Praying for Your Husband

I wasn't planning on writing a post tonight ... in fact, I thought I'd be in bed by now. You see, my husband (L) and I had a fight tonight and to steer clear, my plan was to go right to bed while he stewed in his anger downstairs. He ended up going to bed first, so I decided to stay away until things settle a bit. I thought maybe I'd watch a movie or read, but then I came across this bookmark about how to pray for your husband and was stopped in my tracks.

So ... my husband is very protective of a new guitar he recently got, and it's understandable based on the demise of his last one. His old guitar was crushed under the wheels of our car this past summer. He "knew" that guitar almost two decades longer than he knew me! It was something he bought while he was in college (his first major purchase) and he cherished it. Long story short, while we were on a trip, I was packing the car and I forgot about the guitar. I left it leaning against the trunk and when we backed up and heard a sickening crunch, I was shocked to realize what had happened. The guitar was completely ruined. It took L a good part of the day before he could talk about it and I know it's not a pleasaant memory for him. Well, tonight he came storming into my son's room while I was putting him to bed and was outright furious saying I had allowed my son to play with the guitar and it was all messed up. The truth was that I did see my son go over and strum on it so I immediately corrected him. He knows he's not allowed to play with it. I never did see him twisting any of the tuning knobs, but that's what L said he must have done.

It's not often that my husband gets over the top mad. When he does, I know the best remedy is to give him space and time, for in time the Lord always brings conviction and he's able to forgive and let things go. I just wasn't prepared that this would set him off in the way that it did. I found that I personally was beside myself with anger and hurt, feeling indignant and I couldn't shake the upset so I went to be by myself. Then when I found this bookmark, my heart completely softened. I am so thankful that the Lord touched my heart and has used the situation to bring something positive. The last thing I expected I'd be doing tonight was sitting here praying for him. It usually is so easy to just stew in my anger and I often don't recover so quickly. Yet tonight the Lord really impressed upon me the need to be a peacemaker and to uphold my husband in this way. I love these 10 things to pray for your husband and will seek to pray this regularly for him. It's amazing how the Lord is at work in all the things in our lives. For those reading this who are married, I pray this would encourage you to uphold your husband in prayer in this way.

Now I think it's time for me to go to bed!

A Blogger's Prayer (Ann Voskamp)

Life has still kept me from sitting down and getting to write a meaningful post here ... so I am posting something I saw today that I liked. Since she requests that it not be copied or pasted, I am including the link to the post below:

A Blogger's Prayer from A Holy Experience

Learning how to bowl and other fun things

(Monday)
Daddy's back to his school year schedule working 9:30-6pm instead of 7-3:30pm. Over the summer, we had lost our routine of praying together so now I'm back to getting up earlier at 7am. We're hoping to have some time alone before J wakes up to talk and catch up and then pray together before L leaves for work at 9am. No more summertime sleeping in. J has been sleeping in lately and I couldn't believe it but he didn't call out for me until 10:30am! So I had a bit of alone time which was nice. Once he was up and going, he did lots and lots of coloring. When I was in my chair, he kept coming over with a crayon and asking me to color something. Then he'd watch with such intensity, pointing to things for me to color in the picture.

J was trying to pull something out of the toy box, but I wasn't sure what he wanted. He asked for help and it turns out he wanted to play with a bowling set he got for his birthday but hasn't used very much. We took it outside and I set it up and began teaching him how to play. He wanted to get really close to the pins, but finally listened to me asking him to stand further back. We worked together on how to bowl and he did move back further. Every time we knocked pins over J would yell "Yay!" and clap. I told J it reminded me of when we were down on State Street and saw some jugglers, then he said he wanted to juggle too. So he would hold the pins and just move his arms up and down saying "I'm juggling mommy!" After that, he wanted to walk in the grass and we went to the back yard and played in the sand box.

Whenever J goes in our bedroom, he always asks to "go up and on the big bed". I like to stack up all the pillows and then count to 3 or 4 and then toss him into them. We had a ball doing this today. I'd get done and he'd say, "Do again it!" (He mixes that up.) So I did this over and over until I was pooped. Then I laid down and pretended I was sleeping and as J came close I'd fling open my eyes and say "Oh, J woke me up." This made him laugh so hard. Then he'd pretend to sleep and I'd wake him up and we both were just giggling away. Before his nap, we read the story of Joshua and the battle of Jericho. He was very interested in this story and was pointing to various things in the pictures asking who and what they were. During J's nap, I had some cleaning up to do. The living room looked like a tornado hit and Monday is my "clean the bathrooms" day. Then I was able to have some devotional time (which I'll share about in Tuesday's post which I should have done soon.)

We went to the Y. When I picked J up, he came running over but then seemed to have second thoughts. I heard him say something about the dinosaurs and so he went back and started playing again. So I called him over and he came back. He had tons of energy when we got home. He was climbing all over me, trying to take my hair thing out. Running around. Throwing his blankie over my head. Later, while daddy was reading to him, I was cleaning his bathroom. Once daddy was done, J said he wanted to clean too and grabbed a little sponge. So I got his sponge wet and he started cleaning off the washable crayon. He was so excited. He'd ask for more water on the sponge so I'd rinse it out and he'd get right back to cleaning. He even got into the tub to help clean that too. We worked well together. This is the bathroom I neglect so it was so nice to have the satisfaction of seeing it all clean and organized. Then it was time for J to go to bed.

An enjoyable day

What a great day today was. The weather was incredible. Yesterday the incredible heat and humidity finally broke and today it stayed below 80 degrees with a beautiful breeze. J was really into activities and engaging with me today. It started when he got up and wanted to read his two favorite books of the moment. The first is The Farm Book where not only does it tell the story about life for a family on the farm, every picture has things to count! We counted cows, ducks, chickens, cats, horses and pigs. Then we read Ballyhoo Bay. These are both books we got from our library sale for $25 cents each. I love it when we get so much use out of a cheap find. After breakfast, we watched some of a couple videos. The first one was called Mighty Machines. In it are segments on different machines and what they do. We watched the fire house, a street sweeper and garbage trucks. I think he liked the garbage trucks the most. Whenever the garbage man comes to the house, he runs to the window to watch them and sometimes we go outside to get a closer look. He seemed to follow along as they showed the garbage going from the houses all the way to the dump and what happens there and in between. The other video we watched was Miracle of Mozart; Numbers and Shapes. He really loved the numbers but not so interested in the shapes. Then he wanted to put together the fire truck puzzle which we did in a past Tot School. He got out the pieces but then needed me to come and do the puzzle with him since he needs my hints and can't link the pieces together yet.

After lunch, we went outside to enjoy the gorgeous day. Most of the time we just played with bubbles. We ended up going in the garage since it was so windy it was hard for J to catch them and pop them which he likes to do. He brought out his bubble mower and I filled it up and off he went. Then he wanted to ride his little car. He hasn't used these two things in a long time. I would push him up the little hill in our driveway and I taught him to lift his legs up so he could roll down the hill. We went back and forth several times but then it was time for his nap.

Ahhh! I've been really challenged with having a daily quiet time the last week. It has been hit or miss. J's schedule keeps changing around and now there's really not a time I'm totally alone while J naps (since J is going down later and daddy gets home). I was able to spend some time today, but not as much as I wanted. I didn't get a chance to have a good prayer time. I seem to pray in spurts throughout the day. A person will suddenly be in my mind and I'll say a prayer for them or a situation comes up that I'll pray about. I continue to read Beth Moore's book To Live is Christ. Today I was in Acts 13 where Paul goes on his first missionary journey. He goes with Barnabas. Verses 2 and 3: While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them." ³So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off. Beth says that the first church in Antioch is such a wonderful example for us; the followers there have a willingness to give, to receive the word, to preach and teach. She shares that the leaders of the church in Antioch were constantly ready to hear from God. They fasted and prayed before sending off Paul and Barnabas on their journey. This is the heart that I am after, the constant readiness to hear from the Lord. I find though I need to continue to fight off distractions that get in the way of that and the general busy-ness of our culture. I want to take time to just sit before Him. Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. Yet I find it hard sometimes to do that, to just sit. So that is something I'm going to pursue. I find it so healthy when I'm able to slow down like that and just rest before the Lord. Beth continues that verse 11 records the first miracle that we see God perform through Peter. It has to do with a sorcerer who opposes them when the proconsul (governor) sent for them so he could hear the word of God. The sorcerer is struck blind by Paul and the proconsul is amazed and believes. Verse 12: When the proconsul saw what had happened, he believed, for he was amazed at the teaching about the Lord. Beth shares that the Lord wants to amaze us with the wisdom of his word. He wants to show us how relevant he is and widen our vision. I want a heart that is ready to receive all that He has for me.

After J woke up from his nap, we had a pretty tame evening. We worked out at the Y. J started crying when I dropped him off. He did this at church too so he seems a little more sensitive lately to me leaving him. It's funny the phases they enter and leave and enter again. Then he didn't want to leave when I picked him up! He told me he was having fun playing with a little boy. They were playing with dinosaurs. We then watched daddy playing basketball for a little bit. J wanted to get a couple basketballs and we went to the kids basket. They have a huge mat three feet high and J wanted me to toss him onto it and then he wanted me to jump onto it. We were rolling around on the mat and jumping on and off and laughing like crazy. He didn't want to leave that either. At home, it was time for a bath and then sleep.

Just some thoughts.....

Today, L and I were having a good discussion and one of the things we talked about was prayer and being in the word. One of the things he said was so true, that it is so easy to not take the time to pray or be in the word on a regular basis. It is so easy to let it slide. So today ended up being a day where my time with the Lord went by the wayside. We went to Devil's Lake today leaving around 10am and were gone until 5pm. J then went down for a nap and I was having a friend over for fellowship at 6:30pm. Who knows what I did in-between other than eat and check the computer. But no time in the word.

About my prayer life...
While I met with my friend, I was sharing with her that since L went to his summer schedule in June where he leaves before I get up, we no longer have our daily time of prayer together. I was telling her how it is something I really miss out on, having my regular prayer partner. We would use the time to share things we'd like to pray about and what was on our hearts and then prayed together. It helped us stay more connected with one another. This was something my friend prayed about, that we would fit this in. So after she left and J went to sleep, we had some prayer time! It was so good to do this, and I just had to share. I see how I really took for granted what a difference this made in my life. Some days it was hard to pray when my thoughts strayed or I couldn't focus well. Now I see that even in those difficult days, we were doing something special. I'd like to get that back. Another confession is that I also wax and wane in my personal prayer times. Lately, it's gotten a little sparse again. I notice that I pray more when I am connecting on a more personal level with my friends, family. When I'm not getting in-depth connection, I tend to not think of them in prayer. I guess that makes sense to me (I know more what to pray when I'm more connected) yet I find the need comes up to recommit to making the time for it. So.....I need to pray for more prayer!

photo credit: Wonderful Word Bookstore

Had a little picnic

I have a giant box that I set up in the living room to see if J would play with it. He wasn't playing with it until I showed him mommy could fit in it. Then he crawled in with me. We played house and put a bunch of his little toys in there and then J crawled in to hang out and play with them.

I continued in Luke 8 today. Jesus and his disciples sailed across the lake from Galilee. There he heals a man who was demon possessed. The people were overcome with fear as they found the man peacefully sitting at Jesus' feet in his right mind. Jesus restored his mind and his dignity. Beth reflects that this was such a loss for those people. Instead of welcoming Jesus who just healed this man, learning from him or possibly being healed themselves, they asked him to leave thus missing out on what he may have had for them.

It took J a while waking up from his morning nap. I had time to put the clean sheets on the bed and put away the towels then he was finally waking up. My friend from Titus and her 2 daughters met J and I at the park after lunch. We hadn't been to our neighborhood park in a couple weeks since the weather hadn't been that good. Today was a gorgeous, sunny day. Joan and I seem to have good conversations when we get together. I shared about my difficult time of life after J was born and she shared some of her struggles too. It was fun watching the kids get to know one another better. We brought J's new tiny firetruck and he played with it for a while and then Olivia did too. They had a bit of a tug of war over it but then Olivia gave it back. J found a boy who brought a dump truck and a digger and the boy shared them. I think he was tired when we were leaving since there was no complaining like he'd usually do.

This morning J had more fun in his play house box. This time he'd rough house by rocking it back and forth and almost falling over but enjoying it. Then he played crash with his cars inside. We went to PalZone for some play time. I talked to a couple moms who were there for the first time. One had a boy that was a handful. I'm really glad for this group. It has been a great place for J to get the opportunity to play with a lot of different kids and work on sharing, story time and crafts. It was just beautiful outside when we were leaving. It was like a perfect day weather-wise.

In my devotional time, I continued in Luke 8. Jesus returned and a man named Jairus fell at his feet pleading with him to come to his home and tend to his sick daughter. As they left, the crowds were crushing yet Jesus was able to feel someone touch him. His "power" had gone out from him. He asked who touched him. Finally, a woman with bleeding issues for 12 years confessed why she touched him and how she'd been instantly healed. Jesus said, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." It was then that Jesus found Jairus' daughter had died but he commanded her to get up and she lived. I love what Beth says here, that God can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need him. This story of the woman with bleeding always moves me. She so completely believed and trusted in the Lord that in her mind if she could only touch him she felt she'd be healed. And she was.

J and I had a little picnic outside to enjoy the beautiful day. I think it was over 75 today. It was great hanging out on the patio eating together. J asked to play in the sandbox so we opened it up. He only has a bucket and shovel and a small bowl but it was enough to keep him happy playing in the sand. We also spent some time playing with his bucket of balls. Since he had a long morning nap and wasn't tired in the afternoon not wanting to nap, I let him stay up. We watched a bit of Veggie Tales "Lord of the Beans", a spoof of one of my favorite movies Lord of the Rings.

After dinner, we had a good workout at the Y. Lately, instead of trying to read while I work out I've been using the time to pray for J. I just open my heart and pray for all the things that come to mind. It's been such a good time of prayer as there are so many things to pray about and it's also uninterrupted time. While we were putting him to bed, he dragged all his blankets out of his crib and was putting them on the floor and laying on them. Daddy read his book and then I tucked him in.

The Parable of the Seed

This morning J and I slept in a bit. He got to bed a little late last night and wasn't up at the usual time so I took advantage of some extra rest. After breakfast, he was playing with his bristle blocks which is rare. He was pretty creative telling me he was making a see saw as he stacked the blocks on top of one another, and then he was making a sandcastle. Both were ideas he came up with on his own out of the blue.

In my time alone this morning, I started Luke 8. Jesus was traveling from one town and village to another. His disciples were with him but also some women like Mary Magdelene and Susanna. Someone told him that his mother and brothers were waiting outside. (Verse 21) He replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice." Beth (in my book Jesus, the One and Only) shares that our kinship with Jesus is based directly on what we do with God's word. That hits pretty deep. Later in the passage, Jesus tells the parable of the sower. I love this illustration. Seeds that fell along the path are like those who hear God's word with joy but then it gets snatched away. Seed that falls on the rock is like those who hear the word but have no roots. They believe it for a while, but when tested the roots don't hold and they fall away. The seed that fell among the thorns is like those that hear but the word is choked out as they go and are distracted by worries, riches and pleasures of the world. Finally, seed on good soil is like one who hears the word and retains it; they hear God's word and they put it into action. This reminds me of the verse in James (1:22) - Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Those are powerful and hard hitting words. It's really good to think about. I know there are many times I can read God's word but then fail to do it. What a call to pay attention and put those things into practice.

We had quesedillas for lunch. Now this is something J really loves. I have no problem getting him to eat these. He ate a whole tortilla and asked for more so I gave him some of mine. He even ate some banana with peanut butter too. He was hungry. We visited L's friend Susan who just moved into a new house. J found a little ukulele he played with until he saw the back yard with several balls lying around. We spent the rest of our time in the yard and he went on a trampoline for the first time. It was so great watching him get used to trying to walk around. He held my hands and we jumped and he was laughing so hard. Then they threw some of the balls in to play with and J and I had a great time. On our way home, we had a coupon so we stopped for some ice cream. Yum! Yum!

We went to the late service tonight since we were asked to be available after the service for people who want prayer. We started a sermon series on forgiveness. Tonight's message looked at our human way of getting even. Like when someone hurts us, we are triggered and want to hurt them back. He speaks about David (which took me back to my old study!) where David is ready to strike back at the wealthy but mean and stingy Nabal who slighted David after he and his men protected Nabal's men and sheep. It was Abigail (Nabal's wife) and her words of wisdom to David that softened his heart and he did not strike at Nabal and his men. His soft heart is key here. I know I have to ask the Lord to give me a soft heart towards others, especially those who hurt me, so I don't end up falling into the trap of returning evil for evil. It is so tempting to do that sometimes.

I let J stay up a bit later tonight to see his uncle from Chicago who stopped in. He has a business trip in the Madison area. I'm getting a purple turtle sandbox from one of my sisters and he brought it here for us. That's J's birthday present. He is turning 2 on Saturday! I have a lot of preparation yet to do for that day so it will be a large part of the upcoming week.

A Touch that Heals

This morning after daddy left, we went and did our grocery shopping. J got pretty antsy toward the end of the trip wanting to get out of the cart. Then I forgot that my credit card was closed out because of two fraudulent purchases (kinda scary) so I have no card until the new one comes. They put my cart in the cooler and I went to the bank and back to pay the bill. I also stopped by the post office to mail out an EBay package. I just started selling items there (due to buying the wrong thing) and had my first sale. It went well so I think I'll do more.

The day was just bing-bing-bing nonstop. J had an abbreviated nap and we had just enough time to eat and go. We had a neat activity planned. I signed up as a volunteer for a study day at our church. Every year the college students are invited and they open up the whole church so the students can study, eat, hang out, eat some more. I didn't want to get a babysitter to go volunteer, but since I wanted to help out I decided to bring J along. I thought it would be a good experience to serve with him. We were greeters and handed out a study day info sheet and J got into handing them out a bit too. Most of the time he colored or played with his car and played ball with one of the ladies. The college students and other students thought he was so cute. I'm glad we did this.

In my devotional time, I continued in Luke 5 where Jesus healed a leper and a paralytic. The man with leprosy came to him with complete belief that Jesus could heal him. Verse 12-13: When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" And immediately the leprosy left him. To me this account is so moving. This man completely trusts that Jesus has the power to heal him, humbly comes to him, and Jesus's first response was to reach out his hand and touch him. In that time, touching a leper was completely unheard of. Lepers were shunned. We see Jesus' love, his compassion in his gentle touch, a touch that heals. Just writing that brings to mind again how thankful I am for God's healing touch in me bringing me out of a dark depression (see Feb 20 post, "We like our books and taste of Africa"). A friend sent me wishes for a happy Mother's Day on Facebook saying how wonderful that the HAPPY part is true. This past week I've had a lot of difficult memories resurfacing from that time period. I look at it as ways the Lord wants to continue the healing, by being able to accept the past and the memories that are there. Thank you, Lord. Later, it says that often Jesus withdrew to lonely places and prayed. If you follow closely in the gospels, you see that although Jesus' ministry was so busy with so many followers, he would often get alone to have times of prayer with God. I thought about my prayer times and it would be good to take more time to pray. To just sit before God, quiet my heart, and pray the things that come to mind. I enjoy times of praying for others, yet it isn't always as in depth as it could be.

This was Y night and it was a challenge doing my regular workout. It felt harder on my knees and overall I was just more tired. I had to really push myself. These last two nights I got to bed at 12:30am since we've had a lot going on but it's just a reminder that I need to get more sleep. So I'm going to hold to that. When we got home, J wanted to play outside. He walked over to daddy's side of the car and took his hand saying he wanted to play with daddy. So we kicked a ball around for a bit before taking J to bed.

Overwhelmed by God's goodness...

We had a fun morning. It started out with eating pancakes and the chocolate on his mouth made Julian look like The Joker! Then we were reading a bunch of different books. Julian was going through a Clifford book on the ABC's and out of the blue says "L-M-N-O-P". Somewhere from Thursday to Sunday he learned some more letters. He surprises us sometimes with things he's picked up. Like later he was asking for Melvin which is a book about a truck named Melvin. He found the book and starts paging through it and then says "I can try, I can try" which is exactly what Melvin says in the middle of the book. Some things really stick with him. He must have been in a playful mood as he came up to me covering his eyes saying "peek-a-boo" and played that for a little bit with me. Then he was paging through a Richard Scarry book naming things like cake, school bus, barn, egg, picture. Right before nap time we were doing leg rides. I asked him if he wanted a horsie ride and he says yes and proceeds to climb onto his stuffed horse and got upset that it wasn't going anywhere. Not the horsie ride I meant!

I finished 2Samuel 7 today and chapter 8. I continue to be moved by the demonstrations of David's love and dependence on the Lord. I see a man whose heart is fully given over to Him. In this chapter he sat before the Lord and "offered him a prayer". He's in awe of how the Lord has been with him and granted him favor and so he poured out his heart. This is just after he was anointed king following all these years of struggle and the Lord promised his kingdom would endure forever. Now he rests from his enemies and seems overwhelmed by God's goodness. Beth reflects that David's prayer to the Lord is an expression of the intimacy he shares with him. I desire that kind of intimacy! I took some time to think of when I've been overwhelmed by God's goodness. The main time is God's grace in opening up my eyes to Jesus and leading me in taking the steps to follow him. It seems hollow to say I'm so grateful because words can't express how thankful I am to have found and be found by him. Another was finding my husband Lanty who has a powerful faith and has blessed my life incredibly. Another area it's hard to find words. And a biggee is the arrival of our son Julian into our lives, and being rescued from the depths of depression many months after he was born and then for the first time really enjoying raising him; just being overwhelmed by wonder and awe of the greatest gift he's given me. In chapter 8 we return to the battlefield where David is fighting for his kingdom. The Lord gave him victory wherever he went. What a powerful relationship! It says David reigned doing what was just and right for his people.

Several times today like when I got Julian up from his nap, when we were eating dinner and on our way home Julian and I would have these long "conversations" where I could make out about every 5th or 6th word. He'd go on and on and I'd respond back to him. He continues to learn his ABC's and sang different parts of the song. It's neat watching him learn this now that he's interested.

We had a wonderful time having lunch at the house church of a group of friends. This is a group from our old church which was on State Street and we later moved into house churches. It didn't take Julian long to warm up and start playing with the kids. It was great they had Thomas the train which is one of his favorites right now. What was really wonderful was when the moms were all in the kitchen sharing challenges with their kids and how they're responding. It really helped me to hear different perspectives on discipline and praying for your children in the midst of the struggles. Before we left, as a song on the piano was played Julian comes over and grabs me by the hand wanting me to dance with him. It surprised me how immediately I got really choked up and how something this simple was just so touching.

We picked Julian up from the nursery at church and they told us he was dancing with them again. Sometimes they hold his hand and other times he dances on his own. I told them how he was dancing with me earlier and they said "what a charmer". We went to McDonald's for dinner with our friends the Ane's and Connie and Nate from our life group. Julian kept taking fries off daddy's tray and it was hard getting him to eat anything else. It was great seeing Julian do so well with the Ane's daughters, 9 and 11. They just love and dote on him and he eats it up sitting in their laps or letting them carry him. He really is a charmer.

It came time to give Julian a bath and all I have to say now is "do you want to play with walrus?" and Julian goes to the stairs to go up and take a bath. He loves his bath toys and the walrus seems to be his favorite. He'd probably sit in there all night if I let him. He'll often get upset when it's time to be done so we go back and say night night to his bath toys.

Well it turns out I did have more to write about today. And now it's time to wrap up for the night.

The significance of prayer and seeking the Lord

We have a pretty full day today. After breakfast we headed out to go get groceries. We usually do that Saturday but going out to dinner took up that time. Julian is always so good in the store. He doesn't get bored with all the colorful packaging to look at and is pretty good about not monkeying around with the things in the cart.

Returned home and read 1 Samuel 30. David returns to the Israelites and finds their region has been destroyed and the wives and children taken captive. They weeped over this and his men were bitter. There was even talk of stoning David (looking for a scapegoat) so David had reason to get upset but instead he finds strength in the Lord his God. David then sought the Lord and was told to go and fight. David and his men won back all that had been taken and David wanted it split between those who stayed behind and those who went to battle. To the men that objected he declared by a statute that this was what should be done with what the Lord gave them. Beth reflects on how David's men turned their backs on David and how she thinks God will sometimes "leave us alone" without support to teach us how to find strength in him alone. I can definitely relate to that.

We got Julian's potty today. It's a talking Elmo potty (which we hope we don't regret getting). We don't think he'll be using it that soon, but wanted him to get used to it being around since he started the first stage of telling us when he has a dirty diaper. We got it out and Julian got to "play" with it for a bit. His big introduction to the potty.

We had some adult time with friends Jim and Becky while our kids had a play date. The living room was a romper room and the kids enjoyed themselves while we had a good time catching up. Julian did really well today with sharing his toys and I really didn't see much possessiveness which was great.

We picked Julian up after church today and his cheeks were bright red. They said he had so much fun and was "talking" a lot and dancing for them. I asked him to show me how he danced and he starts bobbing his head back and forth and wiggling his body. It was so cute. When we got in the car he started jamming to the music waving his head back and forth from his car seat. He was really keyed up.

At church we're continuing to read the book of Luke and looking at how Jesus was defined; not by the common man but coming from the perspective of those close to him. The focus today was on prayer. We see in Luke one of Jesus' disciples asking him to teach them how to pray. Jesus then shares what has become known as the Lord's prayer. We reflected on "hallowed be thy name", a call to seek the Lord starting with reverence and awe. A recognition of God as God. Seeking forgiveness also is to be a huge part of prayer. Praying in this way anew tonight brought such a sense of connectedness with the Lord. I am thankful for this teaching reminder.

Tonight was bath night and I always give Julian some play time before doing the actual bathing. It's amazing that he still fits in the whale tub that he's been using for the past 6+ months. He went through a stage of being afraid of the bath but now he's back to enjoying it again which is a blessing. Now it's time for a little relaxing and winding down after the weekend.

Catching up on the latest...

Wow I haven't had a new posting for February yet.....time got away from me. I'm putting together the highlights from the past several days to share.

On Sunday we finished a sermon series on the Holy Spirit that was powerful and encouraging. It was a four part series and this last part was one that I could very much relate to. It was titled "pain filled prayer" looking at Romans 8:18-27. I will share verse 26 since that captures how the Holy Spirit is at work. ²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. How powerful! When I'm in those times I feel like I can't pray or am so far from God I can't connect, the Holy Spirit in my knows exactly what to pray for me and intercedes on my behalf! That is powerful.

Our speaker focused on the work of the Holy Spirit when you are suffering or in pain. He shared that during times of suffering there may come a point where God seems absent or we feel furthest away from him and it's at those times he said, that the Holy Spirit is doing his greatest work in you. This took me back to the days of my depression, when I was in that place of separation. I felt so far from God, I couldn't "find" him anymore or even hear his voice. I had no idea at the time, since this was the first time I had experienced any type of depression or suffering on this level, I had no idea this was when the Lord was doing his greatest work in me. The time I finally got better happened after I went into the hospital a 2nd time and then was living with my son at my sister's home for a month. My meds had been changed which I think was a big help and I began working through the things that brought me tons of anxiety until the anxiety started going away. That part (the anxiety going away) I credit to the Lord's hand since it came about so quickly and I was able to return home to Wisconsin and only got better once I was home. So I'm grateful for this sermon and how it reminds me of all the work the Lord did even when I couldn't feel his presence. I praise him for never leaving me like his promise in Deuteronomy 31:6...For the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Thank you Lord.

The highlight for me on Monday was during a time I was making (or trying to make) homemade bread. The bread turned out to be a flop since it never did rise (the yeast was probably a year old but I didn't realize until after). The neat thing was while working on the bread Julian wanted to be in the kitchen with me. I continue to introduce things in the kitchen to him like talking about what I'm doing and what I'm making, letting him hold the spoon with me as I stir, so I tried to think of something fun for him. I ended up getting out a big soup pot and putting a little water in it and then I let him hold the spoon as we sprinkled some flour into the pot. I called it "flour soup" and gave him a wire whisk and showed him how to stir. He went from standing over the pot and stirring to getting intensely involved, sitting on the floor with the pot between his legs just stirring and stirring. Apparently he was having too much fun because I starting seeing a little puddle on the floor and caught him sticking his hands down into the pot, then I noticed his clothes both top and pants were soaked! He was wet through to his onesie and yet he loved every minute of it.

On Tuesday we started a new class, Toddler Time at the library. They sing songs, do rhymes and finger play for 20 minutes in a small group. I was a little nervous since Julian tends to wander a bit when we aren't carrying him around so I didn't know what he'd be like but he was great. He did really well sitting on his little carpet square and was very intent on watching everyone. He didn't join in with the clapping or wiggling of his feet, and things but I think that was more because he was entranced watching everyone else. Afterward we had fun hanging out at the library where he was drawing with crayons, going in and out of a little crawl space building and I was picking out books for him. He just loves books. When we're hanging out at home he will pick out and bring book after book and say "sit?", "read?" and he can be read to for hours. What I love most is watching him stand with a book open on the couch and he's "reading" it to himself! I have to get that on video so he can watch himself someday.

Later that night we had our small group meeting (a group of people from our church) yet only 1 person could come so she came to our house and we had a good time of sharing about what God's been doing in our lives, sharing areas that we need prayer and places we were reading in the Bible and what we're learning about.

On Wednesday we went to our play group called "Pal Zone" which meets at a local church. I'm starting to get to know a few of the moms there. It's been intense for me since there is some refereeing I end up doing as the kids interact with one another and some crying or squabbling comes up. That's helping to stretch me in patience and discerning when I need to step in and help. A neat part of the group time is doing a craft after story time and since the story was about a bear they had a bear mask that each of the children were given to color and put on a stick. At times Julian's attention span isn't quite long enough to focus on the craft the entire time but today he was focused. He had such intensity about him as he was coloring that our leader "Birch" was commenting on it. We came home with a nice scribbly brown & red mask. I really see how he's learning and growing from watching him in circle time. Today was the first time he went to the front of the room when they called his name and he picked up his name tag and put it on the board by himself. I was so proud of him. In the past he's gone up there but not really known what to do so I directed him. It's so neat to see him get things on his own.

Another fun thing was our field trip to the pet store. I got him (yet another) fish today. This is after going through TWELVE of them already. I was talked into getting the tropical fish but this time got the 27 cent goldfish and I think he's going to be around a while. He's actually very pretty, gold/orange with a black stripe down is back with a black tail. We named him George. So we have a goldfish and a shrimp (algae eater) as the shrimp was the only thing to survive all those rounds of fish.

Today we had our Titus group which is our mom's group at our church. The pastor's wife was speaking today about safeguarding our marriage. This was really good information which was practical and down to earth ways to take steps of keeping your marriage relationship a priority.

Finally, I again see another theme that the Lord is bringing out through my life. I think I said before I always pay attention when I see or hear the same verse or subject in different ways like it's God's way of speaking to me that something is important. Lately this theme is about prayer. A little story about that is that I've wanted to do something where I'm serving in ministry, sharing my gifts/talents to help others yet it's been hard to think of something to do that won't cost money like having to hire a babysitter to do it. Then I remembered a place I volunteered before and that's Carenet Pregnancy Center. They help women in crisis pregnancies as their main ministry but also help women who have gone through an abortion and are struggling about it afterward. I began to pray if this was where the Lord wanted me to be serving as I remembered they had prayer volunteers who were sent information weekly on how to pray for the various ministries. It was neat to see God's hand in this as I emailed my friend who is the director and she said this has been a burden on her heart for a while, to gather a team to pray for Whole Heart which is there post-abortion ministry. I remember thinking how easy it would be to think praying on a weekly basis isn't really "doing" much for sharing gifts or serving. But deep in my heart I felt the Lord saying and showing me how important the ministry of prayer is. How he is deeply moved by prayer. Then there were two different places that I saw prayer as the focus. One was on a newsletter I am getting, they were actually offering a free CD entitled "Life-Changing Prayer" and another place was a Christian woman speaker's website (Nancy Leigh DeMoss) about the importance of prayer. I see the room for growth I have since my prayer life has dwindled of late and now the last couple days I've had times of rich prayer where I give myself open time just to let the Lord lead and my mind goes to many different people, family, friends, situations and it's been very fulfilling. So again I thank the Lord for his continuing work in my life and what he reveals to me.

A few highlights...

Just a few highlights to share from the last couple days....
Yesterday was I think one of the busiest days I've had on record as a mom, in fact this entire week was. I had Titus playgroup in the morning, my women's bible study in the afternoon, making a dessert for the evening event which was mom's nite out soup swap at Blackhawk (our church). I was able to swing everything and still had energy at the end of the day which was a blessing.

I had a really good time of prayer during my quiet time yesterday while Julian was taking his morning nap. I've felt the Lord bringing my prayer life into the open and find that it was pretty sparse of late. It felt so good to have a solid time of prayer and the Lord brought so many people and things to mind to pray about.

The mom's nite out soup swap was a really neat idea. Everyone was to bring up to 6 quarts of soup that were all placed on a table and when they called your name you got to pick a soup so I ended up taking home 4 different soups (turkey chili, chicken corn chowder, white chicken chili and chicken with wild rice & almonds). They will be good eating for these cold days we've been having! I made an African peanut soup which I'd never had and never made before it just sounded neat and exotic. It ended up tasting good so I'll have to make some of that in the future.

Today was a nice and relaxed day with nothing planned in the day but plans for bowling in the evening. Julian and I went to the library in the afternoon and he always has fun there. He was really excited when he saw all the fire truck books I had on hold and checked out for us. So excited that he was whining to hold one of them on the way home. He is really into fire trucks so he's going to especially love the DVD I found. He's got a little cold and his nose was running all day. He would come up to me and say "tissue" and I'd wipe his nose for him. He's gone from hating to have his face touched to asking me to wipe his nose for him!!! How sweet.

Our small group from church got together for a nite of bowling. Julian's a bit too young yet for that adventure so Karen our friend/sitter came. This was actually the first time that someone other than Lanty and I have put Julian to bed! And it went really well, she said he was an angel. We have been so blessed to have a child that goes to bed (and naps) so easily and sleeps through the night (since he was 8 mos. old). Thank you Lord! We came home (after bowling horribly - me a 51 and Lanty a 58) to some cute stories about Julian. Karen just gets his diaper on and he jumps up and runs into the closet, playing a little game of come and get me. Then he crawls underneath the crib and says "hi!" to Karen. He went down easy for her and she was so glad.

Looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend too, with nothing big planned.