Julian's starting to test the boundaries

On Wednesday it was not a surprise, Julian was really hungry in the morning. He wolfed down a whole waffle with peanut butter and then wanted some mini pancakes. No doubt it was because he was so difficult at dinner last night and didn't eat a full meal. That's happening a little more often of late.

We went to Pal Zone our play group and had a mixed time. Part fun but also part challenge. It started when he got upset that other kids were coming up on the slide that he was on. He got really possessive of the slide, which he has never done before and I literally had to move him aside since he was whining at the kids and not letting anyone go by him. He did well sitting in circle time and putting his own name tag up on the board although cried and was upset when I didn't let him bring Elmo into the non-play room. Problems started up again during our art project time when it seemed any direction I was giving him he'd try to do the opposite of what I said. Really challenging.

He had a good nap when we got home and ate well at lunch. Then he wanted to watch some Elmo for a bit.

My quiet time today started with 1Samuel 19 where Saul is wanting to kill David. I reflected on the chapter for a bit and it struck me how he failed to come to the Lord and acknowledge his rage and jealousy so he stayed in that state of mind.

We went to the YMCA to work out and when we picked up Julian the childcare gals said they read to him just about every fire truck book that they have. I told her he is all about fire trucks right now. He also likes saying no a lot but not how most kids use no. He playfully uses no when he really means yes like he'll be having fun playing with some cars and they'll ask him if he likes cars and he'll say a quick no! with a sly smile. He does that a lot.

We've been seeing some changes in Julian's behavior which could be a hint that the terrible two's are starting early. He was always good about us putting on his coat and hat and now we have to chase him around the living room before we go somewhere to get those on. He's really squirmy trying to resist it. Dinnertime is also where we see a lot of this coming out; he'll be eating fine and then all of a sudden seem mad and won't let the spoon get near him or he'll start tossing food onto the floor. We have started to have some battles here which may be a hint of what is to come.

Thursday Julian woke up again wanting to read a book as soon as he was out of the crib. He kept saying "book eye, book eye" and we figured out he was talking about "The Eye Book" by Dr. Suess that we read for the first time the night before. He's started to put together these little two-word sentences. A couple others are "Elmo watch" when he wants me to put in the Elmo video or "Daddy see" when Daddy leaves and he wants to go see him off at the door.

We went to my Titus group in the morning. It has been on my heart to connect with other women in our group and as I dropped Julian off in the nursery I saw a woman I met the week before at our play group. She was smiling so I smiled at her and started to say hi when she walked right past me saying "hey Michelle" and had been smiling at someone else! I hate when that happens! I felt humbled by it and was let down too. The activity today was doing a service project putting together backpacks of books for children in crisis situations. We had some social time later and I noticed the one person I do know was already in conversation with someone. I ended up standing in between groups of women who were all talking with one another while I was just standing there. It felt so awkward. I wish I had more courage to just go up to people and start a conversation but I'm better once the initial contact has been made and the ice is broken. That's more comfortable for me. This is definitely an area I need to grow. I continue to desire to develop friendships with other moms but I know that takes time.

Later when I had some time alone with the Lord I was reflecting on a theme I'm seeing with the groups I'm in. I really want to connect with people but I continue to feel let down when the connections aren't happening. I see that I've been taking it personally and end up feeling insignificant. The Lord was reminding me that my significance is found in him, and my mind went back to Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It dawned on me I had just read that in the morning! I love when God uses things like that to speak to me. I see how I need to be patient and trust him for he has plans for me in pursuing these friendships.

I was reading 1 Samuel 20 where David is being pursued by Saul and is running for his life. Jonathan says "whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you." You really see his devotion and complete commitment to their relationship. Later when Jonathan had given David an official warning David bowed down and kissed the ground - the two wept together. Beth Moore shared how this is an example of those once in a lifetime friendships. The spirit of God cemented their friendship. I think I had a friendship like this before. I met a friend through our old church Sunrise and we met every couple weeks for about 3 years. She was someone I learned to trust and the longer we met the more we were able to confide in one another. Sharing our hardships with each other and revealing our struggles and then praying for one another - doing this on a regular basis was really powerful. Beth Moore said "If God is not an active part of your friendships, you are missing out on one of life's most important treasures." I would have to agree!

Our babysitter/friend Karen came over to hang out with us. We played some music and were showing Julian how to make a drum by banging on a plastic container with a wooden spoon. So he takes it and puts it on the floor and begins "stirring" with the wooden spoon. We were trying to tell him again how to bang on it like a drum but then he went and got his little Tigger and started "stirring" and then he put the spoon up to Tigger's mouth - he was "feeding" him! It was so adorable. Then he kept stirring and would take the spoon to go "feed" the cat too.

Julian is quite a talker. Lately he will go on for minutes at a time talking in gibberish. He did this at breakfast today and I notice it throughout the day. He loves to "read" a book aloud or just stand there and talk and if you listen you'll hear something like "blah blah blah fire truck", "blah blah blah Elmo", "blah blah animal crackers." It cracks me up! Lanty says he's taking after his mother....

We had a really nice walk today. It was very sunny and I had the sense of anticipation of spring. It's starting to feel closer. We're thinking about taking a weekend trip to La Crosse to visit friends so that will help break up some of the monotony of the winter.

Well, for the 2nd night in a row I didn't have to cook! Last night we just had big salads since we were going to the YMCA right after. Tonight we were treated to dinner at Perkins by our friend Brad who we know through our old church Sunrise. Lanty got to see first hand what I've been going through with Julian of late, his mini tantrums that have been cropping up. It happened at least 3 times when Julian didn't get something he wanted or someone else had something he thought he should have. One time he was so loud with his "protest" that I turned his highchair around to give him a little time out! He quieted down a bit but it didn't stop them altogether. Once he was done eating he spent most of the time coloring. He seems to really like it. I also brought a couple of his little books and used that to redirect him a couple times when he got upset. I'm praying for wisdom and patience and that I'll take time in how I respond to Julian since I'm new to this and learning and want to handle it in a godly way.

Finally, today Friday was a nice relaxing day. We had nothing scheduled, no play groups or library class. I tried a new game with Julian in the morning called hard or soft where you start with a big pile of things and you sort them by those two categories. I don't think he was really getting it but I'll keep playing it since I think it's a good learning game and it's something different.

After lunch we took a little field trip to Half Price Books. I wanted to get Julian his first real bible. I found a story bible for toddlers and up that looks fitting for his age. It'll be fun to start sharing these stories with Julian. We also found a few books that were $1 to $2 so now he has his first Clifford book and another Elmo one.

Julian likes to run to the door when he hears the garage and says "daddy", knowing his Daddy is home. They play peek a boo at the door and then any pennies Lanty has from the day he lets Julian put in our penny jar. The jar is getting quite full! We had a nice dinner together and then Julian was saying something I knew I heard before but couldn't quite make out. I realized he was saying crayons so I let him draw for a while before going to bed. Daddy read him a couple books, I read him one and then we tucked him in for the night. I'm going to tuck myself in too pretty soon. I've been staying up too long lately and need to get some catch up sleep.