Overwhelmed by God's goodness...

We had a fun morning. It started out with eating pancakes and the chocolate on his mouth made Julian look like The Joker! Then we were reading a bunch of different books. Julian was going through a Clifford book on the ABC's and out of the blue says "L-M-N-O-P". Somewhere from Thursday to Sunday he learned some more letters. He surprises us sometimes with things he's picked up. Like later he was asking for Melvin which is a book about a truck named Melvin. He found the book and starts paging through it and then says "I can try, I can try" which is exactly what Melvin says in the middle of the book. Some things really stick with him. He must have been in a playful mood as he came up to me covering his eyes saying "peek-a-boo" and played that for a little bit with me. Then he was paging through a Richard Scarry book naming things like cake, school bus, barn, egg, picture. Right before nap time we were doing leg rides. I asked him if he wanted a horsie ride and he says yes and proceeds to climb onto his stuffed horse and got upset that it wasn't going anywhere. Not the horsie ride I meant!

I finished 2Samuel 7 today and chapter 8. I continue to be moved by the demonstrations of David's love and dependence on the Lord. I see a man whose heart is fully given over to Him. In this chapter he sat before the Lord and "offered him a prayer". He's in awe of how the Lord has been with him and granted him favor and so he poured out his heart. This is just after he was anointed king following all these years of struggle and the Lord promised his kingdom would endure forever. Now he rests from his enemies and seems overwhelmed by God's goodness. Beth reflects that David's prayer to the Lord is an expression of the intimacy he shares with him. I desire that kind of intimacy! I took some time to think of when I've been overwhelmed by God's goodness. The main time is God's grace in opening up my eyes to Jesus and leading me in taking the steps to follow him. It seems hollow to say I'm so grateful because words can't express how thankful I am to have found and be found by him. Another was finding my husband Lanty who has a powerful faith and has blessed my life incredibly. Another area it's hard to find words. And a biggee is the arrival of our son Julian into our lives, and being rescued from the depths of depression many months after he was born and then for the first time really enjoying raising him; just being overwhelmed by wonder and awe of the greatest gift he's given me. In chapter 8 we return to the battlefield where David is fighting for his kingdom. The Lord gave him victory wherever he went. What a powerful relationship! It says David reigned doing what was just and right for his people.

Several times today like when I got Julian up from his nap, when we were eating dinner and on our way home Julian and I would have these long "conversations" where I could make out about every 5th or 6th word. He'd go on and on and I'd respond back to him. He continues to learn his ABC's and sang different parts of the song. It's neat watching him learn this now that he's interested.

We had a wonderful time having lunch at the house church of a group of friends. This is a group from our old church which was on State Street and we later moved into house churches. It didn't take Julian long to warm up and start playing with the kids. It was great they had Thomas the train which is one of his favorites right now. What was really wonderful was when the moms were all in the kitchen sharing challenges with their kids and how they're responding. It really helped me to hear different perspectives on discipline and praying for your children in the midst of the struggles. Before we left, as a song on the piano was played Julian comes over and grabs me by the hand wanting me to dance with him. It surprised me how immediately I got really choked up and how something this simple was just so touching.

We picked Julian up from the nursery at church and they told us he was dancing with them again. Sometimes they hold his hand and other times he dances on his own. I told them how he was dancing with me earlier and they said "what a charmer". We went to McDonald's for dinner with our friends the Ane's and Connie and Nate from our life group. Julian kept taking fries off daddy's tray and it was hard getting him to eat anything else. It was great seeing Julian do so well with the Ane's daughters, 9 and 11. They just love and dote on him and he eats it up sitting in their laps or letting them carry him. He really is a charmer.

It came time to give Julian a bath and all I have to say now is "do you want to play with walrus?" and Julian goes to the stairs to go up and take a bath. He loves his bath toys and the walrus seems to be his favorite. He'd probably sit in there all night if I let him. He'll often get upset when it's time to be done so we go back and say night night to his bath toys.

Well it turns out I did have more to write about today. And now it's time to wrap up for the night.

Looking for the special in the ordinary

Today was fun. J and I were invited on a play date with a mom I met at our church's Titus group. Eileen and I decided to meet at the mall to have lunch together and then to let the boys loose in the play area. We had a nice long lunch and a good time of getting to know each other better. I loved how J did his own getting to know Jackson by turning to him a few times and clapping to see if he clapped back and when he did he'd laugh. So cute. After lunch we went to the play area but were stopped when we found out the play area was closed off for construction! We couldn't really think of any other place to go since Eileen's son Jackson isn't big enough for McDonald's play land and there aren't a lot of options so we just hung out a bit more on one of the mall benches. After chatting some more it was time to change someone's diaper and head home.

We stopped at the library to pick up some books and videos I put on hold. J just loves the library. He likes tinkering on the computers in the children's area, playing with legos, pulling out books for mommy to read to him and pulling neat looking videos off the shelf (that mommy has to put back). The only bad thing about the library is when it's time to go! He gets really upset and usually gets to tears because he just doesn't want to go. But that time inevitably comes and he survives! Today we got a few Elmo videos and a video on fire trucks. The best though is the video combining two of J's favorites - Elmo and fire trucks - in a video where Elmo gets to visit the firehouse.

The rest of the afternoon/evening was pretty slow and relaxing. I always enjoy watching L and J play and J would bring his books to daddy to read. That is precious when Julian sits on his lap and they read books together. He really enjoyed the firehouse Elmo video too.

Saturday always starts with chocolate chip pancakes. J gets excited and starts chanting "pancakes? pancakes?" and I can't make them quick enough. He gets chocolate all over his hands and face. Then he lifts up his hands and says "uh-oh" like telling mommy, uh-oh my hands are so dirty. He also loves it when I give him a taste of the batter while I'm in between pancakes. He's becoming quite good at begging as he will also say "chok-lit" over and over until I give him a chocolate chip or two. He's definitely got momma's sweet tooth.

After breakfast J again had Elmo on his mind. Now he's saying to me "Elmo watch?" letting me know he wants to watch some Elmo. So I put in the video and he'd watch a little and then run over to me on the couch, then watch a little more, then run over to me on the couch. This was new. It must've been all that chok-lit.

Later in the day we went to visit friends who live somewhat close. Since they have nice sidewalks good for walking we brought J's little push-car so we could take a walk there. Our friends ended up not being home but we got out our little car and then remembered we have other friends that live nearby who we hadn't seen in a couple years. They ended up being home and Lisa just melted when she saw us with J. I will never forget how Lisa reached out to me during my postpartum depression time. She went with me to my first therapist appointment which I was really nervous about and later gave me the most relaxing foot massage. I think it was the first time I could actually relax a bit since my break down after J's birth. That must have been within 6 months of J being born.

At their place, J was shy at first but it only took him about 5 minutes to warm up. I think the rice crackers Lisa was giving him helped. That's another one of his favorite things - crackers. We then decided to introduce J to their giant but very friendly German Shepherd and he did so well. The dog was so excited she lunged/kissed me a couple times and J got this really scared/I'm not sure about this look on his face. We think he didn't like how the dog lunged at me and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. It was a nice time of catching up.

That night was our date night. We were able to get L's old roommate to come and basically house sit since J would be in bed. We did our usual, going out to Hubbard Diner for dessert and conversation. We agree we need more date night ideas so we're not always doing the same thing. We are missing some of our in-depth conversations. We don't take the time to really catch up like that on a daily basis. I'm missing that depth of connectedness that would come when we'd keep up with each other like that. We haven't done this for a while but we're going to go through another book together. This one is called Boundaries in Marriage which we got as a wedding present 7-1/2 years ago and never read. I think it will be good. Some of the chapters deal with conflict and conflict resolution which is an area that I find challenging. I really want to have a Christ-like response with handling conflict but that's an area I often lose it. The book also gets into healthy ways to relate to one another and some that are unhealthy. Another area I'm surrendering to the Lord is my sensitivity, that I'm often quick to be defensive or get hurt easily even when it's just someone joking with me. I do this a lot with L. We talked about an area L could grow and that is in the area of giving affirmation. So we have a focus and it will be good to go through this book together and work on maintaining a deeper connection.

Sunday was a pretty ordinary day for me. Since L had plans to watch the super bowl at a friend's house we went to the early service at Blackhawk. We started a new series called Redefined. For the next three months we'll be looking at how Jesus redefined everything when he came. How things were very much turned inside out and upside down. Unfortunately I found it very hard to focus, I was so tired. I remember how the sermon started and ended but I lost a lot in between.

While L was gone watching the super bowl, J and I got to have fun together. I had the game on and he just loved watching football. He gets mixed up and calls it "baskey-ball" and he was running around and around the living room in circles and stopping to peak at the game, then running around again. We also went grocery shopping and when we got home he was my little helper again taking things out and bringing them to me. He gets so excited when he can help.

Finally, to today. In my time alone with the Lord I felt another theme being reinforced. I got a book called A Heart Like His which looks at the life and faith of David. Today's focus was on strength and tenderness. This reminded me of something I read in a book Chuck Swindoll wrote for becoming a Godly parent. What stood out to me there was his talk about discipline being gentle yet firm. I took some time to just think about this and really search my heart. I prayed and was asking the Lord that I would grow in those attributes. I find it's too easy to discipline while angry and all gentleness is forgotten, but I really see the importance of that element, gentleness (tenderness) a quality of Christ and a fruit of the spirit. Being firm is important but to go hand in hand with gentleness is powerful and honoring to the Lord. I need to learn how to do this and my prayer is the Lord would teach me situation to situation.

Julian did a lot of "Elmo watch" today and he also loves a Richard Scary library book on words. He takes it up to his nap with him and loves pointing to the pictures and saying what it is like owl, cheese, cow, pancakes, house. It's so fun to see him continuing to learn.