Back from Mini Blog Break

Well, I didn't intend to but ended up taking a short blog break not writing my "daily journal" since last Wednesday! I've realized we've entered a season of preparing, scheduling, organizing and things starting up for this fall/winter season. I've also been doing some rethinking about the format of my blog and if I want to move away from a daily journal for a time. I know many blogs I read focus on a main subject or a main happening from the day or week and I see how time consuming it can get trying to capture the details of each day. Now that I'm doing more creative theme days, I am going to try and figure out a way to do those yet continue to do some journal blogging in a shorter format.

























































Some of the highlights of the past almost-week has been getting outdoors more to enjoy this beautiful weather we've been having. Truly the summer days are waning yet it has been so nice to soak them up a bit more. Last Thursday and Monday we went to the zoo with friends from our early summer play dates (J's friends Wren and Olivia). It was a nice reunion since it's been over a month or two since we last met. It was cute seeing them so excited to play with each other again. We spent time at the zoo park and then went through the zoo together. On Monday, we added a picnic. J was really talkative as we went through visiting the different animals. He was also really interested in the zoo art which is on display; life-sized animals painted in really bright colors with different themes.











































On Monday at the zoo, we stayed a bit longer than our play date friends. From the zoo, we called my friend Eileen for the 30th birthday and J and I both sang Happy Birthday. It was so cute how he joined in. The funniest thing was she and her son were on their way to the zoo! We did stay and ended up visiting the reptile house which for some reason have not done at all with J (and I like reptiles and some of the creepy crawlies too!) I had so much fun taking J through and showing him the bees in their hive making honey while flying in and out through a long tube connecting to outside, a huge giant tortoise, the (what I consider to be) cute and furry bats, and so much more. I just love these times of being a child again and exploring. Anything having to do with what the Lord created and how intricately they work fascinates me.





























J has really been enjoying story time at the library on Fridays and is starting to sing more with the kids. He also loves to sing at home so I sing the songs from Pal Zone, library story time, CDs we've been listening to, Bible songs and often he's singing some words he knows with me. One of the projects I was busy with was reorganizing the toy area in our living room. Since we live in a condo, it's really the only place we have right now to store things he plays with daily. We do have a finished basement but it's dark with no outside light so he probably won't play there until he's older. Well, he's rediscovered a bunch of toys he hadn't been playing with because he couldn't get to them and his choices are often the musical toys. He's really into a musical nursery rhyme book of his and the cutest was hearing him sing along with the Mary Had a Little Lamb song done all in "dog".

L and I have been able to have some good time alone together. Saturday night we had a date night spending the night downtown at our alma mater's UW Madison campus. We both like middle eastern cuisine and ate at a place called Kabul where we had kabobs with rice and wonderful spices. Then we stopped at the student union for coffee drinks and talking in the comfy chairs and we ran into a college group from Blackhawk church. They were really friendly and we ended up talking for a bit. At 10pm when picking up J he was in our friend's bed with his pj's on with Cecile reading him a book. The minute we walk in he sits up saying "I'm all done sleep mommy!" even though he hadn't been sleeping. Then he was really wired and running around, even when we got home. It's that overtired stage where they don't know how to shut down. We've also been having our time to talk and pray in the morning. Today though J was up shortly after my shower but in listening on the monitor we didn't go get him until he started crying out for me. That at least left us time to pray.

At church, we're going to be focusing on 1Corinthians 13, with a goal/challenge from our pastor to memorize the chapter or specifically verses 4-8. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. In his sermon, he defined this kind of love as agape love, unconditional love. It is an uncommon love of the kind that gives regardless of what comes back in return. We are so wired to give when we get back or give for what we want to get back. It is so hard to keep giving that love when you're not receiving back. Yet it is truly what we're called to do as a follower.

I'm looking forward to this. So often I find myself with this jaded feeling in my heart toward others (while I'm out driving, shopping, out and about and even in social situations) not with a feeling of compassion and love being the norm that I'm experiencing. I think that can be for a number of reasons, but instead of dwelling on that I like focusing on the scripture and allowing the Lord to do a work in me that flows into my interactions with others. In my devotional time, I've been reading To Live is Christ by Beth Moore rotating with Uncommon Vessels; a guide to godly eating habits. The focus lately has been looking at the idea of Romans 12:1 living your life as a sacrifice and what that means. She has some really good questions that have made me think deeper on this. I see things like loving to get my own way, being spiritually lazy and a theme of not wanting to be inconvenienced as really being in my way to living more sacrificially. Being this honest with myself makes me feel "ugly" inside but I have to remind myself I have a teacher (Christ) who is a gentle and loving teacher who is showing me these things so he can impart more of himself into me. So his light can become the light shining through me. Over the past several days, I watched a movie that really hit this idea home for me. It was called Second Chance and in it was Michael W. Smith who does a really good job of acting. The main focus of the movie that struck me was how easy it is to open our wallets and give money to "serve" God, yet how different it is to actually go out and intentionally give of yourself in the community regularly. These are the things on my mind of late.

Photo credit: Grace Baptist Church

Spending date night downtown

J woke up in a "sensitive" mood today; crying because I put on sandals instead of his gym shoes and his swim suit instead of regular clothes. He just seemed a little off. So it was no surprise that he was not very happy going swimming today. He actually cried a couple times like when we were supposed to put his face underwater for the first time. He kept saying "I don't like that". J is really the only one in the class not liking it. He seems to have an independent learning style. He really seems to do okay as long as he can get used to it at his own pace and do his own thing in the water. He doesn't like the "forced" stuff which is how the class goes. Now that I have learned what his reactions are, I would have been much better off just introducing him to the water on my own instead of through a class. But I wouldn't have known that without trying. We only have 2 classes left, so after that I'll continue to work with him on my own.

In my time alone today, I continued in Luke 10. This is the famous story of the good Samaritan. I didn't remember that it starts off with an expert in the law "testing" Jesus by asking him what the way is to eternal life. Here is what he replies in verse 27: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' After that, Jesus tells the story of the good Samaritan and asks which one acted as a neighbor. Both a priest and a Levite-those you'd expect to stop-left him to lay there while the Samaritan was the one who stopped to help. This man showed mercy to a stranger lying beaten and bleeding in the road. Beth (in Jesus, the One and Only) says that God demands passionate action. Again, I can recall times when I've been moved to do something like pay for someone's groceries who is in line with me using food stamps yet I've chickened out. I pray for passionate action instead of indecision when God brings an opportunity my way.

I decided to read my Ecclesiastes study for next week (chapter 6) and here are some of the highlights. This chapter tells us that hard times can become the best years of our life. Then he moves a different direction and says that someone can have all that they desire but God does not enable him to enjoy them so he is miserable. Yet someone else can be filled with gratitude in what they have realizing it is a gift from God's hand. The key he says is that enjoyment is a gift God gives us. Also, out of adversity can come wisdom which can protect from further trouble and pain. Bottom line, no matter what our circumstances, we must learn to accept and understand God has chosen or allowed them out of love and wisdom. What he sends us is always designed to benefit. It is good to hear this again and again, because it is so easy during my day to find myself grumbling about something. Like J having some temper time or being aggravated in the car. But just the other day when I was aggravated in the car by a slow poke, I had the thought what if God is somehow protecting me from an accident? Like what if by this delay I end up not being in the way of someone who is driving reckless? OK that may not be true, but it blessed me and calmed me down.

J was hungry for lunch. He has a whole PB & J sandwich (usually he only eats half). After lunch, we stopped at the library, got some ice cream and then checked out our missionary friends' yard sale. They gave me some children's learning CD-Rom's for free. Boy, was it warm out. Over 85, sunny and barely any breeze. J liked their daughter. She was reading a book under a tree and he sat down right with her to listen then was following her around a bit.

L and I got to have a lovely date night tonight thanks to our friends from our life group. They offered to watch J anytime and he has fun playing with them and their kids. They got him a wonderful birthday gift of a Thomas the Train set with several trains and a wooden track. He was so excited he was shaking. He loves Thomas but we've only watched videos since the trains are not cheap to buy. So we left him quite happy there. We headed downtown to State Street. It is a pedestrian mall that connects the state capital with the UW Madison campus. It is great just to walk and talk and the night was nice as it started to cool off. We decided on a new Indian restaurant (new to us) that was a bit of a walk which was good. Out of our time we decided we'd like to have a deeper focus in our relationship on how we are doing, how things are really going. In the past, it has helped to go through some type of relationship book together so we're thinking about doing that. It has been a really good conversation starter and it's helped us to keep communication flowing in our strong and weak areas. J was waiting at the door when we got back and was really excited to see us and show us what he was playing with. We ended up hanging out for a while and talking. Then we realized it was getting late although J was still wide awake. And now I'm starting to fade so I'm going to wrap things up.

ABC's and 1-2-3's

Had J's second swimming lesson today. He wasn't as excited today as he was last week. His face seemed to say the water was colder than he liked and he seemed to have more fear this time about getting his face wet. He did like it when they brought out the toys to play with. Daddy was with us this time and they were throwing the ball back and forth. He also liked it when he got to "jump" from the side into my arms. Kept saying, "again?" but then wasn't happy when we'd go back to moving him in different positions. It will probably just take him a while to really get used to it.

In my devotional time today I read further in the book on Ecclesiastes (Is This All There Is). We are all looking for the secret to finding what delights us; the secret to contentment. Solomon, David's son, is the speaker in Ecclesiastes. He finds that there is nothing in and of itself that can bring contentment; that pleasure is fleeting. He asks, "What does pleasure accomplish?" Verse 10: I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work. Yet everything was meaningless, chasing after the wind. There was only momentary enjoyment.

I also started Luke 5. Jesus calls his disciples. What did they do when called? They got up, left everything and followed him. Could I have done that? Really? It is hard to imagine, yet that's what he was calling them to do. Beth shares how amazing it is that the Lord calls mere mortals to join him in his work. Being divine, he had the power to do it all himself, yet he desires that we join him. She says every person who believes has been summoned by Christ, they have been called. She introduces the idea that Jesus is working in every area of our lives. We tend to limit his true influence by thinking he's only working in an area visible to us. She brings up verse 23 in Colossians 3: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. That is something I need to keep in front of me. In all I do, to set my heart on doing it for the Lord. Sometimes in my heart I grumble or complain when I think L isn't doing enough with J or enough at home. It ends up taking away the joy it could give me to picture I'm doing the work I do for the Lord.

It was another cold and rainy day today so after lunch we played inside. We had a lot of fun reading his new book with sound buttons. The book has pictures of things that make sounds (a bird, a cricket, a water faucet) and you press the picture to hear its sound. We must have spent a good half hour reading over this book and pressing all the buttons. Later we spent some time at the library. We found a counting book and J was holding onto my finger and then pointing my finger at the pictures while he counted. It is so cute watching him learn 1 to 10. He found an ABC book that had little windows that opened and closed where different letters with pictures were hiding. These are two things he's focusing a lot on lately.

Our friends were kind enough to watch J so hubby and I could have a nice night out together. Thankfully, J loves playing at their house and was content to be there. We had a nice dinner at an Indian restaurant (Taste of India) and then parked the car near campus and sat and talked. Mostly about things we're focusing on right now in our lives and what the Lord is doing. L will have a couple days off next week so that'll be nice. Some of it he'll spend on his own since that's the way he really recharges his batteries. For some reason, J was fascinated with my eyebrows tonight. As I held him while saying prayers, he kept tracing my eyebrows with his tiny finger. He'd go from one eyebrow to the next and then back again. It was funny! He didn't say anything so for whatever reason they intrigued him tonight. Well, now it's time to go bring in a few plants so they don't get hit by FROST tonight! It is really cold out.

Meal-time melt downs

This morning Julian was wanting food faster than I could get it made which set off another bout of crying. At this stage, he really has an incredibly hard time waiting for anything. Maybe it's just being a toddler. When I finally did get his pancake, he ate a few bites but kept wanting the bigger pancake on the plate. When that didn't come and he was told to eat what was on his plate, he really melted down. Instead of just having him sit in his chair crying, I carried him upstairs to his room and set him in his crib to settle down. I didn't hear a peep once I did that and waited about 10 minutes or so and then he was fine. We stayed upstairs a while as he had several books he wanted to read. We went back to his pancake and he ate just fine then.

Today I was in 2Samuel 18. The conflict with Absalom continues. David sent out his troops in hundreds and thousands ordering them before they left to be gentle with Absalom. Beth reflects that this must have deflated his men who were risking their lives to defend David only to be told to lay off Absalom who was responsible for them fighting in the first place. Joab ended up with an opportunity to kill Absalom when a soldier found him with his head caught in a tree. The solider refused to touch him because of David's orders, but Joab and his armor bearers killed him. When David learned of this he went into mourning.

I'm continuing to finish my study of Esther. As the Jews found out about Haman's decree to have them all destroyed, there was great mourning with fasting and weeping as many sought God's divine intervention. Esther was wrestling with whether to risk her life and approach the king on the Jew's behalf when Mordecai reminds her that she too is a Jew and would be killed. He also says perhaps she rose to the position of queen for just this reason. She then asks Mordecai to gather the Jews in fasting for 3 days and then she will approach the king whether or not she will be killed. Here I notice how Esther has a major situation come up. Instead of just going along with what someone else wants, she wrestles with it herself first. She seeks council and then decides to trust the Lord. It is a good example for us of what to do when we are faced with a struggle.

We had another difficult meal time with Julian. He started out okay but somehow ended up crying again. This time I can't even remember what set it off. But again it was nonstop so I took him upstairs and let him settle in his crib. This seems to be working. He didn't end up eating anything else afterward, but his mood had completely changed. We got a late start but still made it for some time at the library. He had a shorter nap as I needed to get him fed before we left for our friends house. They offered to watch him while we get some time alone. This is the first time my husband and I have gone out to dinner in months. We ended up going to a Thai place and then hung out after to share with each other what's been going on in our inner spiritual life. We ended up staying at our friends' house for a couple hours celebrating our friend getting tenure. They had a nice fire in the fireplace which Julian had not seen before. It was nice to have some social time after the week I had where I had so little social contact with everything that happened. Now I have some time to do a bit of reading before I go to bed which will be a nice way to wind down.

Looking for the special in the ordinary

Today was fun. J and I were invited on a play date with a mom I met at our church's Titus group. Eileen and I decided to meet at the mall to have lunch together and then to let the boys loose in the play area. We had a nice long lunch and a good time of getting to know each other better. I loved how J did his own getting to know Jackson by turning to him a few times and clapping to see if he clapped back and when he did he'd laugh. So cute. After lunch we went to the play area but were stopped when we found out the play area was closed off for construction! We couldn't really think of any other place to go since Eileen's son Jackson isn't big enough for McDonald's play land and there aren't a lot of options so we just hung out a bit more on one of the mall benches. After chatting some more it was time to change someone's diaper and head home.

We stopped at the library to pick up some books and videos I put on hold. J just loves the library. He likes tinkering on the computers in the children's area, playing with legos, pulling out books for mommy to read to him and pulling neat looking videos off the shelf (that mommy has to put back). The only bad thing about the library is when it's time to go! He gets really upset and usually gets to tears because he just doesn't want to go. But that time inevitably comes and he survives! Today we got a few Elmo videos and a video on fire trucks. The best though is the video combining two of J's favorites - Elmo and fire trucks - in a video where Elmo gets to visit the firehouse.

The rest of the afternoon/evening was pretty slow and relaxing. I always enjoy watching L and J play and J would bring his books to daddy to read. That is precious when Julian sits on his lap and they read books together. He really enjoyed the firehouse Elmo video too.

Saturday always starts with chocolate chip pancakes. J gets excited and starts chanting "pancakes? pancakes?" and I can't make them quick enough. He gets chocolate all over his hands and face. Then he lifts up his hands and says "uh-oh" like telling mommy, uh-oh my hands are so dirty. He also loves it when I give him a taste of the batter while I'm in between pancakes. He's becoming quite good at begging as he will also say "chok-lit" over and over until I give him a chocolate chip or two. He's definitely got momma's sweet tooth.

After breakfast J again had Elmo on his mind. Now he's saying to me "Elmo watch?" letting me know he wants to watch some Elmo. So I put in the video and he'd watch a little and then run over to me on the couch, then watch a little more, then run over to me on the couch. This was new. It must've been all that chok-lit.

Later in the day we went to visit friends who live somewhat close. Since they have nice sidewalks good for walking we brought J's little push-car so we could take a walk there. Our friends ended up not being home but we got out our little car and then remembered we have other friends that live nearby who we hadn't seen in a couple years. They ended up being home and Lisa just melted when she saw us with J. I will never forget how Lisa reached out to me during my postpartum depression time. She went with me to my first therapist appointment which I was really nervous about and later gave me the most relaxing foot massage. I think it was the first time I could actually relax a bit since my break down after J's birth. That must have been within 6 months of J being born.

At their place, J was shy at first but it only took him about 5 minutes to warm up. I think the rice crackers Lisa was giving him helped. That's another one of his favorite things - crackers. We then decided to introduce J to their giant but very friendly German Shepherd and he did so well. The dog was so excited she lunged/kissed me a couple times and J got this really scared/I'm not sure about this look on his face. We think he didn't like how the dog lunged at me and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. It was a nice time of catching up.

That night was our date night. We were able to get L's old roommate to come and basically house sit since J would be in bed. We did our usual, going out to Hubbard Diner for dessert and conversation. We agree we need more date night ideas so we're not always doing the same thing. We are missing some of our in-depth conversations. We don't take the time to really catch up like that on a daily basis. I'm missing that depth of connectedness that would come when we'd keep up with each other like that. We haven't done this for a while but we're going to go through another book together. This one is called Boundaries in Marriage which we got as a wedding present 7-1/2 years ago and never read. I think it will be good. Some of the chapters deal with conflict and conflict resolution which is an area that I find challenging. I really want to have a Christ-like response with handling conflict but that's an area I often lose it. The book also gets into healthy ways to relate to one another and some that are unhealthy. Another area I'm surrendering to the Lord is my sensitivity, that I'm often quick to be defensive or get hurt easily even when it's just someone joking with me. I do this a lot with L. We talked about an area L could grow and that is in the area of giving affirmation. So we have a focus and it will be good to go through this book together and work on maintaining a deeper connection.

Sunday was a pretty ordinary day for me. Since L had plans to watch the super bowl at a friend's house we went to the early service at Blackhawk. We started a new series called Redefined. For the next three months we'll be looking at how Jesus redefined everything when he came. How things were very much turned inside out and upside down. Unfortunately I found it very hard to focus, I was so tired. I remember how the sermon started and ended but I lost a lot in between.

While L was gone watching the super bowl, J and I got to have fun together. I had the game on and he just loved watching football. He gets mixed up and calls it "baskey-ball" and he was running around and around the living room in circles and stopping to peak at the game, then running around again. We also went grocery shopping and when we got home he was my little helper again taking things out and bringing them to me. He gets so excited when he can help.

Finally, to today. In my time alone with the Lord I felt another theme being reinforced. I got a book called A Heart Like His which looks at the life and faith of David. Today's focus was on strength and tenderness. This reminded me of something I read in a book Chuck Swindoll wrote for becoming a Godly parent. What stood out to me there was his talk about discipline being gentle yet firm. I took some time to just think about this and really search my heart. I prayed and was asking the Lord that I would grow in those attributes. I find it's too easy to discipline while angry and all gentleness is forgotten, but I really see the importance of that element, gentleness (tenderness) a quality of Christ and a fruit of the spirit. Being firm is important but to go hand in hand with gentleness is powerful and honoring to the Lord. I need to learn how to do this and my prayer is the Lord would teach me situation to situation.

Julian did a lot of "Elmo watch" today and he also loves a Richard Scary library book on words. He takes it up to his nap with him and loves pointing to the pictures and saying what it is like owl, cheese, cow, pancakes, house. It's so fun to see him continuing to learn.