The Last Shall Be First....

I'm not really sure where to start today with this new blogging format (not blogging in a "daily journal" format but more of a summary of highlights and not every day). What's most on my mind is being really out of sync because J's "schedule" the last couple days has been really off. I can see how having a basic schedule is so helpful for both of us, and how hard it can be when it's off. So over the weekend J got up earlier than normal. It was 6:30am Friday and 4:30am Saturday when usually he's getting up between 7:30/8:30am. He did go back to sleep a bit on Saturday but his afternoon naps have been late and he's been really ornery and difficult from dinner time on. He was crying at the drop of a hat and even fighting going to sleep which is rare. I went through four cycles of putting him to bed, crying nonstop, soothing and putting back to bed, sleeping finally after 10pm. We've been so blessed that he doesn't usually fight sleep, so I can't complain. Somehow I just think his little internal clock was off a bit. Meal time has been a bit harder too with J getting less sleep than normal. Today, things seem to be pretty much back to normal with no major breakdowns or sleep issues. Yay!

As far as the past several days, his time at Pal Zone stood out. That's a play group that we go to on Wednesdays with open play, circle/story time, songs and a craft. I'm glad I decided to change my schedule around so we can keep going. I realized how much I've seen him grow through this with open play time with a lot of different kids and structured activities to follow. We also get together with two other moms and their little girls usually every Monday. This also has been great for them learning how to share and play together. The moms get some good adult time. We also do some craft projects too.

I was excited to start up again in our mom's Titus group at church. I've been asked to be a greeter and open doors for moms as they come in. I enjoyed doing this and was blessed later by the mentor mom who was our keynote speaker. Barb shared a great story about moving out of our comfort zones and learning more about being stretched in trusting the Lord for how things will turn out.

My husband's good friend lost his mom this week. She was a wonderful southern gal and passionate Christian who lived to the age of 92. We made the decision to take J to her funeral, which was the first one he's been to. He kept asking what we were doing and where we were and it was a bit hard for him to understand. He met Wilda before and so I explained we were there to celebrate Wilda's life who had left here to go to heaven to be with Jesus. The only time we've talked about death was after our cat Rio died, so I was able to remind him of that and I think he started to get it when he said, "now there's 2 of them in heaven". He was very curious about the cemetery and was looking at the grave stones like ones with photos and picture engravings. He wasn't disruptive at all which was such a blessing. Although, we did sit far away from the main area during the service at the funeral home since J is still learning to use an "inside" voice.


We have had a few days of wonderful weather this week, and Friday night was just beautiful. We didn't even need jackets and we spent most of the evening downtown. The three of us had dinner then walked along State Street and to our student union. Today (Monday) started out a little cold and drizzly but then ended up being beautiful with the sun coming out and reaching over 70 degrees. Just perfect.

Devotional Time
My time with the Lord, although it hasn't been every day, has been good. I'm really seeing a theme coming up over and over again and I sense the Lord speaking loudly! I'm trying to have the ears to listen. Matthew 19:30 But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

First, what's interesting to me is that I don't remember my mom quoting a lot from the bible yet this verse is one I remember her saying so often. Yet even then I never understood it. Part of how I think God is instructing me is like my heart is being tested to see what's there when literally I am "last" in something, or inconvenienced/not "first" or getting my way. I relate getting my way in things to being "first". There were three times in one day that it hit me I was "last" in something that I wanted to be "first" in and how uptight and even angry I got about it. Yet I caught myself when I found this verse coming in to my head and I'm asking the Lord to keep teaching me. I just love when I sense the Lord's hand like this, yet it is a bit overwhelming right now to see how often this comes up for me. This is another verse that has come to mind that I am studying as I seek to gain wisdom. Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Lastly, somehow our camera has gone missing. I last used it Thursday night and I found out on Sunday that I cannot find it anywhere! It is such an integral part of how I'm documenting our life and a huge part of the blog. I really hope it shows up. This is the actually the second time I'll be without a camera so I'll have to figure something out soon. In the meantime, at least at home I'll be able to use my husband's camera but it's an expensive one so I won't be toting it anywhere.

Photo credit: Journeying Down Life's Never-ending Road

Back from Mini Blog Break

Well, I didn't intend to but ended up taking a short blog break not writing my "daily journal" since last Wednesday! I've realized we've entered a season of preparing, scheduling, organizing and things starting up for this fall/winter season. I've also been doing some rethinking about the format of my blog and if I want to move away from a daily journal for a time. I know many blogs I read focus on a main subject or a main happening from the day or week and I see how time consuming it can get trying to capture the details of each day. Now that I'm doing more creative theme days, I am going to try and figure out a way to do those yet continue to do some journal blogging in a shorter format.

























































Some of the highlights of the past almost-week has been getting outdoors more to enjoy this beautiful weather we've been having. Truly the summer days are waning yet it has been so nice to soak them up a bit more. Last Thursday and Monday we went to the zoo with friends from our early summer play dates (J's friends Wren and Olivia). It was a nice reunion since it's been over a month or two since we last met. It was cute seeing them so excited to play with each other again. We spent time at the zoo park and then went through the zoo together. On Monday, we added a picnic. J was really talkative as we went through visiting the different animals. He was also really interested in the zoo art which is on display; life-sized animals painted in really bright colors with different themes.











































On Monday at the zoo, we stayed a bit longer than our play date friends. From the zoo, we called my friend Eileen for the 30th birthday and J and I both sang Happy Birthday. It was so cute how he joined in. The funniest thing was she and her son were on their way to the zoo! We did stay and ended up visiting the reptile house which for some reason have not done at all with J (and I like reptiles and some of the creepy crawlies too!) I had so much fun taking J through and showing him the bees in their hive making honey while flying in and out through a long tube connecting to outside, a huge giant tortoise, the (what I consider to be) cute and furry bats, and so much more. I just love these times of being a child again and exploring. Anything having to do with what the Lord created and how intricately they work fascinates me.





























J has really been enjoying story time at the library on Fridays and is starting to sing more with the kids. He also loves to sing at home so I sing the songs from Pal Zone, library story time, CDs we've been listening to, Bible songs and often he's singing some words he knows with me. One of the projects I was busy with was reorganizing the toy area in our living room. Since we live in a condo, it's really the only place we have right now to store things he plays with daily. We do have a finished basement but it's dark with no outside light so he probably won't play there until he's older. Well, he's rediscovered a bunch of toys he hadn't been playing with because he couldn't get to them and his choices are often the musical toys. He's really into a musical nursery rhyme book of his and the cutest was hearing him sing along with the Mary Had a Little Lamb song done all in "dog".

L and I have been able to have some good time alone together. Saturday night we had a date night spending the night downtown at our alma mater's UW Madison campus. We both like middle eastern cuisine and ate at a place called Kabul where we had kabobs with rice and wonderful spices. Then we stopped at the student union for coffee drinks and talking in the comfy chairs and we ran into a college group from Blackhawk church. They were really friendly and we ended up talking for a bit. At 10pm when picking up J he was in our friend's bed with his pj's on with Cecile reading him a book. The minute we walk in he sits up saying "I'm all done sleep mommy!" even though he hadn't been sleeping. Then he was really wired and running around, even when we got home. It's that overtired stage where they don't know how to shut down. We've also been having our time to talk and pray in the morning. Today though J was up shortly after my shower but in listening on the monitor we didn't go get him until he started crying out for me. That at least left us time to pray.

At church, we're going to be focusing on 1Corinthians 13, with a goal/challenge from our pastor to memorize the chapter or specifically verses 4-8. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. In his sermon, he defined this kind of love as agape love, unconditional love. It is an uncommon love of the kind that gives regardless of what comes back in return. We are so wired to give when we get back or give for what we want to get back. It is so hard to keep giving that love when you're not receiving back. Yet it is truly what we're called to do as a follower.

I'm looking forward to this. So often I find myself with this jaded feeling in my heart toward others (while I'm out driving, shopping, out and about and even in social situations) not with a feeling of compassion and love being the norm that I'm experiencing. I think that can be for a number of reasons, but instead of dwelling on that I like focusing on the scripture and allowing the Lord to do a work in me that flows into my interactions with others. In my devotional time, I've been reading To Live is Christ by Beth Moore rotating with Uncommon Vessels; a guide to godly eating habits. The focus lately has been looking at the idea of Romans 12:1 living your life as a sacrifice and what that means. She has some really good questions that have made me think deeper on this. I see things like loving to get my own way, being spiritually lazy and a theme of not wanting to be inconvenienced as really being in my way to living more sacrificially. Being this honest with myself makes me feel "ugly" inside but I have to remind myself I have a teacher (Christ) who is a gentle and loving teacher who is showing me these things so he can impart more of himself into me. So his light can become the light shining through me. Over the past several days, I watched a movie that really hit this idea home for me. It was called Second Chance and in it was Michael W. Smith who does a really good job of acting. The main focus of the movie that struck me was how easy it is to open our wallets and give money to "serve" God, yet how different it is to actually go out and intentionally give of yourself in the community regularly. These are the things on my mind of late.

Photo credit: Grace Baptist Church

Sharing the highlights

Weds/Thurs Highlights

WEDNESDAY...

• J continued to enjoy playing with his Alphabet floor mat.

• Went to Pal Zone and was pleasantly surprised that my friend Eileen came with her son Jackson. I didn't even have any major squabbles to referee with J and the other kids. In fact, he played with a boy, Liam, who he chased around last time. At circle time when they do a round-robin asking the children their names the kids come up and put their name tag on a board. J said his name for the first time when it was his turn. Usually he would stay quiet and I'd say his name. He made a book today for the craft and his was all about firemen, fire trucks, hoses and more fire trucks.

• Went to Bean Sprouts Cafe for lunch thinking it was kids eat free day. Turns out that was Monday but still stayed to eat. Such a great place with a kids play area (kitchen, chalk board, coloring books and crayons). The boys liked going in and out of the "kiddie door" which is a really short entrance door for kids. Eileen and I had some great catch up time.

• Stopped at the library to pick up some holds and let J play for a bit. Found a few new books of elephants and J really excited.

• Went to Culver's so daddy could have dinner. (J and I already ate thinking we were going to the Y that night but the Y was closed for maintenance.) J was so funny picking up our number card and putting it over his face and acting silly.

• Visited our nephew at his dorm the night before his first day of college classes. Went down memory lane as this dorm is one I had friends in and that L stayed in when he was in college. J had fun seeing Zach and telling him all about his new Jungle Book that we brought along.

THURSDAY.....

• My friend Eileen was back in Madison today and we met up at the library. The boys played for probably an hour. J got in a little squabble over the trains which almost always happens. Everything he picks up is "mine". Stopped at McD's after and the kids played in the play land area.

• Let J watch some of Little Einstein's Fire Truck Rocket.

• Had some arts and crafts fun. Took shaving cream mixed with food coloring and let J finger paint. He kept saying "my hands are dirty mommy" and did one painting then we moved to his new Dot Paints. We each did a few paintings and then he traced over the smiley face I made with his paint. He had a ball playing with the paint caps naming the colors and stacking them.

• Found another meal J is into. My tuna casserole this time had cheese whiz in it and I think that was the key. He's been OK with it before, but this time he ate one bowl then asked for another.

• Read a few books and then daddy gave him a bath before bed.

QUIET TIME:
For the last 2 days, I've been going through my new book Uncommon Vessels (developing godly eating habits). She had a list of some really good questions to start out with like:

1. Am I modeling good eating habits?
2. Can I eat this with thanks and gratitude?
3. Does eating this cause an inroad to sin?
4. In my eating and drinking am I glorifying God?

This is a whole new mindset as I really don't think about these things while I'm eating. I'm excited about it though, because this is exactly the direction I want to go. The main thing is that as I seek to follow the Lord, I want to have every area of my life involved in that. Not just pieces or parts. So eating is a huge part of my life. I've finally come to a point where I can't ignore anymore that my eating is out of control. (Oh, that is hard to confess!) Yet, I'm hopeful in that I believe I am now going to work on the heart issues around it. In Galatians 5:22-23, it talks about the fruit of the Spirit (i.e. what one will exemplify by the power of the Holy Spirit's work in a believer) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. What I'm working to develop here is a spirit of self-control in my eating/exercising habits. One thing she says is that nothing will cause your spiritual growth like consistent, daily prayer so I spent some time today asking the Lord to guide me in this area and to fill me with His strength.

More words for Wednesday

(Tuesday)
This morning, I was able to have catch up and pray time with L before J woke up. He was up much earlier, around 8:30. Our big outing today was late morning we went to go get groceries. It did end up being a long outing (too long) I think since I'm trying to get all my main shopping done at one place. I used to get non-grocery things from Target but I realized every time I went, what should have been a $50 excursion was ending up sometimes at a $150 excursion! It was a good thing that I found a notebook in the start of shopping. I like to keep journals and this is a nice, smaller chunky one. J had to bring his crayons along but I only let him bring 2 so I let him color in the notebook. He was so content just coloring the whole time. Now his crayons did keep on dropping, but picking them up over and over was the price of peace in the shopping cart. After shopping we had some open play time. A couple highlights: He picked his Little People to play with. Then I noticed him getting out his fire trucks and lining them up along the couch. He started talking for the Little People saying, "I'm sitting in my fire truck. Everybody ready to go?" Then he answered with another little person, "Yeah! We're ready to go!" He did this a few times, it was so cute. Soon after, he came running to me asking to watch the DVD Mighty Machines. He wanted the fire truck segment. Then when that was over he wanted to watch the garbage truck segment again.

After dinner, we went to the Verona library. J ran over to the self-check out and climbed the stool asking for my help. He was talking about the pirate and then I remembered we used self-check in the past pressing the "pirate voice" button so the computer uses that voice to walk you through. I told him we'd use that when we checked out. We ended up getting a few more books; a couple on elephants, dump truck, handy manny safety first, and a basketball book. He took these and went into the library's kid castle to "read". At bed time, he grabbed all his new books to take upstairs with him.

(Wednesday)
Morning alone time with L went well again since J was sleeping. We are getting close to having a place secured for our fall trip up north. I'm doing the searches on the internet so I told him I found what looks like a cozy 2-bdrm cabin right on the lake in the North Woods area. We invited a friend to come along but don't know if they'll meet us. Our outing today was to Pal Zone in the morning. We got there only to find out it was not meeting today. Thankfully, my friend Eileen had come with her son and so we brainstormed and ended up taking the kids to a library nearby to play. I had to give J a time out at the library. That's a first. He bit me again. That's an instant time out now. I found a perfect corner for his time out and he obeyed well by staying there the full two minutes. Since I've started doing instant time outs for biting, he does seem to be doing it less (went from daily to maybe once or twice a week). After an hour or so of playing and reading, the boys were ready for lunch. We went to Rocky Rococo's for pizza. J got bored when I was still eating so he started playing with his grapes. I usually don't let him play with his food, but he was lining up the grapes in different ways so I let him. We then spent time at a nearby park. It was just beautiful out. No humidity, low 70's, even a little cool with the breeze. This was such a great day for Eileen and I to talk since the boys were OK on their own a lot of the time.

J took an almost 3-hour nap today so I was able to have some time with the Lord. Today I shifted gears a little bit. I haven't talked about this on the blog for a while, but I'm still struggling with my weight. Over the past few weeks as I've kind of stepped back and watched myself and the eating decisions I'm making, it hit me that I really do not have this area surrendered to God. I went searching on the internet for a book that would help guide me in this. I think I found one. It's called Uncommon Vessels; a program for developing godly eating habits. I started the intro today. I really like the goal that she lays out in the beginning. She says that the goal is not mere weight loss and the fleeting joy of fitting into your favorite jeans. The goal is that eating would be done for God's glory. She referred to 1Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. So I want to learn what it looks like to live out that scripture in the realm of eating. For me right now, that's going to be focusing on times of overeating and too many sweets. It's funny how thinking about this in my time alone hit on another area of my life where there's too much "consumption" and that's in my computer time. I need to have more balance there especially in getting to bed at a decent hour. Another thing she mentioned that struck me was that our hearts are not changed by diets so when we are finished we them, we usually will slip back into the old eating pattern. It's when our hearts are impacted that an impact can be made for a long term lifestyle change. This program is set up to impact the inner man; our heart. Another scripture shared was encouraging: Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Tonight after dinner, J watched a Care Bears potty training video. He's not showing active interest in this, but often tells me when he has a bad diaper so that's a sign. I also have him sit on the potty whenever we're doing a bath. We'll see if this sparks more of an interest for him. Then we had our Wednesday night at the Y. I'm back to doing half walking, half running on the treadmill again to change things up. Once we got home, J had his first bubble bath. He loved playing with his dinosaurs in it, splashing around and making bubble beards. After all the fun, it was time for bed.

Picture credit to Elyse Fitzpatrick

Fun at the Dream Park

(Thursday)
Today ended up being warmer than I thought it would be. We're back to the humidity but just not as hot. We had a play date with friends at the Monona Dream Park. We started out with a picnic together. My friend Tina's daughter eats like a bird like J, picking at food. Although he always does pretty well with PB&J (today's menu). This was a new park for J, so he was a little hesitant and constantly wanted me with him. He did tolerate staying around Tina's kids so I could drop things off at the car. This park is very similar to McKee Farms, the one we go to frequently. There he roams around all over the place but not today. Tina and I were able to squeeze in some talk time, even with the kids coming to interrupt. All too soon, it was time to go and say goodbye to our friends. On the way home, J kept asking for Sim., Tina's oldest son. I think he connected a bit with him.

Once at home, it was time for a nap. He went down pretty willingly and ended up sleeping for 2-1/2 hours which was nice.

In my devotional time, Beth (from To Live is Christ) was in Acts 14. Paul and Barnabas continued on their missionary journey ending up at Iconium. There were Jews and Gentiles there opposing them and wanting to take their lives so they fled to another city and began to preach there. God performed a miracle through Paul (made a crippled man walk) and people thought they were gods and tried to worship them. Just as they were setting the record straight, some of the Jews came and won the crowd over and they turned on Paul and Barnabas. They stoned Paul and left him for dead, but he survived. The Lord delivered them. Beth shares that every time God delivers us from something (hardship, trial, habitual sin) the point is to ultimately draw us closer.

I made a new recipe for dinner; beef fried rice. We liked it, but J wouldn't have any. This is pretty typical. It's hit or miss when feeding him. He did like last night's chicken and broccoli casserole. It's hit or miss. Later, our sitter Dave came over so L & I could go to The Making of the Bible class at Blackhawk. It was a very well presented class, but a little too intellectual for me I think. He's doing a class next month about the character of a Christ follower, what happens once you commit to following him. That sounds a lot more interesting for me. The intellectual classes just don't stick with me, but those that are more relational do. When we got home, J was waiting at the door and was jumping up and down in excitement saying "mommy's home, mommy's home". What a welcome. He had boundless energy which Dave said he must have been storing up as he hadn't been that rambunctious. He ran and got his fire helmets and got daddy to play with him. They looked so cute.

An enjoyable day

What a great day today was. The weather was incredible. Yesterday the incredible heat and humidity finally broke and today it stayed below 80 degrees with a beautiful breeze. J was really into activities and engaging with me today. It started when he got up and wanted to read his two favorite books of the moment. The first is The Farm Book where not only does it tell the story about life for a family on the farm, every picture has things to count! We counted cows, ducks, chickens, cats, horses and pigs. Then we read Ballyhoo Bay. These are both books we got from our library sale for $25 cents each. I love it when we get so much use out of a cheap find. After breakfast, we watched some of a couple videos. The first one was called Mighty Machines. In it are segments on different machines and what they do. We watched the fire house, a street sweeper and garbage trucks. I think he liked the garbage trucks the most. Whenever the garbage man comes to the house, he runs to the window to watch them and sometimes we go outside to get a closer look. He seemed to follow along as they showed the garbage going from the houses all the way to the dump and what happens there and in between. The other video we watched was Miracle of Mozart; Numbers and Shapes. He really loved the numbers but not so interested in the shapes. Then he wanted to put together the fire truck puzzle which we did in a past Tot School. He got out the pieces but then needed me to come and do the puzzle with him since he needs my hints and can't link the pieces together yet.

After lunch, we went outside to enjoy the gorgeous day. Most of the time we just played with bubbles. We ended up going in the garage since it was so windy it was hard for J to catch them and pop them which he likes to do. He brought out his bubble mower and I filled it up and off he went. Then he wanted to ride his little car. He hasn't used these two things in a long time. I would push him up the little hill in our driveway and I taught him to lift his legs up so he could roll down the hill. We went back and forth several times but then it was time for his nap.

Ahhh! I've been really challenged with having a daily quiet time the last week. It has been hit or miss. J's schedule keeps changing around and now there's really not a time I'm totally alone while J naps (since J is going down later and daddy gets home). I was able to spend some time today, but not as much as I wanted. I didn't get a chance to have a good prayer time. I seem to pray in spurts throughout the day. A person will suddenly be in my mind and I'll say a prayer for them or a situation comes up that I'll pray about. I continue to read Beth Moore's book To Live is Christ. Today I was in Acts 13 where Paul goes on his first missionary journey. He goes with Barnabas. Verses 2 and 3: While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them." ³So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off. Beth says that the first church in Antioch is such a wonderful example for us; the followers there have a willingness to give, to receive the word, to preach and teach. She shares that the leaders of the church in Antioch were constantly ready to hear from God. They fasted and prayed before sending off Paul and Barnabas on their journey. This is the heart that I am after, the constant readiness to hear from the Lord. I find though I need to continue to fight off distractions that get in the way of that and the general busy-ness of our culture. I want to take time to just sit before Him. Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. Yet I find it hard sometimes to do that, to just sit. So that is something I'm going to pursue. I find it so healthy when I'm able to slow down like that and just rest before the Lord. Beth continues that verse 11 records the first miracle that we see God perform through Peter. It has to do with a sorcerer who opposes them when the proconsul (governor) sent for them so he could hear the word of God. The sorcerer is struck blind by Paul and the proconsul is amazed and believes. Verse 12: When the proconsul saw what had happened, he believed, for he was amazed at the teaching about the Lord. Beth shares that the Lord wants to amaze us with the wisdom of his word. He wants to show us how relevant he is and widen our vision. I want a heart that is ready to receive all that He has for me.

After J woke up from his nap, we had a pretty tame evening. We worked out at the Y. J started crying when I dropped him off. He did this at church too so he seems a little more sensitive lately to me leaving him. It's funny the phases they enter and leave and enter again. Then he didn't want to leave when I picked him up! He told me he was having fun playing with a little boy. They were playing with dinosaurs. We then watched daddy playing basketball for a little bit. J wanted to get a couple basketballs and we went to the kids basket. They have a huge mat three feet high and J wanted me to toss him onto it and then he wanted me to jump onto it. We were rolling around on the mat and jumping on and off and laughing like crazy. He didn't want to leave that either. At home, it was time for a bath and then sleep.

Just some thoughts.....

Today, L and I were having a good discussion and one of the things we talked about was prayer and being in the word. One of the things he said was so true, that it is so easy to not take the time to pray or be in the word on a regular basis. It is so easy to let it slide. So today ended up being a day where my time with the Lord went by the wayside. We went to Devil's Lake today leaving around 10am and were gone until 5pm. J then went down for a nap and I was having a friend over for fellowship at 6:30pm. Who knows what I did in-between other than eat and check the computer. But no time in the word.

About my prayer life...
While I met with my friend, I was sharing with her that since L went to his summer schedule in June where he leaves before I get up, we no longer have our daily time of prayer together. I was telling her how it is something I really miss out on, having my regular prayer partner. We would use the time to share things we'd like to pray about and what was on our hearts and then prayed together. It helped us stay more connected with one another. This was something my friend prayed about, that we would fit this in. So after she left and J went to sleep, we had some prayer time! It was so good to do this, and I just had to share. I see how I really took for granted what a difference this made in my life. Some days it was hard to pray when my thoughts strayed or I couldn't focus well. Now I see that even in those difficult days, we were doing something special. I'd like to get that back. Another confession is that I also wax and wane in my personal prayer times. Lately, it's gotten a little sparse again. I notice that I pray more when I am connecting on a more personal level with my friends, family. When I'm not getting in-depth connection, I tend to not think of them in prayer. I guess that makes sense to me (I know more what to pray when I'm more connected) yet I find the need comes up to recommit to making the time for it. So.....I need to pray for more prayer!

photo credit: Wonderful Word Bookstore

Wired for relationship

Daddy had the day off today and again J slept late. I got up a little after 9am to shower and daddy was just getting him up when I was done. He was reading his little bible to him, it was so cute watching J sitting on daddy's lap pointing to things or asking questions. He was "reading" the Dr. Suess book called Are You My Mother? I loved watching him and following along as he went through each animal the bird talks to and he would say "Are you my mother, kitty? No! Are you my mother, dog? No! etc. until he made it to the end. This morning it was play, play play. He got out his dinosaurs, flash cards, digger trucks, fire trucks and had things all over the room. Later, we put in a music DVD called "Raffi" who does music for children. A lady at the library who watches kids recommended it. J wanted me to hold him and dance. We had fun listening. Then I found a video on You Tube called "Slippery Fish" that we sing at the place I take him called Pal Zone. We had fun singing that together.

We had lunch and then we all went to the library. After picking up some things and getting my holds, we were looking for daddy. J says "daddy, where are you?" "daddy, come here." Then we found him. We went across town to the library L really likes and J wanted to play in the castle. Once home, it was time for his nap. I can say we've officially moved to one nap a day now. On vacation last week, J took one morning nap (he actually told me he needed it) but otherwise he's okay if I just put him down in the afternoon. Now that he's only doing one a day though, he's sleeping for 2-1/2 to 3 hours. Sometimes I have to wake him up for dinner because he's still sleeping. The downtime is nice in the afternoon, although I do miss that morning nap time!

For my quiet time today, I listened to the sermon that we missed yesterday since we were on the road from Chicago to Madison. It is a new series called "Wired for Relationship". He started out sharing that what we desire are relationships where people really know you. So often we are in places were we are together with people (sometimes many people) yet we are really alone. We don't KNOW those people. Yet we are wired for relationship. Deep relationships are really hard to find. He read from Genesis 2:7 The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. We were created in the image of God, created to reflect his image to the world around us. Then God created a companion for man. He shares how the "perfect" relationship was broken by the choice made to trust in man's wisdom and not God's. As a result, our relationships became distorted. Our priority as Christ followers is to cultivate healthy, growing relationships. They take time, patience and lots of attention. He shared how today's culture with all its technology and ability to text and write others on Facebook has broken down the path to intimate relationships. The question to keep asking ourselves is, "Is the way I'm using it (technology) healthy? Does it foster relationship? We were challenged to open up time to spend with others who inspire us or challenge us to grow in following Christ. We were also asked to look at what things we could change or do to make more time for important relationships. One thing that's opened up in my life is meeting one on one with a fellow Christian friend who wants to create an accountability relationship. Where we can share our struggles, confess, pray for one another and enjoy fellowship. We've met one time so far and we are meeting tomorrow night. I look forward to seeing how this relationship develops.

Tonight, dinner was really low key since it was mom's night out for my Titus group. I took J out of his feeding chair and he's standing up saying "I'm dancing. I'm getting my exercise." This was so cute because I had been telling him how Daddy would be taking him to the Y so he could work out. I was explaining that I wouldn't be there since I would be meeting with the Titus moms. He kept saying he wanted to go with me in my car. I went to kiss him goodbye and he got upset and started crying. I picked him up and brought him out to daddy's car talking all the way and he calmed down. Daddy said he did really well and they played for a bit once they got home. Our mom's night out was at our church building. We had game night. Seven of us ending up showing up so it's a very small turn out for our group which has more than 75 people. Yet it was also nice to just have our small group too. We played Cranium which I hadn't played before. It was pretty fun. I seemed to do well with the spelling questions and when I had to hum a tune for my partner to guess. Our team won. Then we played a round of Rummikub which is a game I played as a kid but had almost no memory of it. I guess it's along the lines of Rummy. This was a fun game too. I'm glad that I went.

photo credit: Blackhawk Church

Another lovely day of vacation

Our vacation adventure continues. It's actually very laid back and relaxing. J is sleeping past 8am most mornings, we're spending a lot of our time just hanging out around Amy's house. Today we did some puzzles together after breakfast. One with my niece and nephew, and then J and I did a few that were for his age. He really liked these. J has gotten really good at entertaining his cousins. He's realized he can make them laugh by just making faces or saying words they ask him to say. We took a walk in J's car and his cousins each got to push the car one way. They were pretty excited about that.


Before afternoon nap, we spent some time swimming. J did great in the water wings today thanks to cousin Blake. He got them out and J actually wanted them today. It was amazing how relaxed he got in the water. He went from clinging to me to just holding my hands and stretching out floating on his tummy while kicking his legs. We'd do little bits of this, then I'd hold him close and tell him how good he was doing and then we'd do some more.


Dinner was great, having steak quesedillas on the grill. After dinner, we all went in the hot tub. This was J's first time. He really enjoyed it, especially after he found out he could stand on one side of it. Then he really got comfortable and was splashing and walking from me to the railing and back. The kids went into the pool and then J wanted to go. We went back and forth a couple times and all of a sudden it was really dark and time for bed. It was another good day.

In my times with the Lord this week, I've been reading Acts 10 and 11. We see Paul preaching to the Gentiles as Peter is preaching to the Jews. Two giants of the faith, Beth says, although they had different callings. Paul came to see that God accepts men from all nations who fear him and do what is right (Acts 10:34-35). Later, while Peter was on a rooftop to pray, he had a vision from God. In this vision, God was admonishing him to not consider anything impure that God had made clean. He comes to learn the meaning of this is the barrier between the Gentiles and the Jews. God sends the men of Cornelius (a centurion) to ask Peter to come see him. Peter accepts this invitation in obedience, even though meeting and certainly eating with Gentiles was forbidden for Jews. God through his word was breaking down prejudicial barriers through his followers who obeyed. Beth reflects a lot about this. It was good to think about where in my life do I have prejudices, especially spiritually. So often we can have spiritual pride where we feel superior to others and do not see our blind spot. This has happened to me and when the Lord has opened my eyes to it, it is very humbling. Later in Acts 11, Barnabas and Saul went to preach and be with the church in Antioch. When Barnabas saw the evidence of the grace of God there, he encouraged them to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts. Here Saul was teaching the principles of a godly life while Barnabas was encouraging them to stay faithful. Having a Barnabas in the body you are connected to is so powerful. It is also powerful when you get the chance to be a Barnabas to others. You never know when something you say will have an impact for good in a person's life.

Needs versus wants, good to ponder

Ahhh...the joy of sleeping in! J and I are sleeping in the same room and he didn't wake up until 9:30 this morning. This was good since the alarm kept going off and I couldn't figure out how to stop it so I kept getting woken up. (Next time I'll just unplug it but I was just too tired to think about that.)

We got a scare today with news that my older sister Laurie went into the hospital at 3 in the morning after not feeling right. I took some time to pray since this was unnerving and then also prayed with J and just as I was finishing he joined me in saying "amen". Laurie's kids were dropped off in the afternoon and my sister Amy was gone so I was in charge of the 5 kids. To do something other than watch TV, I had the idea to pick a picture out of a coloring book and color one for Aunt Laurie. Everyone was really serious about it, even J. I really hope it's a blessing to her. Thank the Lord we found out everything was alright, but they wanted to keep her overnight for observation. The two boys took a nap and the rest of us went for a swim once Amy got home.

I was able to catch some quiet time and was going to read my book To Live is Christ but then I found some notes I took from a speaker who came to my MOPS group in early spring. I really enjoyed going through the notes and taking time to look up the scriptures and think. Her focus was on looking at the scriptures and as we read asking ourselves, "What does this tell us about the Lord?" and "What does this tell us about how to live?" Especially, what is our attitude toward possessions. She shared the importance of this for ourselves, but passing it along to our children as well. A main point was truly focusing on what we NEED, not just getting more things. Also surrendering our impulse to buy everything we WANT but to pare that down and say "can I really do without this?" If so, I don't really need to buy it. This was really helpful to me since I've been ordering a lot of things from the internet lately at random and not giving much thought to much purchases. It's definitely coming from more of an "I want" versus having truly thought it over and asking if I really need it or having prayed about it.

The verses today were: my
Matthew 6:33 Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.
John 18:36 Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place.
Matthew 3:2 Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.

Vacation is off to a good start

On Saturday, we drove down to my sister's place in Downer's Grove for a BBQ and kick-off to vacation. J did so well being with so many different family members (sisters, step mom, cousins) who wanted some J time. His favorite thing was playing with these dinosaur figures of his cousin's. He also loved following around his 3-year-old cousin Henry all over the place. "Henry come play" he'd say. The best was when Henry, J and a friend's 2-year-old Zach went inside a see-through tent and were running around and around chasing and romping with each other. It was a long day though and we knew it was time to go around 9:30 when J was a little loopy from being overtired. He slept a little in the car but otherwise hadn't napped and he was wiped. We stayed the night at my older sister's place along with my sister Laurie (so 3 out of the 4 sisters were together). My cousin from St. Louis who had come up also stayed the night.

Sunday Aunt Kelly and Uncle RoRo made an incredible brunch for 12 with fruit salad, scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes with homemade blueberry compote and breakfast casserole. Wow! It was like being at a B&B. J had some OJ before eating and I didn't realize how much he drank until he would barely touch his food. He filled up on OJ! Soon he and Henry were off running around outside again. We stayed most of the day just relaxing but mostly indoors since it was so hot and humid outside. Once at my sister Ame's we unloaded and unpacked all the things for J and I for the week and put him down for a nap. Not 1/2 hour later he's crying and calling for me and I go in there and he says "I feel good mommy" meaning he was done with nap. So we got changed into swimsuits and went swimming. J was so excited to use the Batman water wings and then saw me with goggles and says "Where's J's goggles?" So we got him a pair. He looked absolutely adorable! Once in the water, though, he hated how the water wings felt so we took them off. He was great in the water as long as he could hold on tight to me. After dinner and then putting the kids to bed, Ame and I spent some time relaxing in the hot tub! It was very hot at first but then very relaxing. I then took a swim in the pool to cool off. It was great swimming underneath the stars. After another dip in the hot tub it was time to call it a night. Before bed, I was on Facebook and L instant messaged me and we chatted catching up on the rest of the day.

This morning I was up before everyone else and was able to have some devotional time. I was reading Acts 9:11-43. "From preacher to teacher." Once the disciple Ananias comes to Saul and speaks with him he regains his sight. Then at once he began to preach. The disciples didn't believe Saul was truly converted and were afraid of him. Saul spoke boldly in the name of the Lord. The irony is amazing, Beth reflects (in To Live is Christ), that Saul had come to Damascus to take prisoners but then he ended up being let into their homes. Verse 22 "Saul grew more and more powerful." Then the Jews tried to kill him. Barnabas, another disciple, opened his heart to Saul trusting him and his conversion story and then brought him in with the disciples. Saul's conversion story is just incredible to me. That he actually hears Jesus' voice, the men with him are petrified, he falls to his knees and is blinded! Then the Lord opens his eyes (truly) and he comes to believe. It is powerful for me to see Saul's passion to preach and to share the good news. Sometimes I find this so hard to do. I always pray for openings to share for Christ, yet sometimes I hold back and end up missing an opportunity. I look forward to reading more of this book as Paul is such an inspiration yet it also brings forth a challenge.


The kids played together after breakfast and then J lies down on the hardwood floor and says "I'm tired." I pick him up and bring him to the room to nap and he says "No, I feel good" but just looked so tired so I put him down and he ended up taking a 2 hour nap. His only nap of the day. After lunch, cousin Haley took J out to play in the sandbox.


We swam in the afternoon and my sister also held J for a while so I could swim around a bit. He didn't put up with that very long though because everything is still "no, mommy do it". Even brushing his teeth tonight. His cousin Haley asked to brush his teeth which I thought a great idea but J kept saying for me to do it. I did a little then he was OK with Haley taking over. Ame read the kids a couple books then they went off to bed.

More summer fun: swimming, zoo, concert in the park

(Wednesday)
We spent our morning with our Pal Zone group. J and I had a talk before we left about sharing and being kind. It seemed to help as he would get into a tug of war over something and I'd remind him to share and he'd respond. I did a lot of refereeing today as he squabbled with several others over different toys. It helps that there are so many things to play with and you can redirect pretty well. The other moms are pretty responsive to correcting their kids when needed which definitely helps. J got rambunctious during story time and kept sneaking into a play area he wasn't supposed to go. We decorated a kite for the craft and he worked with me a bit but I did a lot of it since he just wanted to play with the decorations. Then he connected with a boy about 5 or 6 and started following him. The boy started running up and down the hall and J tried to keep up going back and forth several times. He got some good exercise doing that.

My reading today was from Acts 9:1-10, Saul's conversion. Beth brings up the question, "Why did the Lord call me?" Saul may very well have thought the same thing when he was blinded on Damascus road and heard Jesus' voice calling out to him. This is the one who made murderous threats to the disciples and got papers and he was pursuing them to have them all arrested and jailed. This was unlike his teacher Gamaliel who in Acts 5:38 tells fellow leaders to leave these men alone. "Why me?" Saul might say. We see Christ's compassion and forgiveness in his mercy. Beth calls this the purity of his mercy. It makes me think of where I was and what life I had led (things I had done) before the Lord called me. It's humbling to think about the depth of his love and forgiveness.


I went to the Y for a workout after that as we were planning a dinner get together with friends. Back at home while J was napping, I got a message that our evening get together was canceled. In a way, this was good since we've been running most nights and it was good to have a low-key night. We played a little with his flash cards and did some counting. I said, "Would you do a little more counting?" and he came over, counted a few cards real quick and said "I'm all done cards mommy" and moved on. We went to the Y again since daddy wanted to work out so J and I went swimming. He spent a lot of time jumping off the side into my arms. He really likes it. We also practiced kicking and paddling. He went down for bed really easily as he had quite an active day.

(Thursday)
We had a nice morning at home. J wanted me to read him a book first thing out of bed. Later, I talked with our friend Eileen and we made plans to take the boys to the zoo and meet after lunch. I did some Tot School with J and got some pictures of counting with flash cards, reading counting books and using colored beads for counting.


On the way to the zoo, J asked about daddy. I make it a habit that every time he asks about daddy while he's working we'll pray for him. So I prayed and then J says "pray for J and mommy?" so I prayed again and then he says "pray for J and daddy?" It was cute, he kept asking me to pray. The zoo ended up being a lot more crowded than we thought it would be, but still enjoyable. They are having an art zoobilee which is a really neat art display of various animals painted in cool ways. You see them as you walk through the zoo. They were a big draw for the boys and they enjoyed checking them out. Several of the boys favorite exhibits were closed today for maintenance (lions, tiger, camels) but they still had a good time. On the way home, J kept telling me "I feel good mommy" when I said he needed a nap and he was sleeping before we even got home.



Tonight was the final Concerts at the Park in Verona. Eileen and the boys met up with us and Carolina was doing face painting. J and I went over and she gave him the cutest little painted dinosaur on his hand. It matched the one on his shirt! It was incredible how busy the little guys were playing with the various cars, trucks and little people we brought. Of course, there were plenty of times that Jackson went roaming. He really likes to wander so Eileen gets her exercise. I had a good time chatting with Eileen while the boys played and our hubbies were nonstop talking too. J got a couple time outs when he got aggressive and hit me for who knows what. I'm noticing he's singing a lot more now. On the way to bed, I heard a little of Twinkle Twinkle and then when I sang his bedtime song he was singing with me.

Celebrated 8 years of marriage

(Monday)
J again wanted to start off the morning with the elephants of the Jungle Book. It's a funny new phase he's in, marching around the room while it plays. I had to do some work on the computer so I also let him watch the Veggie Tale Pistachio which is like Pinocchio. It had a good lesson about listening to your parents so I have been able to remind him of that when he's needed it. I ordered some flash cards in the mail; one for numbers 1-25 and the other for colors and shapes. He really liked playing with these. He wanted me to play cars with him so I did a little of that and then he asked to do some painting. He did two different paintings with his finger paints with me putting the blobs of paint on the page and he'd swirl it around. We also spent some time with his new mini jars of Playdoh in a variety of colors.

After lunch, I thought we'd go outside and feed the birds. It turned into a learning exercise as J wanted to get involved. I had him use the scoop and transfer the seed from the container into a small bucket. Then he followed me to the backyard and I filled up the feeders.

In my time with the Lord, I read Matthew 27:62-64 (reading To Live is Christ by Beth Moore). In our study, says Beth, there are 3 groups within the Judaism of Saul's time. The Herodians, the Sadducees and the Pharisees. John 12:42 tells us "Many even among the leaders believed in him (Christ). But because of the Pharisees and those against him, they hid their belief. (Verse 43) They loved praise from men more than praise from God. At times we too are silent about our belief because we want others' approval. God help my weakness! I know I fall into this too. Beth reflects on how the Jewish leaders among those responsible for Jesus' death were so blinded by self interest that they were willing to betray and murder him, simply because he was a threat to their power. She says to think of a time when because of your own self interest you rejected God's purposes for your life. I took some time to think about this and one did hit me. I thought about the times that J comes up to me and I say "I'm busy" but yet sometimes I really could stop. I can see how this can be one of God's purposes, sending an opportunity where I can nurture and encourage J in those times instead of putting him off. Truly there are times that won't really work, but I'm glad this came to light. I also have this realization about my prayer life with my husband. It had been a daily occurrence, sharing a bit about what's going on and then praying together before he left for work. Ever since he went to summer hours, that hasn't been happening. We haven't made it a priority to carve out a new time for prayer together. Beth shares that as we seek to understand the heart of this Jewish Pharisee Saul, we know he too was with the Pharisees in their desire to see Jesus killed. In the chapters to come, we'll see God's power at work moving Saul from enemy to servant of the Lord.

After dinner, I had a get together with my friend Cecile from life group. L offered to watch J so that we could meet. She's desired for a long time to get into a deeper relationship with other women in the church body, but it hasn't happened. We think this may be a good opportunity for us getting together regularly on that level, for accountability in our spiritual growth. We met tonight to talk about our expectations, what we'd like to focus on and what we desire from it. Then we used the rest of our time to start sharing and then taking time to pray for one another. It has been so long since I've had this type of relationship that I forgot how refreshing it is. I was driving home just really encouraged and with a lighter feeling in my heart.

(Tuesday)
In the morning, J was playing with his flash cards again and wanting the elephants from the Jungle Book. After menu planning, I took J to get the week's groceries. We also stopped at Walgreens to buy some things for kids that need school supplies, a way we're serving through our church. I have to say J was so good and so patient while I hunted things down from a long list of supplies. He started a whispering game where he's see something on the shelf and whisper its name and I'd repeat it. Then we'd have a good laugh about it. I loved it. Finally, we got home and had lunch and then J spent time coloring, playing with his little people and lining up his firetrucks. Later, we went to the library and picked up a few more things. He started having a huge melt down as we were checking out so he went right down for his nap once home.

In my devotional time, I read Acts 7:1-8:1 a chapter Beth entitles Finding the Way. She says god's word does not tell us what we want to hear, but what we need to hear. In this chapter, we're looking at Stephen, a passionate follower of Jesus being falsely accused by the Jewish leaders. Saul listened to his speech and then gave his approval of his death as Stephen was stoned; the first Christian martyr. Stephen says in verse 7:60 Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." This reminds me of Jesus on the cross, as he asked his Father to forgive his killers. This is so powerful.

Today, my husband and I celebrated 8 years of marriage. Our friends kindly offered to take J while we went out together. We dropped him off and my heart was wrenched as his little face fell when we were saying goodbye and he got teary. On a recommendation, we went to Madison's Shish Cafe, a Mediterranean restaurant that is way too good for the dull shopping mall it's squeezed into. The food was just incredible as we ordered the sampler plate for two. Things like hummus, tahini, grape leaves, chicken and lamb kabobs. Mmmmm...we'll definitely be going there again. We had some fun recalling some of the highlights of the last year of marriage. Then we went to State Street and took a nice walk. Stopped for some cheesecake ice cream with fresh blueberries and then walked down to the lake to finish our stroll. J ended up having a great time and was in such a happy mood when we got there. He continued to play and grabbed my hand so I'd join him. Playing chase in and out of the kitchen, stacking pillows that he'd fall into and then Cecile played the accordion for us. A very enjoyable evening.

Laughing with your 2-year-old is such a gift

This morning was different. It was a really mixed morning. Part of the time, J seemed prone to cry super easy like when he'd ask for something and I'd say no. But then we'd get into these periods of silliness with each other and we couldn't stop laughing. We had been playing his leap frog phonics letters and I started singing the letter song with my nose plugged. J just loved it! He tried doing it then and we'd just crack up. Or he was making clucking noises with his tongue while driving his little car on the furniture and I started clucking back and it just made him laugh which got me laughing. He also had to see the marching elephants from Jungle Book several times (2 frames from the movie). I decided not to do the library story time today. We were out yesterday most of the day and then tomorrow to Sunday we're going camping PLUS it was a nice rainy day which is perfect for staying in. We had fun doing Tot School. Our focus was on the alphabet. As you see in the post, he wasn't that keen on lining up the blocks in ABC order. I tried explaining Tot School and then he did a little more saying "I'm doing Tot School mommy." I liked watching him play with his little people. He lined them up on the couch and put a couple in a car. Then he'd make up a story about where they were going and what they were doing. He got upset about something and then says "I need a nap mommy" which I knew was near so he willingly went upstairs with me so I could lay him down. We read a story from his Jesus Storybook Bible about God giving Moses the 10 commandments.

He ended up taking a 3 hour nap so I was able to have time alone with the Lord and also time on the computer and a little reading. In my time with the Lord, the focus was from Phillipians 3:4-6 Paul having no "confidence in the flesh". I notice Beth Moore (I'm reading To Live is Christ) is using his early name Saul so that's how I will refer to him for now. She is talking about the influences upon Saul's life growing up like the Pharisees. The word Pharisee was meant to represent genuine piety and deep devotion to God. In the days of Jesus and Saul, the term had become synonymous with hypocrisy and cynicism. See Matthew 23 where Jesus addresses the teachers of the law and Pharisees. Beth underscores the need for loving God, being loved by God coupled with obedience. Without the love, we are just trying to be good. Saul fell into the pitfall of the Pharisees trying to live out the law faultlessly; not out of love for God but to follow the letter of the law. Saul's heart begins to turn away. She refers to Isaiah 29:13,
The Lord says:
"These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me
is made up only of rules taught by men.
I pray that I would never fall into that trap! It's so lifeless and empty. I find the more I become aware of God's love and majesty, really letting that in, the more I desire to follow him and his ways. Not just following a set of rules because I want to be a "good Christian" or something. This was really good to think about.

The first thing J wanted to do after his nap was see the marching elephants again. Daddy had just come home so right away he joins us marching around the living room. It was cute. J was asking for muffins for dinner and when I told him we were eating as a family mommy's tuna casserole he started a cry which I thought could be a melt down and then he just stopped. He would only eat a few bites though and then said he was all done. Even after sitting there a while he didn't eat anything more. After dinner, we stopped at the library where I had some holds come in. Then we stopped at a friend's house to pick up song books. We're going camping at Devil's Lake in Baraboo this weekend and L is bringing his (borrowed) guitar. She has a real fondness for J and he let her hold him and he sat on her lap while she read a couple books. Once home, it was time for a bath and then bedtime. It was nice, he went up without much ado and enjoyed the bath (except for getting his head wet). Then he wanted Daddy and he came to read a book or two.

Taking some time to myself (among other things)

(Wednesday)
Maybe this is a new phase, but this morning J again didn't want me to read to him even when I offered, but wanted me to read aloud a book he picked out while he was reading one. If I was quiet, he'd say "mommy, read it" wanting me to keep going.

Then it was nap time for J. I had put off for too long various things that needed to be done around the house and I can't believe how much I got done today! It felt so good to see the results afterward. It was the kind of cleaning I don't have a huge block of time for very often but today J took a 3-1/2 hour nap (from 11:30-3pm)!!! I checked in on him a couple times and he didn't hear me or stir at all. I just kept cleaning until he woke up.
Here is my exciting list:
-cleaned our bedroom getting to areas that hadn't seen a vacuum in ages
-cleaned J's room
-scoured sinks
-reorganized and cleaned up toy area
-hung painting that had been my mom's which was sitting in living room for past couple months
-swept/mopped floors
-load of laundry
-vacuumed living room, stairs, upstairs bedrooms

In my time with the Lord today the reading was Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. It was probably 3 or so months ago in a time of challenge with J that I remember thinking, I am training J. Every day by what I say, what I don't say, what I do, he is watching me and absorbing more from me than I know, both the bad and the good. It reminds me to stop myself in those hard moments and ask, how am I training him? To be patient or impatient? Loving or angry? Gentle or harsh? And then ask for a fresh supply from the Lord to train him in the way he should go. Beth shares how this verse to the ancient Hebrew was one of the sternest commands of God. Paul described himself in Phillipians 3:5 as a "Hebrew of Hebrews" meaning nothing but Hebrew influence touched him in his early childhood. Paul was raised a Pharisee which at the time represented some of the noblest traditions of the Hebrews. For the parents, living a godly life was the most important of all. By the time Paul was 13, he would have assumed all the responsibilities of the adult Jew and was considered a man. He had done much memorization of God's word; the law of the Lord was his life. This is so good to be reading about how Paul was being raised. "Living a godly life" as his parents were committed to doing is so important to me to strive for as I know most of what J learns is from my actions, not what I say. I want my life to teach him my love for the Lord.

We had gotten Jungle Book the movie and J liked this part where the elephants go marching. He had me play it again and again. After his nap, he wanted to do a flip off my lap. I don't know when I taught him how to do this but he sits on my lap facing me and while I hold his hands he leans back and flips. He's so proud of himself too. "I flipped mommy!" he'll say.

Tonight was my solo night out. Our area library was showing The Blind Side with free popcorn. L wasn't that interested in it so he watched J while I got to see a movie, a rarity. It was really good, like I'd heard. It was so nice to take a night away. This was reinforced by a blog I found where she encourages mothers to take some time to themselves (she's addressing homeschooling mothers).

Here's the excerpt taken from a post on The Flourishing Mother:
For a mother to allow herself a bit of leisure to rest and refresh herself by exploring her own interests, to find a little time for herself, especially when so many others depend on her, is a what Karen calls, Mother Culture ®.

When a busy homeschooling mother takes part in Mother Culture she safeguards her enthusiasm, so she will be better able to cope with her responsibilities. To partake in Mother Culture is to feed herself with the Word of God, with ideas from books, nature, art, music, etc., thus taking care to keep growing spiritually and mentally. If there such is a thing as the joy of childhood, there is also such a thing as the joy of motherhood, and Karen admonishes mothers to recognize and live within such a blessing.

L said J wanted to see the elephants of Jungle book over and over and then they went for a walk and played outside before bedtime.

(Thursday)
This morning our Titus's mom's group got together in our church gym for play group. We canceled being at the park since it was raining. There were only a handful of moms that came. J liked playing in a little tent they had set up. He played with cars and little people. He had trouble keeping his hands to himself (trying to hit) so I had to correct and then finally a time out when he hit a little girl. It's like he has this little space bubble and if someone gets too close to what he's doing, he reaches out to push them away or hit. Two of the moms were sharing with me they have the same struggle they're working through with their kids. Time outs seem to help a bit, but not completely.

On our way home, J asked to go to McDonald's. He hasn't done that before. There was one near our way home with a playland so we stopped there. I was worried he'd get stuck at the top in the playland but he was able to climb back down when he went to the top. Then he wanted my help to go up the other side and some kids at the top were crowding around him saying "hi cutie, cute little baby" and it got a little much for him.

Today in my devotional time I read Acts 22:3 At the Feet of Gamaliel Then Paul said: "I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. Under Gamaliel I was thoroughly trained in the law of our fathers and was just as zealous for God as any of you are today. Paul's father sent him to Jerusalem to continue his Jewish education. Gamaliel was highly esteemed (and Beth says he still is today) and was a remarkable teacher. Beth shares Paul's words from 1Corinthians 8:1-3 how "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up." The man who loves God is known by God. She encourages us to study God's word not to gain knowledge, but to increase our love for God. I only earnestly began to study God's word as I was coming to the Lord between age 25-30. It was when I turned 30 that I found a small church group where I met with a couple individuals including the pastor's wife and I learned how to study God's word so that it became a regular part of my life. Each day as I read, I find out just how much more I have to learn!

J took a pretty good nap which was good since we were invited for dinner by L's childhood friend Marilyn that he reconnected with through Facebook. I haven't heard L laugh so hard in one night for a long time. They said it was like having their own little class reunion. They went through their old yearbook page by page and went through picture albums including a month-long trip their French class took to Europe. J ate like a little bird and then he played with their foster daughter Katie who is 12. She is great with kids and babysits too. It was so funny throughout the night, we found several things we had overlapping in our lives or in common like my medical transcription background. One was it turns out I interviewed Marilyn back when I worked at the UW Hospital (but she turned down the job). It was so long ago that I didn't connect with her name. We got home past J's bedtime and L was putting him to bed and he was melting down. I came up and calmed him down just holding and rocking him but then brushing his teeth he had another melt down and then had to be calmed down again.