J has a play date with the girls

Yesterday we had our first park date of our Titus mom's group. We're no longer meeting in the church gym, but meeting at various parks around the city. I was the "host" which meant I picked the park and got there early to welcome people. We met at McKee Farms. It was nice meeting some new moms and this time I let J do more running around on his own and was able to have more conversations. An older boy, Steffano, was helping keep an eye on him. We had fun until 4 school buses full of older kids came and so most of us left since the kids were too rowdy for our little ones. It ended up being close to lunch time.

I got together with my women's bible study group to review Ecclesiastes chapter 4. The highlight for me was where the author says enjoyment does not come from possessions or riches. Nor does it come from companionship, popularity or fame. It comes by knowing the living God and taking everything from his hand with thanksgiving, whether pain or pleasure. I do believe God controls what comes into your life. So I need to remember that what's happening is happening because God allowed it, so there must be some way he's going to use it for my good (Romans 8:28).

When I got home, it was pretty warm so I got on J's suit and we went in his pool for the first time. We played with his water toys and then he was asking me to sit with him but I didn't have on my suit. I decided I'd put it on and I brought a few balls into the pool too. Soon after that he was wanting to go back inside.

For my devotional time, I finished reading Luke 9. I had a thought. I was thinking how when I read about David so often I was really moved and so in awe of his relationship and devotedness to God. Yet I'm noticing that I'm not having that experience in this study. I think part of it is that I just really can't fathom all the miracles Jesus is doing. I'm reading and it's like, oh-he did another miracle. Not, wow-this is so moving and incredible to think of someone blind regaining their sight! Like verse 43 And they were all amazed at the greatness of God. I want to be amazed. In my reading, the disciples were arguing over who among them was the greatest. We see how very human they are. Here, Beth says that the road to greatness is through humility. That is an area I could grow for sure. Beth says that God wants us to get beyond the "self" stuff; self pity, self indulgence, self absorption, self exaltation. This is a daily challenge.

For dinner, we were meeting friends at a pizza place. They have been raising money as missionaries and are soon moving to Malawi, Africa so we wanted to treat them. J kept saying "pizza pizza" while waiting for daddy to get home. He loves pizza so he ate well and then did a lot of coloring so we were able to hang out for a couple hours and he actually stayed content in his high chair. We played outside for a little bit when we got home but it was getting dark.

This morning, we had a play date at my friend Joan's with her daughter and Heather and her daughter whose birthday was today. Our kids are all in the turning two stage. It was a good opportunity for them to practice sharing as they all wanted what the other one was playing with. J kept going into Joan's daughter's room and bringing out more and more toys. Heather made the cutest little monkey face cupcakes which the kids loved. As we were getting ready to leave J found a musical barn toy magnet and started dancing to the songs then the girls started dancing too. It was so cute watching all three of them dance together. When we got home, for some reason I got my nerve to cut my hair short. I just was ready. So I got my hair cutting scissors and cut probably 4 or 5 inches off. It feels much cooler so I think it'll be good for summer.

We ended up futzing around before and after lunch so we didn't do much outside in the afternoon but ran to the store, stopped at a garage sale and made a stop at the library. It was pretty cute at the library, J made a friend of an older girl. She kept asking him to watch her puppet show but he didn't want to sit so she ended up reading him a couple books while they sat in a chair together. She'd just make up the words from the pictures.

In my devotional time, I started Luke 10. Jesus sent out 72 disciples to teach and heal. Beth shares that often our work for the Lord is done not by ourselves, but in fellowship with others. The disciples came back elated by all they were able to do for Christ, but he corrects them saying they should instead rejoice that their names are written in heaven. In other words, the greatest cause we have for joy is not what we do but who we are, children of the living God. She says dare to do what he's calling you to do. Often I'll get these ideas of blessing someone in a specific way, but then I end up for one reason or another not doing it. I see how I rob myself of the opportunity not only to share joy, but to receive it by giving of myself.

During J's nap, I was blogging and lost track of time. By the time I looked at the clock it was 5 minutes until L gets home from work and I hadn't made dinner! Oops. I ended up making grilled cheese but J was in a funky mood and cried most of dinner, not eating much. He perked up once I said we could go outside to play. Tonight, he was using my golf club to hit some plastic golf balls around the driveway. Then he had fun throwing balls into his pool. Before bed, I gave him a bath but he still hates getting his hair and face wet. He cries and gets so upset yet all I can do is go fast. Hoping there will be no carryover, I tried to get him excited about swimming tomorrow. Then daddy came up and did the rest of tucking him in for the night. I'm looking forward to the longer weekend. So far we planned a date night tomorrow night and then L goes golfing Sunday so maybe J and I will have a play date.

Trip to the doctor

This morning was J's 2 year well child visit with our pediatrician. It turned out he needed 2 more shots, but then none until age 5! I always hate that part because he's so trusting of you and then you allow this person to just jab him and it's really upsetting. I'm glad it's quick though. J did really well getting weighed on the big boy scale and sitting through the hands-on exam. He can say our pediatrician's name now, which is cute. He's only 25 pounds and in the 5% range for height. He's so little (but I like that). After that, we did our grocery shopping for the week. He's now saying "I can walk" going into stores and places so I'm doing less carrying. When we got home, I wanted to get out our garden hose and J got the idea to play fire fighter with it so I ran and got his fireman hat and we went around "putting out fires".

Today was our big expedition to get the sand for his sandbox. I had no idea how much to get so I got 7 (50 lb.) bags but only needed 5. I don't have any of the sand toys yet and I won't introduce him to it until his birthday. I just realized today that the sandbox is a purple dinosaur. I thought it was a turtle! We also got a little wading pool today that was only $4. The reality of summer being around the corner is becoming more real. J wanted to go to McKee Farms after the store, and they were setting up for a carnival. The last time J was at a carnival he was only 2 months old! It'll be great if we're around for it. During J's nap, I used his stroller to wheel the 50 lb. bags of sand one by one to the back yard and now the sand is ready.

After dinner, we went to the Y. I did a fast walk for 30 minutes without running today. I don't think I'll drop my run again since I didn't feel like I got a very good workout. J colored a spider man picture. His pictures are getting more and more colorful now. After the Y, daddy and I spent some time outside playing with J. He just can't get enough of being outside and always asks to go out. Tonight, he started a new game saying "1-2-3 go" and he'd start running. I don't know where he got this idea but I liked it. Daddy would slowly chase him and he'd run and laugh. I couldn't believe how much energy he had left to burn off before going to bed. We pulled off the tiny band-aids from his shots (tweety bird and snoopy) and he wanted to take them to bed with him. Kids have such goofy ideas sometimes.

To Everything (turn, turn turn)

We started the morning with reading a book and J seemed in a fine mood, but then a couple things didn't go his way and he was easily upset with long bouts of crying and pouting. Nothing I did calmed him so I let him calm down on his own. I decided it was better to keep his morning nap rather than push it to get to the Y so J won't be this edgy the rest of the day. Daddy left early to spend most of the day downtown as he'll be meeting with a couple brothers in Christ and also getting a little alone time.

In my devotional time, I continued in Luke 7. Here, John the Baptist (who was in prison) sent two men to question if Jesus was the one to come or someone else. Jesus told them to report the miracles they'd witnessed and that the blind receive sight, the lame walk, the deaf hear...Beth says that John was probably wondering how he is going to "prepare the way" from prison. John was likely fighting some doubts about his calling and even who Jesus was. We too need to work out our doubts with the Lord instead of letting them fester underneath.

I also read more in Ecclesiastes starting chapter 3 in which we read the famous lines like, there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. There is an appropriate time for all of life's experiences; a time to be born, and a time to die, a time to mourn and a time to dance.... We don't get to escape sorrow, mourning or even death as these are a part of our living experience. But there is a hope in it too. I'm thinking of the verse from John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. Those words bring me comfort having lived through a period so dark I didn't know if I'd come out and be "me", be Tracey again. I thought I was lost, damned...for real I thought that. Even when I could no longer "hear" God's voice, he had never let me go and I came out of it and I am Tracey again. Yet a forever changed Tracey.

There's something from yesterday I forgot to share that has to do with this. I'm wrestling with some of the author's comments on chapter two of Ecclesiastes. He says, "All in life comes from God's hand so pain, sorrow, bereavement, disappointment as well as gladness, happiness and joy; all these things are gifts from God. When we see life in those terms, every element of life can have its measure of joy - even sorrow, pain and grief. These things were also given to us to enjoy." I can't see enjoying sorrow, bereavement, etc. After talking about it with L, I think I understand it better. He was saying when someone reaches a point that they can actually give over their sorrow, pain, etc. to the Lord as an act of worship, there is joy in that. Yet he says he doesn't picture many reaching that point in their faith. That makes sense to me, and I know I'm not there.

After lunch, J and I took a trip to Home Depot to buy some things for the garden. We're in a condo so we have just a tiny space but this year I'll fit 3 cherry tomato plants, 3 regular tomato plants, 2 green pepper plants and 2 banana pepper plants. This will be enough to have it fresh with salads, for spaghetti, etc. but not enough for canning or freezing which is fine. I also bought and planted some flowers and a few hostas. I thought of my blog friend Tea praying over her garden and remembered to pray for God to breathe life on the plants so they would flourish. I rewarded J for being so patient at the store with a trip to McKee Farms, the park he loves. He made a new friend, an older girl named Virginia who was 5. He's already a charmer. He was trying to tickle her and would run up to her and run away giggling. She pushed him on the swing and then she had to go so she gave him a little hug. It was so cute.

On the menu for tonight's dinner was tacos, but I realized at the last minute that I had no ground beef. I thought it would be nice to not have to cook so we went to one of our favorite spots, Culver's. There was a little boy maybe 6 who came up to J and started talking to him while J was eating ice cream. He said what a cute little boy J was. I made the mistake of letting J hold the ice cream cone. Then he wouldn't give it back (we were sharing) and a few times almost lost it. He got really upset when I needed to take it back so I got a spoon to feed him and that solved the problem. We played outside for a while after we got home, but J wanted daddy too so he went inside looking for him and daddy came out. Eventually, it was time for bed so daddy read him his book and did the tucking in tonight.

Today I met two moms who were commenting on loving the stage J is in and they were wistful about it since their kids were now 5 and older. This is another way I think the Lord is telling me to savor my moments with J since they go so fast.

Here's the address for the song Turn, Turn, Turn (sorry I couldn't get the link to work)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPx71FLR4Wg&feature=related

A Hint of Summer

Yesterday was a really fun day. It started out with a bunch of moms from our Titus group getting together for a play date at McKee Farm Park, one of J's favorites in Madison. It was already no jacket weather at 10:30am and was beautifully sunny. It felt like a hint of summer. The kids had a great time especially on the slide. My friend Eileen would send her son down and I'd catch him, then she'd send J down so I could catch him and they loved it. They also loved walking along a ledge with us holding their hands. Eileen got some good pictures too. Speaking of pictures, it turns out that I won't be fixing my camera. It would actually cost more to fix it than the camera's worth because parts are so expensive. So I went to plan B and used my credit card miles to buy a new one. I can't wait to start taking pictures again as I love recording our days that way. After the park, Eileen and I headed down the street to Noodles for lunch with the boys. I put J in a booster seat for the first time and he did well.

When we got home, I thought J would be tired and want a nap but he kept saying outside so we threw the balls back and forth. Our neighbor came over to visit and to see my garden. He and I always talk about our gardens and what's growing. J and I went to Elver Park to get more mulch. I let him get out and he wanted to help so he held onto the shovel as I guided the mulch into the bucket. He loved it. We got to watch a fire truck that was practicing driving through cones. Then we played in the park for a while. We got a lot of fresh air. J was a good sport as I took him to the second hand shop to look for a few summer outfits. When I'd hold up a shirt to look at it he'd say, "put that one here mommy" and point into the cart. Such a cutie. Before his nap, I read him a counting book. He's learning to count to ten. He'd say 1-2-3-4-6-7-10 on just about every page.

We met with our life group for a night of sharing. The topics were: Talk about your best friend, your happiest moment over the last few months, confession on what would you like to do over from last week, your vision for life group. This ended up being a great opportunity to get to know one another better. My happiest moment was when J and I went to the grocery store and were "dancing" in our seats in the parking lot. Also a time I was holding him right before bed and just rocked him and held him close savoring the moment.

This morning Eileen and her son joined J and I at Pal Zone. J was not into the story time part. He was more interested in another boy's toy and got very physical trying to grab it and I had to step in. He got loud and upset so we went back to the play room where he calmed down. After lunch and an errand, we spent some time hanging out at the library. I'm able to browse or go check out books at the counter now while J plays in the kids area. I used to need to carry him with me so he wouldn't run around but he's getting really good about staying in one place. J had another interesting dinner. Two packs of apple sauce and some goldfish were all I could get him to eat. When I was walking into the nursery at the Y, I heard a little voice saying "fire fighters" and I knew it was J. Sure enough he had on a fire helmet along with the boy next to him and they were playing fire fighter. He was really wound up, I wasn't sure if he'd go to sleep but he did.

J's first time swimming

This morning was J's first time swimming! Our mom's group was having swim time for the kids at a place called Swim West which is 2 minutes from our house. I had no idea how he would do. We got all changed and went to the swim area and J was going ahead of me. There were balls floating in the water and he wanted to get them. He was just about to step into the water and stopped to look at me, a little unsure. I picked him up and we headed in. He did great! It was an answer to prayer. I was amazed at how well he did. He enjoyed it. The water was really warm. He really liked getting the floating balls and throwing them around. He also liked splashing and kicking while I held him. He even got his face wet.

This week for our women's bible study we're doing a chapter on the bride of Christ. I finished most of it today. Some of my favorite parts of this study:
John 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. This verse is so comforting. That even now, the Lord is preparing a place for us with him in eternity.
1John 3:1-3 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! With this verse, I thank the Lord that he calls us his own children. What a picture, that he lavishes his great love upon us. I have to let that sink in.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Another reminder of his love. A love that brought him to the cross.

After splitting a cheese quesadilla for lunch, we went to McKee Farms for some time outdoors. The weather again has been great. We didn't need our coats since we were in the sun. I got some good pictures of J climbing the kids structure. Today he was really into the tot slide. He went with me holding his hands (it was a short slide). He was up and down the slide several times. Maybe soon he'll feel okay going on his own. A boy came up near him and J was reaching out his hands toward his face. I let him know not to do that. Later, he was going through a little tunnel and a girl came up behind him. He reached back and gave her a slap on her face. I was shocked! So was the girl. J wouldn't say he was sorry, he just sniffled. I apologized to the little girl and told J park time was over. I had a one-sided conversation going about this for a while telling him this was not nice and he may not hit people. Once we got home, he said something about little girl and hit and nose. Then he said sorry. I'm not sure if he really knew what he did was wrong, but I hope so.

Today in "Jesus, the One and Only", we continued reading Luke 1. Beth asks the question, "What does a young girl do after (being visited by an angel) receiving such incredible news?" Mary went on a trip to see her cousin Elizabeth (mother of John). How kind of God to provide someone to share her joy. How wonderful it is to have another woman to confide in like Mary has in Elizabeth. We long to find someone who's gone down the same road we have. Beth shares that we see Mary's love of scripture in Mary's song (verses 46-56). It reflects 12 different Old Testament passages.

After dinner, we went to the Y and I had to push myself on the running part of my workout (15min running, 15min walking) but it felt good. I was humbled today as I realized I am really weak in willpower in my eating healthy program. Before dinner, I had 2 separate sweet snacks when I'm not supposed to have any. I look back like, what was I thinking? I already had 1 snack, why did I go get another? Ahhhhhh. Frustrating. But confessing this in the blog is strengthening me since I need to stay on track. I am carrying around what's probably close to one of those 40 pound bags of rock salt! I'm feeling it a bit in my knees. I've got to listen to my body telling me enough is enough. Help me Lord!

Perfect day for the zoo

Yesterday I didn't get my devotional time off the ground. I felt like I slept okay, but for whatever reason, maybe I was really comfortable on the couch or something but I could not stay awake. I kept reading the verse over and over but couldn't focus on the study. I was able to pray a little bit.

I spent a lot of the day planning out my son's birthday celebration. We are going to have a dedication at our church in the morning and then a birthday picnic afterward. I decided on an Elmo theme since that was the first character he chose as a favorite. We went to the store and picked up invitations and all the place setting items too. We'll see if I end up with enough. Then I sent out a "save the date" invitation by email. I'm really looking forward to celebrating with our family and friends.

Since Julian kept asking for "King Farms" which is McKee Farms, one of the parks we go to, we spent some time hanging out there on the play structures. I heard someone call my name and was pleasantly surprised to see a friend I know from my mom's group. It was great timing. There were several friendly moms today making conversation about our kids. Then we had to leave since it was time for his nap.

We had a little time after dinner to play before my husband and I headed out to our life group. Dad was playing the guitar and Julian was dancing with our babysitter. During our small group time, one of our questions related to the sermon was about what ways you have found to grow in your pursuit of God. There was a lot of good sharing and I shared for me it's in having some basic time alone with the Lord every day. We were all sharing how challenging it is to have time to balance everything and you have to really fight (yourself and your circumstances) to get that time every day. But the rewards are so great. Instead of doing something just to put a check mark on your to do list, it creates in you a deeper relationship with God so you crave those times together. I liken it to our need for daily spiritual food which I think is just as great as our need for real food. We ended up getting home so late there was no time to do a blog post.

This morning, Julian seemed a bit punchy. Like he had a bit of edginess to him. I was hoping that would go away since our plan would be to go to the Pal Zone play group that meets on Wednesdays. I prayed about it and was so relieved that we ended up having a really nice time. Julian responded well when I reminded him we were going to share today and play nice, which I had to do a few times. But it didn't get any worse like it has in the past with him trying to hit or push someone. Then at story time, he participated more like saying his name when he was asked to stick his name on the board at the front. He giggled a lot through the goofy songs too.

In my Place of Quiet Rest book, the topic today was about surrendering control. Although I know this is at the core of following Jesus, to have him as Lord, I still find it hard. I agree with Nancy because I know I do this: when we have a difficult or annoying circumstance, we'll often tend to view the difficult person or circumstance as the problem, yet if we instead see this as something God has allowed and we can trust him, it really opens up an opportunity to grow. It also gives us a whole new way of relating to that circumstance! She shares how taking time to be with God every day keeps our heart in check. By opening our hearts to him he will show us when we're stuck and help us move beyond it.

After our play group, we came home and packed a lunch for the next part of the day which was meeting our friends for a picnic and fun at the zoo. This was our first time going to the zoo this season and we had fun. He liked hearing the lion roar and was saying "again, again" to the lion. Then the otter was hiding behind a stump so he's saying "come here Otter, come here". I couldn't believe how warm it got today, close to 80 with no clouds. Just gorgeous. I was really warm in pants. I could tell Julian not having a morning nap was catching up with him though, as he started to get restless and crabby. I gave him his nuk and blankie in the car and he was asleep within minutes.

I totally forgot that we're focusing on Mary the mother of Jesus this week for my bible study. I didn't even look at the study until today. I had a little chuckle to myself when I saw what one main topic would be, Mary showing us the meaning of surrender. I love it when God puts an "exclamation point" on something he wants me to see in my life. It's about surrender! If only it was as easy to put into practice as it is to share these insights that I have. Some of the main aspects we learn of Mary were how she knew the scriptures well, she had a worshiping heart and a humble, teachable heart. Like when the angel told her she would give birth to the Messiah she responded "I am the Lord's servant.....May it be as you have said." One interesting highlight was that if you go back through the Old Testament, there is a common thread tying the books together and that is the ever-unfolding promise of a savior.

Julian took a long nap but woke up still out of sorts and cranky. Our day wasn't over yet as we had another adventure of going out to dinner with our friend Brad. He wanted to play outside but I had to get stuff ready to go as I pack a little din-din for him. He had a couple melt downs in the beginning but then he enjoyed Brad making faces at him and teasing him and he settled into eating then coloring. Our friend just lost his mom so our hearts were heavy as he explained her sudden passing from a heart attack. We got home past his bedtime, but it was so nice outside that the three of us just hung outside watching the stars for a while. Then going to bed Julian was just wired, so we played a few games of chase the blankie and tickle mania before he settled for sleep. I was then able to spend some time catching up with my younger sister on the phone. Now it's off to bed!

Teach us to number our days

I'm continuing to read A Place of Quiet Rest in the morning as I have time. I really liked the part I read today, especially after the day we had yesterday. Today her (Nancy Leigh DeMoss) focus was on restoration of our souls (Psalm 23). Just thinking about that is refreshing to me. Probably because I've felt that weariness of soul many times before, and know what renewal comes with the restoration. It's not just resting, but resting in Him. In all of us there is a deep spiritual hunger and we need spiritual food to fill it. Time in prayer, study, worship, quiet reflection. That's where I find it. It's a good reminder to slow down even if the pace around us is hectic, to make the time to allow Him to refresh and restore us. (I have to take my own advice!)

We had the radio on this morning and Julian came up to me pulling my hand. I wasn't sure what he was doing until he said "dance, mommy". He wanted me to get up and dance with him! How adorable.

It's hard to believe I'm coming to the end of the story of David. Today in 1Kings 1 David is very old and frail. His son Adonijah is appointing himself king without David's knowledge. Those close to him (the prophet Nathan, Bathsheba) warn him so he swears on oath to Bathsheba with others listening that their son Solomon shall be king. David even in his old age made all the plans and preparations. Solomon was anointed as king and he took his seat upon the royal throne. As I was reflecting on what today's word was teaching me, I was thinking about David's old age and how fleeting our lives really are. Many times I hear to live each day to the fullest (Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12.) How many of us really do that? I'll be first to admit I get comfortable in the day to day routines of life and often don't think about it. It was good to stop and reflect on that.

It was so beautiful today, we had to spend some time outside. I put together some food and Julian and I had a little picnic in the back yard. After lunch, we headed to McKee Farms which is a 60 acre park 10 minutes from our house. Julian is finally big enough to go on the kids play structure and he enjoyed it a lot. When we were leaving he got to see a couple fire trucks racing down the street, he was excited about that.

Tonight our small group got together to help some families in the area with groceries. We met at the food pantry and worked together to pick out the groceries and get them ready. Julian got to join us and most of the time he had fun just watching everyone. Our friend played hide and seek and chase with him and he just loved it. He'd squeal with laughter every time she popped out and surprised him.