who we hadn't seen in a couple years. They ended up being home and Lisa just melted when she saw us with J. I will never forget how Lisa reached out to me during my postpartum depression time. She went with me to my first therapist appointment which I was really nervous about and later gave me the most relaxing foot massage. I think it was the first time I could actually relax a bit since my break down after J's birth. That must have been within 6 months of J being born.

At their place, J was shy at first but it only took him about 5 minutes to warm up. I think the rice crackers Lisa was giving him helped. That's another one of his favorite things - crackers. We then decided to introduce J to their giant but very friendly German Shepherd and he did so well. The dog was so excited she lunged/kissed me a couple times and J got this really scared/I'm not sure about this look on his face. We think he didn't like how the dog lunged at me and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. It was a nice time of catching up.

That night was our date night. We were able to get L's old roommate to come and basically house sit since J would be in bed. We did our usual, going out to Hubbard Diner for dessert and conversation. We agree we need more date night ideas so we're not always doing the same thing. We are missing some of our in-depth conversations. We don't take the time to really catch up like that on a daily basis. I'm missing that depth of connectedness that would come when we'd keep up with each other like that. We haven't done this for a while but we're going to go through another book together. This one is called Boundaries in Marriage which we got as a wedding present 7-1/2 years ago and never read. I think it will be good. Some of the chapters deal with conflict and conflict resolution which is an area that I find challenging. I really want to have a Christ-like response with handling conflict but that's an area I often lose it. The book also gets into healthy ways to relate to one another and some that are unhealthy. Another area I'm surrendering to the Lord is my sensitivity, that I'm often quick to be defensive or get hurt easily even when it's just someone joking with me. I do this a lot with L. We talked about an area L could grow and that is in the area of giving affirmation. So we have a focus and it will be good to go through this book together and work on maintaining a deeper connection.

Sunday was a pretty ordinary day for me. Since L had plans to watch the super bowl at a friend's house we went to the early service at Blackhawk. We started a new series called Redefined. For the next three months we'll be looking at how Jesus redefined everything when he came. How things were very much turned inside out and upside down. Unfortunately I found it very hard to focus, I was so tired. I remember how the sermon started and ended but I lost a lot in between.

While L was gone watching the super bowl, J and I got to have fun together. I had the game on and he just loved watching football. He gets mixed up and calls it "baskey-ball" and he was running around and around the living room in circles and stopping to peak at the game, then running around again. We also went grocery shopping and when we got home he was my little helper again taking things out and bringing them to me. He gets so excited when he can help.

Finally, to today. In my time alone with the Lord I felt another theme being reinforced. I got a book called A Heart Like His which looks at the life and faith of David. Today's focus was on strength and tenderness. This reminded me of something I read in a book Chuck Swindoll wrote for becoming a Godly parent. What stood out to me there was his talk about discipline being gentle yet firm. I took some time to just think about this and really search my heart. I prayed and was asking the Lord that I would grow in those attributes. I find it's too easy to discipline while angry and all gentleness is forgotten, but I really see the importance of that element, gentleness (tenderness) a quality of Christ and a fruit of the spirit. Being firm is important but to go hand in hand with gentleness is powerful and honoring to the Lord. I need to learn how to do this and my prayer is the Lord would teach me situation to situation.

Julian did a lot of "Elmo watch" today and he also loves a Richard Scary library book on words. He takes it up to his nap with him and loves pointing to the pictures and saying what it is like owl, cheese, cow, pancakes, house. It's so fun to see him continuing to learn.