The Power of Prayer

Today was yet another cloudy day, but this time warmer going up into the low 60's. Daddy had the day off and we kicked back with nothing on the agenda. One thing I did with J was watching some Sesame Street video clips on counting 1-10. I'm trying to teach him how to count on his fingers but he doesn't get that yet. I think he liked our fireman game last night as he put on his fireman's hat and ran around rescuing kitty. This time daddy got a picture of it. He also liked dancing around with his musical toy that sings "wheels on the bus". He did that over and over. Of course, we also read some books.

During my devotional time, I continued in Luke 7, Jesus and the widow's son. He and his disciples and a large crowd went to the town of Nain. It seems now wherever Jesus goes there is a crowd. In this town, he saw a widow whose dead son was being carried out of the town. This was the widow's only son. His heart went out to her and he told her not to cry. Here I read this as Jesus isn't saying don't cry, there there, it'll be OK, he's saying don't cry for there won't be a need for sorrow. He touched the boy's coffin and commanded him to get up and he did. Jesus reached out in his compassion and raised him to life. The people were filled with awe and praised God. (I would too!) This news about Jesus spread throughout the countryside. As I'm reading this, I just notice how many short stories there are of Jesus and his healing that I don't remember. Some of them just aren't talked about very often. It has been really good to read this slowly and let them soak in.

Daddy had some rare alone time with J while I went to my women's bible study. We had a good discussion on chapter 2 of Ecclesiastes about the meaningless pursuit of pleasure. To sum up the pursuit of pleasure, we discussed how pleasure is fleeting. Nothing lasts. Yet there is a pleasure and contentment that does last, and it is only found in Christ. It is from the hand of God. I shared with the group that before I found Christ, I remember having this thought that my life will just add up to be a long series of events; one after another and one memory after another with no meaning. That changed when I found the Lord. Instead I have this peace, this contentment in knowing that this life is but a stage and I am just passing through; that my real life begins in eternity when I will see God face to face. That to me is inspiring. We also discussed how Solomon concludes that wisdom is better than folly, but both share the same fate of death so he finds the pursuit meaningless.

We had Dave, one of our babysitters, over for dinner tonight. We got to use J's new scoop bib since we had messy spaghetti and it did a great job of catching the spills. Dave will stay with J while we go to an equipping session at church. We were invited to be prayer givers as the church enters a forgiveness sermon series. If anyone wants prayer after the service, we will be at tables in the back to pray with them. For a couple years, we were part of a prayer group that met at 6am Tuesday mornings to pray for the church. Since the group ended, they haven't had a prayer ministry but now they will be laying a foundation for the prayer ministry through this. It was a good reminder of the power of prayer in a person's life. I can still remember clearly a time I went up for prayer and what an impact it had on me what the person shared. I'm thankful to be a part of it yet I'm battling some feelings of nervousness too. Thoughts like, what if my mind goes blank or I can't think of anything to pray. I know this is another opportunity to just trust the Lord and he will do the work through me so when the thoughts come I just lay them down and won't dwell on them. I saw some familiar faces at the training session, a couple of whom I hadn't seen since J was born but they had partnered in prayer for me and L during that time. They were so happy to see I was doing well and it was so good to see them.

When we got home, J was waiting at the door with his huge smile and quickly took me to where he was playing and showed me his cars. When Dave left, J wanted to go outside so I showed him it was dark but he really wanted to so we waved goodbye to Dave, got a little fresh air then tucked J into bed. Mommy may be able to tuck herself in before 10:30 tonight so I better wrap up here.

We like our books and a taste of Africa

This morning turned out to be a little book reading fest for Julian. He brought one book after another for me to read to him for the better part of one hour. He couldn't get enough of reading. Then he picked up the CD of bible songs and says "Jesus, Jesus" over and over so we played that for a while and we even got him dancing a bit.

I am continuing in my book on (King) David by Beth Moore (A Heart Like His). Today the reading was in Psalm 142 when David was hiding from Saul in a cave. It says he cried out to the Lord, he poured out his complaint to him, "before him I tell my trouble". What came to mind was another passage, 1Peter 5:7 that says "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." David was pouring his heart out to the Lord in a time of deep despair. Again I see how David, whenever he is overwhelmed or anxious, prays. He brings his troubles to the Lord. While I was in my depression sometimes that was all I could do; pray and bring my troubles to the Lord even when day to day things didn't change. I think Beth Moore is right on track when she says that God honors us when go to him and tell him exactly how we feel. God always responds to our cry for help, even if we're not seeing it.

We had some time at the library today to refresh our stash of books. Julian had a great time entertaining himself with puzzles, blocks, "reading" a few books and playing with a little train set while daddy sat by him reading and I was off browsing.

I wasn't prepared for what happened later in the afternoon. I was getting ready for a friend to come over for dinner. This is someone we met at church from Nigeria who wanted to cook us a meal in our home. I was straightening up the area where Julian plays, the kitchen, etc. when I decided to put on some music. I have a stereo "juke box" that holds a lot of CDs so I wasn't sure what would come on when I hit play. It was like getting the wind knocked out of me when my "Sing over Me" Christian lullaby CD came on with the song "How great is our God". Immediately I am in a flashback listening to this CD just after having my C-section when Julian was born when it brought such serenity. Then my mind flashed to Portage WI where I lived with my in-laws for a time who helped care for Julian when I was deep in postpartum depression and this CD was one of the only things that brought any sense of peace. Then I flashed to times when the depression dragged on and I would try in vain to connect with God through this CD yet I could not shake the feelings of bleakness and meaninglessness of life that I was shrouded in. I just sat there in the living room this afternoon and let the tears stream down my face as I was awash once again with the realization of the depths of the pit that the Lord pulled me out of - the darkness he set me free from. The tears were a bit sad, but also being so moved by this.

I had to come back to the task at hand and finished my cleaning and then I got Julian up from his afternoon nap. He has been practicing putting his socks on every time he wakes up from a nap now. He sits in the crib and stretches out his legs. I am just delighted as I watch him stretch the sock over his little toes. He usually catches his big toe in the sock and lets go so the sock hangs on his foot. Then he looks up at me with his wide grin. He's so happy to be doing it even just a little bit and I am alongside him just beaming.

So our friend Efosa came over with all the fixings for cooking a Nigerian meal of fried rice. Our kitchen was filled with the wonderful smell of exotic spices while he cooked. He had us hang out and relax while he was busy in the kitchen. The meal was wonderful and we were impressed that Julian loved it too. We weren't sure if he'd even eat it since it was plenty spicy. He did do a bit of rubbing his mouth and I would say "spicy, spicy" letting him know where that feeling was coming from. The conversation was good too as Efosa wanted to hear the story of how Lanty and I met and we got to know more about him, his three siblings and his somewhat new relationship. Julian was starting to have meltdowns a little bit after Efosa left so we knew it was time to call it a night. I think that's my cue too for calling it a day.

Holding onto precious moments

This blog entry will mesh the highlights of the past several days. On Saturday when I got Julian up, the first thing he wanted to do was read his book. He's been bringing a book up to bed with him now and so this morning we read The Poky Little Puppy. This is one of his current favorites. He also likes Richard Scarry's "Best Word Book Ever". Then we went downstairs for our Saturday morning pancakes and of course he has to get a few tastes of the batter and a couple chocolate chips.

Something I'll add here that I've forgotten about is another little milestone. He's started to say "diaper, diaper" when he has a messy diaper. Someone told me this is the first step towards starting potty training! It's great too for us to know right when he needs to be changed. It was a reminder to me of how he is growing and developing so fast. I have to hold onto his precious moments and savor them!

Later in the day we went to the Verona library again. He played with the trains and then saw a wall hanging with Clifford and he kept saying "Clifford, Clifford?" so I found him a Clifford book. He was so content sitting in the chair just "reading" to himself which gave me time to browse for more books for him.

This was unusual, today he didn't want his afternoon nap. Normally when I say it's nap time or time to go night night he heads for the stairs but today he just wanted his book and was a little fussy. He did finally go down. While he napped I did my menu planning for the upcoming week. This takes a good chunk of time but it has really worked out well for us to have all our meals for the week planned out in advance.

My quiet time today was 1 Samuel 14 where we meet Jonathan, Saul's son. He shows great faith in God in going with his armor bearer to look for a sign that God will fight for them and God did. They had a great victory that day. Jonathan's faith is encouraging. He stepped out trusting that God would assist them in what they were up to. I also took some time to read a card I got from a friend who referred to Psalm 103. I looked it up and took some time to read it and take it in. One of the lines is "Praise the Lord and forget not all his benefits." I took that verse and just started listing the benefits the Lord has blessed me with in my life. It was good to sit and take some time to think about that. There really are so many ways he has blessed us. Healed of depression, enjoying Julian, able to be a stay at home mom. Those are just a few. This was a good psalm to read and just let the words penetrate.

Sunday (Valentines Day) was really just another day for us! We get each other cards but other than that we don't do anything special. We're a little boring I think! I didn't think of it this year in time, but next year I'll do something special for Julian, my little valentine. On this morning Julian wanted me to read his Richard Scarry word book when he woke up.

I was reading 1Samuel 17 today. This is the famous story of David and Goliath. I wasn't sure if I'd get anything new out of it but I did. I saw David having more confidence in God's word than in the opinion's of others. This one stands out to me since I often fall into the pattern of putting too much value in other's opinions or what other people think. David knew God had brought him victory in the past defeating a lion and a bear while he was caring for the sheep so he trusted that God would bring him victory over Goliath. Saul even offered David heavy armor but since he wasn't used to it he refused it. It also struck me that David had an intense anger that this Philistine had been allowed to defy God for the past 40 days and no one had done anything about it. David's heart burned and he used simple things (sling shot & smooth rock) and faith in God and Goliath was defeated in an instant. I admire his passion here.

It was really nice outside so Julian and I went for a walk around the neighborhood in his little car. It was so nice and refreshing to get out in the fresh air and the warm sun was shining so bright. I can't wait until it gets a little warmer and we can take more walks like this.

Later in church we met up with a couple who are from France and they lead our small group which meets Tuesday nights. We're studying Luke and this week the focus was on Jesus reaching out to the poor, the marginal or outcasts of society. The challenge to us was to see if we're doing that in our own life and if not to see how we can. After church we ate at McDonald's. Their 10 & 12 year old girls were very taken with Julian and he didn't mind the attention a bit. They enjoyed entertaining and watching him which allowed the grown ups to have some catch up and planning time for our small group.

Monday was a lazy day. We watched Elmo and the firehouse in the morning. In my time alone reading Samuel, the study spent time looking at the love of Jonathan (Saul's son) for David. He was selfless in this love, not a love that expects something in return. I saw into my heart here how with Lanty I'll often have the good intention of doing something loving, but then if it's not acknowledged I will sometimes get upset. So there I'm expecting something in return. I see that I do this with other people in my life too, not just Lanty. It's a challenge to just love like that, without expectation.

I had a fun time of coloring with Julian in the afternoon. We also watched Veggie Tales "God Made You Special" and something about it touched my heart. I think sometimes I just need to be reminded of that!

Later we went to the YMCA where they know us well and when we picked him up one of the ladies said Julian was really talkative today. Someone said "Wow, he's just a baby, he's not supposed to talk that much!" We're hearing that more often lately, that Julian talks a lot. We did some more practice with Julian walking/following us but today he was all about checking things out and going slow so we had to pick him up a couple times to keep him going.

Something cute was while getting ready for bed he kept pulling off his socks so he could try to put them on. I would encourage him and then he would get the sock over his big toe and look up at me with this wide grin like "there". He'd keep doing that and just practiced and practiced. Then he also tried to do a little bit of helping get his pajama pants on too. This is new.

Finally to Tuesday. At Toddler Time at the library the big thing today was when the librarian brought out a parachute. We had a great time lifting it up and down, bouncing balls on it, then holding it up so the kids could stand underneath it. Julian had fun.

I didn't have fun checking out at the counter. The woman was pretty cold and I won't get into it but we went back and forth about a fine on a damaged book that I was already aware of. Well I wasn't able to just let it go and I was stewing over it and on the way to the car a curse word squeaked out and of course who says what I just said but Julian. Yikes! My bad. My heart was so hard in my anger and it wasn't until later when I got home that I was able to turn it over to the Lord and ask forgiveness for that.

We went to "our" library in the afternoon (we've been library hopping!) and hung out for a little bit. This library is the one closest to us, right in our neighborhood but it has the least amount of "kid stuff". I found some fun movies for Julian and had a few things on hold to get.

Later in the day I was touched by something my friend told me. She'd been struggling the week before and asked for prayer so Lanty and I were praying for her. She said it was amazing how she was having these negative thoughts and kept repeating them over and over and felt stuck and was really down, then after those two days Lanty and I were praying she felt it lift, it just went away. She said for her it was really a testimony of the power of prayer, and of reaching out to others when we need help. That was good counsel.