Speed blogging (J getting more daddy time, good quiet times and one-on-one mom time)

It's 10pm and I'm going to try and beat the clock and make it to bed by 10:30 tonight AND get the blog done. I think I'll do another bullet highlights for the last couple days. I love journaling what we do but lately it's been keeping me up at 12, 12:30am, and have to rein it in.

(Tuesday)

• After the extended weekend, L and I got back to our morning time alone together. We were able to take about an hour together for catching up and prayer. It has been good to learn more about what's on his heart and more of what's going on in his life. You can get so busy with every day life that you're not in tune with everything happening with your spouse. It's worth the sacrifice of sleep!
  
• This morning's activity was grocery shopping. This continues to be interesting. I had learned that bringing a few toy animals would keep him busy and happy, but that's starting to wear off. J got pretty ornery and kept asking to get out. Finally, I decided to do something different and let him out and getting him to help push the cart. This was OK for a bit but then he started to run and got too rambunctious so I put him back in the cart and I don't know which was worse his running down the aisle or the crying tantrum putting him back in. So that continues to be an experiment.
  
• We also went to library in the afternoon. J saw the Cat in the Hat on the computer and wanted to watch and listen. He sat there enthralled the whole time while I browsed around. I was always within earshot and could hear his little narration of the story and plenty of giggling. I had a buying faux pas. So I'm continuing my 30 day buying fast of only essentials (which has been interesting and so far no buying. I am putting a post together about it to update.) So I was checking out and found these vintage Disney books of Lion King, Lion King II, Dumbo, and Finding Nemo. J has been really excited about these lately so I was buying them when it hit me that I'm not supposed to buy stuff. They were 50 cents/piece so I told myself they were essentials because I probably won't get a chance like this again. Argh! Rationalizing wins.
• In the evening, I was leaving to get together with my friend Cecile but J wasn't handling it well. It turns out he cried and cried for a while after I left and wouldn't eat much for dinner. Cecile and I had a fruitful time sharing about what's been going on in our lives for the past month. It is so good to be able to reveal more of yourself to someone as you grow in trusting one another. That was happening last night. As we were talking, I heard a little voice calling, "Mommy, mommy, mommy." It was odd because it sounded like J! Sure enough, it was. L had dropped by after a workout at the YMCA so we all visited for a bit. Then I stayed so we could pray and J left crying. It was a hard decision but I realize he needs to spend this kind of time with daddy. He spends so much time with me that he mainly looks to me for comfort and most of his night routine, so we're working on J getting over that so he can receive that from dad.
  

(Wednesday)

• In my morning time with L, we only had about 20 minutes of talking and sharing time before I heard J waking up. After breakfast, we headed out to Pal Zone. Our last time with this group for a while. I'm starting a new women's bible study that meets the same day so I found another Pal Zone day at a different location we'll go to probably every other week. My friend Eileen showed up at circle time. J overall was more aggressive today and I had to watch him pretty closely. He kept putting his arm up in the hitting pose and I'd catch him before he tried doing it. He doesn't hit hard, just kind of a tap but he needs to learn that it's not OK. This is a slow learning process for him. We also had lunch together and then went to the mall for some running around play time for the boys. I love days like this with so much mom to mom time. Eileen and I continued to find so many things we have in common in our backgrounds and it was great to be able to really talk. The boys spent over half an hour alone on the toy fire trucks and race cars at the mall's entrance. All of that with no quarters so they didn't even move yet they loved going from one to the other.
• We got home and I thought it was nap time but J wanted to "watch something" so instead I put in a CD a friend recommended by Hap Palmer "Learning basic skills through music." I had no idea how J would respond but soon he was following along with the song sitting down and standing up and dancing around. We had so much fun doing this and it was fun for me too. I love to sing with him.
• We went to the Y tonight and I had a hard but shorter workout since we got there a little later than normal. When I picked J up they said he was asking for me constantly the last 15 minutes after a little boy said he missed his mom. J said, "I miss my mommy too." And then kept asking for me. Before bed, he found these Thomas shoes I bought (in advance) since they are a size or two ahead of where he's at now. He wanted to wear them around for a little bit so I let him have fun with that but when he wanted to wear them to bed I had to say no. Lately, when I say our prayers and bedtime song he has to be looking at me. I would sit in the rocking chair with his back against me but now he insists on turning around to be able to see me. That's harder though because then he likes to play by poking my cheeks or touching my eyebrows, etc. But things like this are so cute to me.

Devotional Time

• Yesterday I read more from To Live is Christ by Beth Moore. We were in Acts 15 at the start of Paul's second missionary journey. Paul and Barnabas having a horrible falling out. They were making a plan to go back and visit the churches they had started but Barnabas wants to bring Mark, someone who deserted them the last time around. Paul disagreed and it says they had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Beth reflects how in this passage we get to see how God uses flawed people, people who are like you and me. How often do differences come up when you're working closely with others, and especially when there are two strong-willed people unwilling to budge. Unless we invite God in, results can be disastrous, especially in the church body. This made me reflect on how I can easily fall into this. This happens more often to me with people I'm close to and it's so hard to bite my tongue and let things go when I should. Beth shares that with maturity we can learn to avoid it by confessing to God, being willing to pray for the other person (which often changes our heart in the process) and searching to see if there is anything underneath the anger (old resentments, envy or jealousy, etc.)
• In my time today, I was really able to connect with the Lord as I let myself be still and just prayed what was coming to my mind. One of the things I thought about was how I miss my walking. A big part of that was I used the time for prayer walking and it really refreshed me. I want to do that again. I started a new chapter in my study Uncommon Vessels. Today we looked at Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. The core question I reflected on was what do I think it means, a living sacrifice. For me, a couple areas are eating healthy, giving of my time to the Lord to receive daily "spiritual food" and learning to give of myself to others more generously.
  

OK, so it's 10:58. Not quite as speedy as I hoped, but better than midnight or later!

Sharing the highlights

Weds/Thurs Highlights

WEDNESDAY...

• J continued to enjoy playing with his Alphabet floor mat.

• Went to Pal Zone and was pleasantly surprised that my friend Eileen came with her son Jackson. I didn't even have any major squabbles to referee with J and the other kids. In fact, he played with a boy, Liam, who he chased around last time. At circle time when they do a round-robin asking the children their names the kids come up and put their name tag on a board. J said his name for the first time when it was his turn. Usually he would stay quiet and I'd say his name. He made a book today for the craft and his was all about firemen, fire trucks, hoses and more fire trucks.

• Went to Bean Sprouts Cafe for lunch thinking it was kids eat free day. Turns out that was Monday but still stayed to eat. Such a great place with a kids play area (kitchen, chalk board, coloring books and crayons). The boys liked going in and out of the "kiddie door" which is a really short entrance door for kids. Eileen and I had some great catch up time.

• Stopped at the library to pick up some holds and let J play for a bit. Found a few new books of elephants and J really excited.

• Went to Culver's so daddy could have dinner. (J and I already ate thinking we were going to the Y that night but the Y was closed for maintenance.) J was so funny picking up our number card and putting it over his face and acting silly.

• Visited our nephew at his dorm the night before his first day of college classes. Went down memory lane as this dorm is one I had friends in and that L stayed in when he was in college. J had fun seeing Zach and telling him all about his new Jungle Book that we brought along.

THURSDAY.....

• My friend Eileen was back in Madison today and we met up at the library. The boys played for probably an hour. J got in a little squabble over the trains which almost always happens. Everything he picks up is "mine". Stopped at McD's after and the kids played in the play land area.

• Let J watch some of Little Einstein's Fire Truck Rocket.

• Had some arts and crafts fun. Took shaving cream mixed with food coloring and let J finger paint. He kept saying "my hands are dirty mommy" and did one painting then we moved to his new Dot Paints. We each did a few paintings and then he traced over the smiley face I made with his paint. He had a ball playing with the paint caps naming the colors and stacking them.

• Found another meal J is into. My tuna casserole this time had cheese whiz in it and I think that was the key. He's been OK with it before, but this time he ate one bowl then asked for another.

• Read a few books and then daddy gave him a bath before bed.

QUIET TIME:
For the last 2 days, I've been going through my new book Uncommon Vessels (developing godly eating habits). She had a list of some really good questions to start out with like:

1. Am I modeling good eating habits?
2. Can I eat this with thanks and gratitude?
3. Does eating this cause an inroad to sin?
4. In my eating and drinking am I glorifying God?

This is a whole new mindset as I really don't think about these things while I'm eating. I'm excited about it though, because this is exactly the direction I want to go. The main thing is that as I seek to follow the Lord, I want to have every area of my life involved in that. Not just pieces or parts. So eating is a huge part of my life. I've finally come to a point where I can't ignore anymore that my eating is out of control. (Oh, that is hard to confess!) Yet, I'm hopeful in that I believe I am now going to work on the heart issues around it. In Galatians 5:22-23, it talks about the fruit of the Spirit (i.e. what one will exemplify by the power of the Holy Spirit's work in a believer) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. What I'm working to develop here is a spirit of self-control in my eating/exercising habits. One thing she says is that nothing will cause your spiritual growth like consistent, daily prayer so I spent some time today asking the Lord to guide me in this area and to fill me with His strength.

Weekend in Chicago with family

(Weekend)
We took a trip down to the suburbs of Chicago this weekend mainly to celebrate the birthday of my nephew which was on Sunday. Since we were coming down and staying at my sister's place, she invited us to a croquet and dinner outing she was involved in for a charity event. She's a board member for the Anima children's chorus who hosted. It was a little warm, but still great to be outside. We ended up playing 3 games of croquet (my sister Kelly and I were a team and my sister Laurie and brother-in-law Roland were a team). It took a while to get the hang of it again. I hadn't really played since I was a kid (other than one time after college). We had a set growing up but I don't think we were really into the rules. It ended up being really fun and one of my sisters will probably get a croquet set so we can keep playing. We had a wonderful dinner after that and a raffle too, although none of us won anything.

I realized this was probably the longest I'd been away from J in about a year and a half. I've had several Moms Nights Out and date nights, but none that kept me away for more than a couple hours. And it was great to know J did really well while I was gone. My sister's husband brought over J's cousins (ages 3 and 8) and they all had lots of fun playing together. They went to the park and also watched a Wallace and Gromit movie.

Sunday was the day of the party which didn't start until 2pm. We had a nice, relaxing day up until it was time to go. J fell asleep in the car so I carried him into the house. Of course, the minute I set him on the bed to continue his nap, he woke up. He says "I'm all done sleep mommy. I'm good." He bounced back quickly and was off to find Henry, his 3-year-old cousin. It was really hot and humid so we brought our swim suits and did some swimming. J reverted back to his clingy phase again. He did do a little bit of jumping to me in the water, but took a while to get completely comfortable with the swim time. Then the kids played together outside. He did so well and was the first time he could really be off on his own with his cousins Henry and Blake. I was able to see him from the patio and he only asked for me once or twice. On our way home, L and I had some time to really talk. We haven't had a date night in a while so we're a bit behind on going deeper into conversation with each other. There always seem to be things that are happening between us that we're not really talking about and we don't want it to get buried. So we started with a couple main things we'd like to focus on and in our alone time in the morning we'll be taking the time to explore, talk further and have ongoing prayer. J was pretty much awake for half the time sometimes quiet and sometimes playing, but then mid-way to WI he fell asleep. We seem to have a pretty good traveling system down with a variety of his things (dinosaurs, little people, cars, coloring book and books) so he isn't melting down like he used to.

(Monday)
L and I were up early again for our alone time. Today was really good. We are creating what we used to call "inner circle" in the house church we used to be part of. In our time, we'll be sharing areas that we're struggling, things that we're doing well and people we're praying for. I find it so healthy to have an accountability partner in my husband. We are certainly growing in this role, because it can sometimes be really hard to share things but it is really worth it. I see how taking care of J can really absorb me and I focus less on our marriage. So I look forward to what the Lord will do in these morning times. The day was already pretty humid at 8am so J and I did a lot of our playing in the house. He is taking more of an interest in his puzzles lately and spent a lot of time today doing that. It was cute, he was playing with his dinosaurs and then he said "be the baby dinosaur mommy" so I got into pretend-play with him. He liked doing whatever I did and enjoys it when I make up stories of what we're doing. Our outing for the day was going to the library. I had several things on hold to pick up and then was able to find a few more books. Three of them were about elephants, which continues to be one of J's favorites. We also went to the Y and it was extremely unusual that J actually fought me leading him into the play area. He went into the play area and laid on the floor calling out for blankie and nuk when we left. It turns out, the worker got blankie and nuk and he had no more problems the rest of the time. It was a rough night for him though, as he had a melt down at dinner and then a huge melt down when daddy did a diaper change for him before we left the Y. Once home though, he seemed to be fighting sleep and doing whatever he could to extend his awake time. After a big tickle fest kind of wore him out, he was ready for prayers and then sleep.

More words for Wednesday

(Tuesday)
This morning, I was able to have catch up and pray time with L before J woke up. He was up much earlier, around 8:30. Our big outing today was late morning we went to go get groceries. It did end up being a long outing (too long) I think since I'm trying to get all my main shopping done at one place. I used to get non-grocery things from Target but I realized every time I went, what should have been a $50 excursion was ending up sometimes at a $150 excursion! It was a good thing that I found a notebook in the start of shopping. I like to keep journals and this is a nice, smaller chunky one. J had to bring his crayons along but I only let him bring 2 so I let him color in the notebook. He was so content just coloring the whole time. Now his crayons did keep on dropping, but picking them up over and over was the price of peace in the shopping cart. After shopping we had some open play time. A couple highlights: He picked his Little People to play with. Then I noticed him getting out his fire trucks and lining them up along the couch. He started talking for the Little People saying, "I'm sitting in my fire truck. Everybody ready to go?" Then he answered with another little person, "Yeah! We're ready to go!" He did this a few times, it was so cute. Soon after, he came running to me asking to watch the DVD Mighty Machines. He wanted the fire truck segment. Then when that was over he wanted to watch the garbage truck segment again.

After dinner, we went to the Verona library. J ran over to the self-check out and climbed the stool asking for my help. He was talking about the pirate and then I remembered we used self-check in the past pressing the "pirate voice" button so the computer uses that voice to walk you through. I told him we'd use that when we checked out. We ended up getting a few more books; a couple on elephants, dump truck, handy manny safety first, and a basketball book. He took these and went into the library's kid castle to "read". At bed time, he grabbed all his new books to take upstairs with him.

(Wednesday)
Morning alone time with L went well again since J was sleeping. We are getting close to having a place secured for our fall trip up north. I'm doing the searches on the internet so I told him I found what looks like a cozy 2-bdrm cabin right on the lake in the North Woods area. We invited a friend to come along but don't know if they'll meet us. Our outing today was to Pal Zone in the morning. We got there only to find out it was not meeting today. Thankfully, my friend Eileen had come with her son and so we brainstormed and ended up taking the kids to a library nearby to play. I had to give J a time out at the library. That's a first. He bit me again. That's an instant time out now. I found a perfect corner for his time out and he obeyed well by staying there the full two minutes. Since I've started doing instant time outs for biting, he does seem to be doing it less (went from daily to maybe once or twice a week). After an hour or so of playing and reading, the boys were ready for lunch. We went to Rocky Rococo's for pizza. J got bored when I was still eating so he started playing with his grapes. I usually don't let him play with his food, but he was lining up the grapes in different ways so I let him. We then spent time at a nearby park. It was just beautiful out. No humidity, low 70's, even a little cool with the breeze. This was such a great day for Eileen and I to talk since the boys were OK on their own a lot of the time.

J took an almost 3-hour nap today so I was able to have some time with the Lord. Today I shifted gears a little bit. I haven't talked about this on the blog for a while, but I'm still struggling with my weight. Over the past few weeks as I've kind of stepped back and watched myself and the eating decisions I'm making, it hit me that I really do not have this area surrendered to God. I went searching on the internet for a book that would help guide me in this. I think I found one. It's called Uncommon Vessels; a program for developing godly eating habits. I started the intro today. I really like the goal that she lays out in the beginning. She says that the goal is not mere weight loss and the fleeting joy of fitting into your favorite jeans. The goal is that eating would be done for God's glory. She referred to 1Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. So I want to learn what it looks like to live out that scripture in the realm of eating. For me right now, that's going to be focusing on times of overeating and too many sweets. It's funny how thinking about this in my time alone hit on another area of my life where there's too much "consumption" and that's in my computer time. I need to have more balance there especially in getting to bed at a decent hour. Another thing she mentioned that struck me was that our hearts are not changed by diets so when we are finished we them, we usually will slip back into the old eating pattern. It's when our hearts are impacted that an impact can be made for a long term lifestyle change. This program is set up to impact the inner man; our heart. Another scripture shared was encouraging: Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Tonight after dinner, J watched a Care Bears potty training video. He's not showing active interest in this, but often tells me when he has a bad diaper so that's a sign. I also have him sit on the potty whenever we're doing a bath. We'll see if this sparks more of an interest for him. Then we had our Wednesday night at the Y. I'm back to doing half walking, half running on the treadmill again to change things up. Once we got home, J had his first bubble bath. He loved playing with his dinosaurs in it, splashing around and making bubble beards. After all the fun, it was time for bed.

Picture credit to Elyse Fitzpatrick

My first Tiny Talk Tuesday

(J is 26 months old)


I found another mom's blog at Tot School called Caeden's Corner who has a son J's age. She participates in Tiny Talk Tuesday which is from the Not Before 7 blog. I love this idea of sharing what your kids are saying so I'm joining in today with a couple things to share.

Funky Mood

On Sunday, we were at church and I was holding J while we were talking to someone. He was really wiggly and seemed rambunctious. I couldn't exactly pin down his mood so when this person started laughing when J cupped my face with his hands and was patting my face I said, "J is in a funky mood." Yesterday morning, I was getting J dressed while he laid on the floor. He was waving his legs around and was wiggly and giggly. I said something about him being so wiggly and he says to me "I'm in a funky mood mommy". This was so funny! He has never said this. I had no idea he picked that up from me the night before. Then he was almost dressed and says, "I'm all done funky mood." Cute!

Talking to God

Last week, we were on our way home from the YMCA. I was talking to J about what they are teaching him in church, that we can talk to God anytime or anyplace; that we talk to God in our prayers. So J says "Hi God. I want brown muffins God." (Brown muffins are his favorite chocolate chocolate chip mini muffins). Then we were getting out of the car and he says "I want to give my brown muffin to God." Once outside, he walks around and says "Where are you God? Where did God go?" This was just adorable!

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The day's recap....
Today it was so hard to believe - J slept until 10:00am! I was up a little after 8:30, showered, ate breakfast and he still wasn't up. He didn't go to bed unusually late either. Not sure why? He doesn't seem ill or anything. Today my friend asked if I'd watch her son while she went to the laundromat. J has played with him before and they get along pretty well. It was no problem, I felt it would be good for J, more work on his sharing! She thought she'd be gone just a couple hours but she had trouble with needing to re-do a load so the boys played, ate and played some more for about 4 hours. It looked like a mini-tornado hit since they took out toys that J hadn't played with in ages. Of course, anything Jackson took out to play with J had this renewed interest in it and tried to take everything from him. I was the referee getting J to play nice and let go of (or give back) the toy in question. Although Jackson had a really hard time after Eileen left and cried off and on, I also saw some smiles and giggles. He was ecstatic when his mom came back. J went for his nap and the first thing he said when he got up was, "Where's Jackson?" I told him he went home.

J continues to eat like a little bird. We have this great (because it was my mom's recipe) pork chop dinner and he just picks at it and tells me he wants cereal. I nix his cereal idea but he doesn't end up eating much more. Our after dinner time was a stop at the library. It is so nice how J does so well there allowing me to look for books and things. He went over to the puzzles and he found the animal one. This little African American boy would point to where the piece should go, and J would put it in. J was chattering away as he did the puzzle. They repeated this probably 4 or 5 times until it was time to go. While I checked out, he climbed up on a chair across the way and sat waiting. He didn't want to go to bed either since we had new books and videos. I let him watch a bit of Little Einstein which a friend recommended to me and then it was time for his bed routine.

Wired for relationship

Daddy had the day off today and again J slept late. I got up a little after 9am to shower and daddy was just getting him up when I was done. He was reading his little bible to him, it was so cute watching J sitting on daddy's lap pointing to things or asking questions. He was "reading" the Dr. Suess book called Are You My Mother? I loved watching him and following along as he went through each animal the bird talks to and he would say "Are you my mother, kitty? No! Are you my mother, dog? No! etc. until he made it to the end. This morning it was play, play play. He got out his dinosaurs, flash cards, digger trucks, fire trucks and had things all over the room. Later, we put in a music DVD called "Raffi" who does music for children. A lady at the library who watches kids recommended it. J wanted me to hold him and dance. We had fun listening. Then I found a video on You Tube called "Slippery Fish" that we sing at the place I take him called Pal Zone. We had fun singing that together.

We had lunch and then we all went to the library. After picking up some things and getting my holds, we were looking for daddy. J says "daddy, where are you?" "daddy, come here." Then we found him. We went across town to the library L really likes and J wanted to play in the castle. Once home, it was time for his nap. I can say we've officially moved to one nap a day now. On vacation last week, J took one morning nap (he actually told me he needed it) but otherwise he's okay if I just put him down in the afternoon. Now that he's only doing one a day though, he's sleeping for 2-1/2 to 3 hours. Sometimes I have to wake him up for dinner because he's still sleeping. The downtime is nice in the afternoon, although I do miss that morning nap time!

For my quiet time today, I listened to the sermon that we missed yesterday since we were on the road from Chicago to Madison. It is a new series called "Wired for Relationship". He started out sharing that what we desire are relationships where people really know you. So often we are in places were we are together with people (sometimes many people) yet we are really alone. We don't KNOW those people. Yet we are wired for relationship. Deep relationships are really hard to find. He read from Genesis 2:7 The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. We were created in the image of God, created to reflect his image to the world around us. Then God created a companion for man. He shares how the "perfect" relationship was broken by the choice made to trust in man's wisdom and not God's. As a result, our relationships became distorted. Our priority as Christ followers is to cultivate healthy, growing relationships. They take time, patience and lots of attention. He shared how today's culture with all its technology and ability to text and write others on Facebook has broken down the path to intimate relationships. The question to keep asking ourselves is, "Is the way I'm using it (technology) healthy? Does it foster relationship? We were challenged to open up time to spend with others who inspire us or challenge us to grow in following Christ. We were also asked to look at what things we could change or do to make more time for important relationships. One thing that's opened up in my life is meeting one on one with a fellow Christian friend who wants to create an accountability relationship. Where we can share our struggles, confess, pray for one another and enjoy fellowship. We've met one time so far and we are meeting tomorrow night. I look forward to seeing how this relationship develops.

Tonight, dinner was really low key since it was mom's night out for my Titus group. I took J out of his feeding chair and he's standing up saying "I'm dancing. I'm getting my exercise." This was so cute because I had been telling him how Daddy would be taking him to the Y so he could work out. I was explaining that I wouldn't be there since I would be meeting with the Titus moms. He kept saying he wanted to go with me in my car. I went to kiss him goodbye and he got upset and started crying. I picked him up and brought him out to daddy's car talking all the way and he calmed down. Daddy said he did really well and they played for a bit once they got home. Our mom's night out was at our church building. We had game night. Seven of us ending up showing up so it's a very small turn out for our group which has more than 75 people. Yet it was also nice to just have our small group too. We played Cranium which I hadn't played before. It was pretty fun. I seemed to do well with the spelling questions and when I had to hum a tune for my partner to guess. Our team won. Then we played a round of Rummikub which is a game I played as a kid but had almost no memory of it. I guess it's along the lines of Rummy. This was a fun game too. I'm glad that I went.

photo credit: Blackhawk Church

Finished my Beth Moore study (Jesus the One and Only)

This morning when J got up he was asking to go to Concert on the Square and Pal Zone. I told him we were going to story time at the library. He liked the stories and was a little into the dancing, singing part. He was more focused on trying to eat the craft than making it. We made a port hole out of paper plates and fruit loops. J colored the background then I put the glue on and he stuck the fish and fruit loops on. After that we went to the Y for a good workout. As J was getting up to go he fell and landed on a little girl crawling beneath him. She didn't cry at all and seemed fine but it really upset J. He had this almost crying face and needed reassurance that he didn't hurt her. I wish he was that caring when he hits someone and would realize what he's done. He hasn't gotten that yet. After lunch we did Tot School. He didn't want his nap but told me he wanted a time out. "I want a time out right over there" pointing to his time out spot. I had given him one earlier for acting up while eating. For his nap, he asked for the chalk book (about a girl doing sidewalk chalk pictures) and then I read Sleepy Time Rhyme which is a really cute one. One reviewer called it a love song for your child.

Today we come to the end of the study of Luke, finishing Chapter 24. Beth remarks how we are concluding the study and gives a word of encouragement to continue studying god's word so we develop as a follower of Christ and not a follower of the world. The scene is of Cleopas and friend rushing to tell the apostles they saw Jesus and lo and behold Jesus comes to stand among them. The words he chose to say first are moving. Verse 36: Peace be with you. Beth refers to Ephesians 2:14 For he himself is our peace. Jesus sounds dismayed as he asks, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?" (verse 38). Then he has to point to his scars and invite them to touch to dispel their confusion and disbelief. Beth says, We who believe yet have never seen are blessed because it is faith that pleases him (Heb. 11:6). She says Luke 24:45 records something magnificent "Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures." He says to them that everything in them about him must be fulfilled. What wonderful hope. Like the title of her book (Jesus, the One and Only), as a final thought Beth asks, "Is Jesus your one and only?" Good question!

J woke up from his nap and wanted to read some books. I wasn't ready so he went to his daddy who was in the other room. He kept coming back to get another book and I'd ask if he wanted me to read it and he'd say "No, daddy read it" and trot out of the room. He was excited that I was making pork chops and ate really well even asking for seconds of green beans. We took a walk after dinner to the video store. They have free movies for kids so I found a Veggie Tale and Everyone's Hero. It was still around 80 at 9pm and really muggy. I'm excited that tomorrow we're taking J to the Dane County Fair! They have Safety Day with some real fun stuff lined up I think he'll love.

Tons of fun at concerts at the park (first time down the big slide alone)

We had a huge thunderstorm during the night and at about 3am there was some incredibly loud thunder. I laid awake wondering if J would call out for me and sure enough, I heard him when he did. This is becoming a pattern now that he wakes up during thunderstorms. He only needed a little time of comfort, holding him and rocking in the chair. The thunder died down so I told J there was only "baby thunder" and asked if he was okay and he said yes real quietly so I gently put him back to bed. I got up later than I expected as my little boy alarm clock slept a little past 8. We had to hustle to be ready for our play date at 9:30. We went to my friend Heather's who was hosting Joan and I. When we first got there, J wanted to sit on my lap for a while. Then he joined in the play. They got out books and Wren and J were "reading" sitting next to each other. It was so cute to hear them each reading aloud. I enjoyed watching J "making food". When I asked him what he was making he said "scubiddy", his word for spaghetti. Then he said muffins, cottage cheese. They had snacks outside and then played in the sandbox for a while. Pretty soon it was time to go home for lunch.

I stopped at the library on the way home and J really wanted to go inside and play so we hung out for a while and I picked up some more books. I got him started on his lunch and then Karen our babysitter came and finished up while I went to my bible study. Today we finished our study of Ecclesiastes. We had a time of open sharing about what we had learned and some of the different themes. At the end of Ecclesiastes, the writer encourages us to fear God and keep his commandments. The author breaks down FEAR with what I thought was a great way of looking at what that means.
F = Faith in his existence
E = Experiencing his grace
A = Awe and wonder at his majesty and wisdom
R = Resolve to obey him
That really speaks to me. So today was my last day of "study" at this group and next week we have a pot luck. That will be my final time as I'm going to join the women's bible study "Encounter" at our church. It'll be a good opportunity to meet with women at all different ages and stages which was part of my prayer as I was thinking of moving on from my study. I love my current group, but they are all pretty much the same age and stage, grandmothers. I will stay connected since they have so much wisdom and love, but sense it's time to move to the Encounter group.

When I got back, Karen said he was so hungry wanting everything he saw in the fridge but she waited for me. He was super hungry so I gave him a "second lunch" to tide him over and then he went down for his nap. He usually goes down without protest but today he really didn't want to nap and said "mommy, I want a time out downstairs". I think he was hoping to hang out quietly downstairs for a while instead of a nap. No go.

He woke up and we got ready for meeting Eileen and family at Verona's Concerts at the Park. Our friend Carolina told us about it, she would be doing face painting for the kids. On the way, J was super cranky/whiny and anything that wasn't what he wanted to happen would bring crying. Once we got there we met up with Eileen and after he had food he changed completely. He started a game of peek-a-boo with Jackson by peeking in the window from behind his stroller and giggling and running away as he'd turn around. He kept asking me to follow him but I was staying put so finally he just walks off and I'm watching him get further and further away. Turns out he was heading straight for the park so I joined him and we played for a while. He totally surprised me by going down the slide all by himself on the tall enclosed slide. He was so excited and proud of himself that he kept going up and down a bunch of times and he'd say "Here I come!" and telling complete strangers who would listen "I'm going down the slide". I notice he's been narrating a lot lately. Like when he cries now he's saying "I'm crying mommy" and then he was coughing in the car and says "I'm coughing mommy" and when he dances he loves to say "I'm dancing". He just really loves sharing his excitement. Later he caught up with friend Steffano and the two of them walked all over the park. I kept my eye glued to them and Steffano was like big brother putting his arm around him and guiding him and staying close to him. I really enjoyed our "adult time" as L talked with Chris and I talked with Eileen. We connected with our mutual friend Carolina and ended up being some of the last to leave the park. We liked this so much more than Concerts on the Square downtown. We had ample parking, much less crowded, park equipment for the kids and it was such a nice night. We'll probably go next week too.

Good question: What do you want your legacy to be?

This morning our Titus group had a rain call and we were meeting at the church gym instead of the park since the chance for rain was too great. We were running about 20 minutes late. Got a late start getting up since J didn't wake me like he has been. He was more subdued today in playing. At first he just sat quietly with some toys, then came by and wanted to sit on my lap for a while. Then he got a bit spunkier and tried to take over a couple riding toys. We had a lunch invitation but I really wanted to make it to bible study so I had to pass. I told the bible study group last week that after praying about it, I'm going to be leaving after the Ecclesiastes study and moving to the women's bible study that meets at the church in the fall. The majority of women are moms with young kids but in general there's just a greater variety of age ranges and experience. I love my group now, but everyone is in the grandmother stage of life. I will continue to visit them though. So I got J home in time to make him some lunch and then headed to the study once Dave came.

In our bible study today, we had a chance to share what we had been getting from it. One of the ladies shares that whenever she heard we need to "fear God" she wouldn't understand that. It didn't sound right until she learned through this study that it means to have a reverence for God. "Awed respect" says the dictionary. I believe this grows as we grow closer to him. Our leader Bettye shared something quick about a couple they are mentoring before they marry. The man asked them, "What would you like your legacy to be when you're gone?" Her thought is a quote from John Newton, the man who wrote Amazing Grace. He said, "I am a great sinner, and Christ is a great savior." This is really something good to think about. One of the things I took away from today is how God works in steps. We often want God to fix us or fix something right away, yet God works through step by step ministering to us, often in small ways. We'd miss out on so much of learning who God is if the situation was just fixed right away.

In my devotional time today, I continued in Luke 23; the journey to the cross. Right away my heart is struck. He was beaten so badly, tortured almost to the point of death, more than a human body is supposed to bear. Still, he shows his love, compassion and strength. Beth shares after physically being nailed to the cross and the process of asphyxiation beginning, he manages to talk saying (Luke 23:34) "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Later, Jesus again has the physical power to talk and says to the criminal who asks Jesus to remember him (Luke 23:43) "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." Can hear the love in that statement. Beth says that with every pound of the hammer God was nailing down our redemption, our salvation. Jesus' last words were (Luke 23:46) "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit." He used his last breath to utter the trust upon which his entire life had rested.

J had an almost 3-hour nap this afternoon and was really slow about getting up. We were doing an informal dinner so I wasn't sure what to make him but when I opened the freezer he saw one of his Kid Cuisine's and asked for that. He kept saying "ravi-rolli", "ravi-rolli mommy". I didn't correct him even though it was breaded chicken. I just loved how he said it. Later, I was talking to L about stopping at the library and J says "I want to go to the liberry" over and over. Then he said, "It's closed. (Daddy said, "Closed?") J says, "No. It's open." It's so funny these little conversations we have now. So we stopped at the library where J does really great playing while L and I look around. As we got home J said that he was tired. Since it wasn't too far from his bedtime we started his routine early. He needs to be rested up since we have a big weekend going to Whispering Ridge in Oxford, WI. A little getaway rental home our friends from our old church invited us to for a personal retreat.

The last couple days...lots of play and a new train

(Monday)
J woke up and started playing with his Elmo and Big Bird cars. He had one in each hand and was "driving" them around on the chair.
Here's a snippet of what he was saying while he pushed them:
Elmo go to the Y (YMCA)...Big Bird go to the Y.
Elmo go to Elvers Park...Big Bird go to Elvers Park.
Elmo go to Pal Zone...Big Bird go to Pal Zone.
Elmo go home..Big Bird go home.
(My favorite) Elmo take a sleep...Big Bird take a sleep (turns them upside down on the chair).
These are all places that we go to and it was so cute that he incorporated it into his play time. He's getting more creative like that lately.

I continued in Luke 22 today. The reading was of the Last Supper. Beth (in Jesus, the One and Only) shares that by Jesus' words in Luke 22:15 (I have eagerly desired to share this Passover with you before I suffered), we can see Jesus considered this to be enormously profound. He celebrated this Passover with those closest to him. With the first cup of wine he offered a prayer of sanctification. He introduced the new covenant. "I will redeem you with an outstretched arm." From Exodus 6:6. He commanded them to remember him (and what he has done for us) every time we partake of the bread and the wine.

After dinner I got a baby wipe for J and for some reason he wanted to look at it so I showed him and for the first time I noticed little sheep on the cloth. He says, "What's that?" I said, "Looks like sheep." He says, "David's sheep." So he must have remembered the story of David he's heard from us and at church.

Tonight was our Y night. Before we were leaving J saw a box I had tried to hide that contained a new train for him. A friend from L's work gave it to us. He got really upset when he couldn't play with it and wanted to take it with us. Again it was a good workout. When I was done we watched daddy play basketball for a while. I like that we get done about an hour earlier than we used to. As soon as we got home, I got out J's new train and tried setting up the track. It is missing a piece but we were able to get the train moving at least partway down the track.

(Tuesday)
This ended up being a good catch up day. It was nice to just be at home and not have anything planned. We did groceries in the morning. I thought it would be fun to put J in the shopping cart with car attached. He liked it for a while but was saying all done but then he didn't make a deal of it. While J slept I did some house work, cleaning and laundry (domestic fun). It seemed that I had a dozen little things to do that added up to a lot. It was good to get them done.



I got to use my new dinosaur shape cutter for lunch today. I've been visiting this blog (Crouching Mother, Hidden Toddler) and she has really creative meal ideas for her daughter. That's where I got the inspiration when I saw the shape cutter. It's not that elaborate, but J loved it. As you can see, he grabbed the dinosaur PB&J while I was still taking a picture!

Since J took a 3 hour morning nap we just played all afternoon. We got out the new train again and J enjoyed playing with it. When I looked over, he had figured out how to hook them together end to end. We haven't figured out the track yet though. He went through a lot of books. While he was reading one of them I heard him say, "bye bye fire truck, see you in the morning". We watched a cute sesame street video with Grover and songs about food. There was one really neat one with three little girls singing and clapping their hands while shouting out various vegetables. J really liked this one and asked to watch it over and over. He liked to repeat the veggie names after them. We spent some time in the sandbox too playing with his sand tower wheel toy (you put sand in the top and it filters down and spins the wheel). We both loved rushing to get the sand in so it wouldn't stop spinning. After dinner (which J ate at least some of) we stopped by the library and then for an ice cream treat.

Had a blast swimming

This morning our summer toddler time at the library began. The topic today was the beach. They had a lot of fun books about going to and being at the beach and J had partial interest in listening. He seemed to like following along with the songs and did more than he has in the past like stomping his feet, clapping his hands. There was a mom that I knew from Titus that was there and sat next to us. We also did a craft that was making a sand castle out of construction paper. After the library, we headed to the Y for my 3rd workout of the week. J was asking for ballet and stopped at the ballet room. (After I pick him up from the nursery, we always watch the ballet class while waiting for daddy to be done.) There was no ballet so we continued on to the nursery. It was a good workout.

We ate lunch then J played for a bit. He put on his fire helmet then got out every fire truck he has and lined them all up end to end. Then he drove them around one by one singing and talking about the fire engine. After lunch, we ran some errands; stopping by Walgreens then Toys R Us. J was very tired and started to cry and whine. We were getting a gift for my nephew and decided on these little talking Tonka trucks. There was no way I could hide them in the cart and keep them away from J (especially with his mood). He ended up playing with them the rest of the time and was completely content. It might be hard though when he sees Henry getting them for his birthday.


Tonight I found out the Y was having member appreciation so we went there for hot dogs and chips. Daddy worked out while I stayed with J. He played in their park for a while and then we went to the Family Swim. I could not believe how much fun J had. He didn't balk at all being in the water and right away starts splashing up a storm. It turned into a big splash fest with both of us laughing. Then I held him and walked up and down the pool while he was on his tummy and he paddled with his hands and kicked his feet like real swimming. This was so exciting. J had all this energy when we got home so I let him play for a while before we put him to bed. We're heading down to the Chicago suburbs tomorrow for my nephew's birthday and staying overnight so I won't be posting for a couple days.

Found out I can still golf

(Saturday)
As we've continued on "vacation" it's been hard to keep track of the days. I'm so used to L being at work that when he's home it always feels like the weekend. Our sitter Dave came over to babysit/house sit. J was down for a nap while we were going golfing! Wow, it's been probably close to 3 years since I've played a game of golf. Since L and I married in 2002 we'd been going several times over the summer but being pregnant and then my rough 18 months after golf was on the way back burner. We went with a friend from L's work (Barb) and her boyfriend's son who is 13 and played only a couple times. This helped me to feel more comfortable, having someone who is learning. I realized I am better than I thought. I had a few holes that were really bad (stopped keeping track of my score) but some that went well. I forgot how wonderful it is to be out in the fresh air getting a little exercise and outdoor enjoyment.

We invited Dave out to lunch but he passed, so we went to a late afternoon lunch with J to Culver's and then stopped at the library. J went pretty much straight to the train set. I got some good books on shapes, colors and ABC's. I don't remember exactly when he said it but today was the first time J said "I love you mommy". Oh, does that make my heart melt. It was so special!

We heard about Jazz Fest at Lake Wingra which is nearby so we headed out there a little after 7:30 only to find it was over. Instead, we headed downtown to the Terrace to enjoy the evening.

Some of the highlights were:
Watching the "sax man", a State Street musician playing the saxophone who we stopped and listened to for a bit;

Running into an old friend from church and J playing with his 8 year old son around a water sculpture.

Watching J make his own performance debut on State Street by dancing to Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire played by David, another State Street musician. Several people came up to watch him and really got a kick out of him. Someone even took a picture. Here's a link to the video.

Breakfast on the Farm

What a neat morning! We made a last minute decision last night to skip J's last swimming lesson and instead go to Dane County's Breakfast on the Farm. I think I was more excited about it than J was. I felt like a little kid, as this is something I would have dreamed of going to when I was young. I love living in Wisconsin where the country life is just minutes away from us. This was a huge event where they expected a turnout of close to 4000. J was insisting that we hold him so this got tiresome as we waited in lines for over half an hour. It was a full breakfast of pancakes, eggs, sausage and cheese. After that, we made our way to the ice cream. We visited the cow barn watching them hang out and eat. One of them let us pet it. J was constantly wanting to be held. For that long of a time, it's a little much. But anytime I put him down he'd just whine and cry following me around saying "uppy" with his arms raised. It was hard to resist so I held him. They had a bunch of farm equipment displays open to the kids. J said "ride the orange tractor mommy" so he sat there for a while holding the steering wheel pretending he was driving.


They also had a fire engine so we let him sit up in there too. I put this giant fire helmet on his head and he loved it.


We went through the petting zoo area and J saw his first llama. He was petting it and then hugging it. Before we left, we went to the giant tractor area and J sat up high in a green John Deere that he picked. He didn't want to come down either.

We came home and relaxed while J went down for his nap. Later in the afternoon, we stopped by the library. I found a neat Disney/Pixar Car's book that I got J for $1. He doesn't know much about the movie, he just likes that they're cars. Right away, he wanted to sit down and read it. We stopped at a card store and J got to see a fire engine and ambulance in action. J was so excited to watch but kept asking to go inside the truck. We found out a girl had fainted and that's why they were there. J did a lot of play on his own today. One of the things he enjoyed playing with was a new wooden train from his birthday that we just opened up. It has different colored blocks in various shapes that fit on pegs on the train and he played for a long time taking them off and putting them on in different ways.

I was getting his dinner for him and we were talking about our time at the farm and everything he saw.
J: "Mommy, I wanna see the llama again."
Me: "Yeah, you hugged the llama. Do you remember?"
J: "I wanna see the cows again."
Me: "Yeah, they were big cows."
J: "They were HUGE - huge cows."
We'd stop talking and he'd say "do again it" (meaning do it again) so I'd start reviewing everything we saw and did again. Kids are so funny that way how they just love repetition. I love these little talks.

Later on, we wanted to stop by the home of someone L met where he works (at a high school). He met a student, Kwaku (quay-koo) who came to the US from Ghana many years ago who just graduated. We thought we had the right address but no one was home. J by this time had learned his name and noticed we were heading home. He was saying "no home...I wanna see Kwaku." We wanted to see him too. After getting to bed too late the past two nights, I'm going to shoot for a good night's sleep so it's time to wrap up.

Just playing in the rain

This morning it was just me with J in swimming lessons. Daddy usually just swims around not doing much so he worked out while we played in the water. While getting ready at our place, J seemed excited about it and was saying to daddy "I'm going swimming". He was even a little eager at the start of the lesson going right to the side of the pool and sitting down on the edge by himself. I thought it was a good sign when during the starting "if you're happy & you know it song" he was kicking his feet a bit and splashing his hands in the water. He did end up having a few times where he said "no, I don't want that", "all done swimming" or "no, no" but today was more free flowing and he did some really good kicking, some paddling and enjoyed jumping off the side on the count of three (while I held his hands). I was trying to make up things to make it fun like "be a whale and blow bubbles" and he actually put his mouth in the water a couple times to try or hold his hands saying "kick to mommy". The teacher praised him when he noticed J having some fun with it.

In my devotional time today, I started Luke 13. There was a lot that happened in this chapter. Jesus tells a group that they need to repent. The way I've heard this explained is that repentance is when you have true sorrow over your sin, your wrongdoing and you confess it to God and turn away from doing that in your life. You may have to repent of the same sin over and over, but the key is continuing to turn away from it. On a Sabbath day while Jesus was teaching, he healed a crippled woman who was bound up and bent over in her infirmity. Those opposed to Jesus were indignant because he healed on the Sabbath (when they are not supposed to do any work). He made the point that each of them unties their oxen or donkeys to take them to water and isn't it even more fitting a daughter of Abraham be set free from what bound her? Verse 17: When he said this, all his opponents were humiliated, but the people were delighted with all the wonderful things he was doing. Next, he went through towns and villages teaching and he warns them to make every effort to enter the narrow door. Many will try to enter and not be able to, he says. They won't be recognized and will be told "I don't know you."

Today, a friend from my Titus mom's group asked for a homeschooling website that I mentioned to her in the past. It was a good reminder for me that I've been thinking of doing more in this area. Instead of J just doing random play, I want to do more learning/engaging activities on a regular basis. The website is an extensive site put together by a Christian mom that is teaching her kids at home. Basically, it is really just intentional play activities that are engaging and fun. She has tons of info on how to begin, ideas of what toys and things you can use, etc. One of the best parts is that she has links of all these other moms who are doing Tot School and you can pick the mom's link that matches your child's age and get an idea of what a day's or week's "school" looks like. See link here.

We spent a little time at the library this afternoon. J and two other boys were playing with the Thomas trains and surprisingly they each found a few trains to play with and didn't squabble over who had what. We stopped for a little ice cream treat on the way home. J's graduated to using a booster seat now. It started pouring rain while we were there but with no thunder or lightning. I got a new raincoat and rain boots for J so when we got home we put them on and headed outside to play in the rain and the puddles. Of course, by the time we got out there the rain had pretty much stopped but after trudging through a bunch of puddles it started up again. J wanted to keep his hood on and wanted mommy to wear hers too. I remember how much I loved playing out in the rain in the summertime when I was a kid.

We went out to dinner with a long-time friend of my husband's. His mom is 91 and in a nursing rehab place so met up for dinner and a visit. I got J a high chair since the booths were smallish but he didn't want it so we did get a booster seat. The only problem there is it's harder to keep him in the seat and he tries to stand up. We noticed the tablecloth was paper so we got out his crayons and throughout the meal he colored his way around the table. He really got into it. He also ate really well. I had an Italian combo and he ate the chicken and the noodles but not the lasagna. That's good for him though. After when we went to visit Wilda, he was really shy. She really brightened up seeing him. I had a mommy snafu when noticing J needed a diaper change and realizing I had run out of diapers!!! This had never happened before so I was a bit put off. This ended up being funny. We found an adult diaper (it was hilarious how huge it was) and the nurse gave us scissors and tape so we could rig a small diaper-covering. While I was taking J to go do this, it turns out another nurse heard about it. Low and behold she had her diaper bag in the car with his size diapers! She went out in the rain to get one for us! We were so thankful and J was saying "clean diaper".

The last two nights I've made it to bed at 10:30 and have noticed the difference. Now I'm trying to be strict with myself so I stay close to that. It doesn't take long after J goes to bed for 10:30 to creep up, like now. We're hoping the weather is nice tomorrow and that the rain got it out of its system today. We'll see.

Soaking up the morning sun

This morning after daddy left, J wanted to go play outside. It was already 62 at 9am. J quickly lost interest is chasing balls so I got the idea of getting our camping chairs and setting them outside. I got my coffee and the newspaper and he had his sippy cup and a few books. The two of us sat out there reading until it was time for his morning nap. It was really nice.

Today I started reading Luke 9. Jesus called the twelve together. Verse 1-2: He gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. Up until this time, Jesus had been acting on his own. Now he equipped the disciples. Beth mentions how the disciples had been granted a privilege beyond all others based on what they'd seen. Yet then he also gave them power and authority while he was around to continue teaching them.

At my bible study, we went over chapter 3 in Ecclesiastes. One point made in chapter 3 is that as we grow in our knowledge, we discover that the more we know, the more we realize we do not know. Yet that is the life of faith. To rest in his arms letting the enigmas unfold, trusting in the wisdom of our heavenly father. Another part that stood out to me was in verse 13 it talks about man gaining pleasure from toil. The key, they found, is that it isn't lasting pleasure. The secret is that it is only a vibrant relationship with God that produces lasting enjoyment.

My babysitter showed me a new game she was playing with J while I was gone. She would sit J in the cardboard box and he'd put on his fire helmet. Then she'd pull him around the room on their way to a fire. When she stopped, J would stand up with his pretend hose and pretend to put out the fire. She left and he wanted me to do this a few times. Then we took a little trip to the library and I found a bunch of good books. When he got up from his nap, one of the first things he did was go through the new books and select a few for me to read before dinner.

During dinner, J had a little meltdown while eating spaghetti. He seemed to be getting frustrated by how much he was dropping into his bib. After a few bouts of nonstop crying, I laid him in his crib as a way to calm down. He was fine after about ten minutes and then finished eating. It was so out of the blue. We headed across town to our friend's house to pick up a water cooler for J's birthday party. J wanted to take some of his new books with him. Usually he'll pick one or at the most two. This time he wanted to take four with him and was upset when I told him it was too much. We compromised and I let him take two. He did end up reading both of them in the car. They were outside with the kids so we stayed to play. J loves their daughter who's a little older. She would ride her tricycle and he'd push her. Then she pushed him on a little scooter. He wanted her to chase him and he'd laugh like crazy when she did. For some reason, he wanted to wear her bicycle helmet so he had that on while playing.

One more day to get the final preparations done for J's party. Will have a lot of running around tomorrow and my sister and brother in law are coming up to stay the night. So I probably won't be posting for a few days.

The Blessing of Forgiveness

The day started off with J being in a fussy mood. This carried into his swimming lesson where he just never really let go and had fun. He was stiff and cranky and just didn't enjoy it. Our instructor works well with him though and gives J space when he needs it. He said it's only lesson 3 so I need to give him time and patience with getting used to something so different. So I really need to let go of my expectations and ask God for patience.

I finished Luke 7 today and it was a story that I find very powerful, the woman who anoints Jesus' feet. Luke 7:37-38 When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. The Pharisee seemed put off that Jesus would allow her to touch his feet. This was such an intimate expression of love. Jesus shares a parable that teaches those who have been forgiven much, love much yet those who have been forgiven little, love little. He then in a matter of fact way lists the ways this woman has shown her love for him from the moment she came in and how the Pharisee didn't. Jesus says to her that her sins are forgiven, that her faith has saved her and to go in peace. I know that peace he's talking about. A peace that comes when you can allow your darkest deeds to be forgiven and you let Jesus make you clean. I am so thankful for his mercy in that way.

We hung out at the library for a bit today and returned a bunch and got a bunch of books. I found some good ones for J; a couple dinosaur books, fire bears book, counting book with tractors, dump trucks, etc., a Veggie Tales book and an Elmo alphabet book. He loved knocking over the giant stacking blocks and he loves hanging out there. It was hard to get him to leave though.

Our friends from our life group have been so good to us with watching J when L & I want to go out together. They took him again tonight. L's coworker was having a party and invited us but to be honest I really didn't want to go. I'd know absolutely no one and would rather stay back with our life group friends and J. I didn't want to let L down so I went and we met two couples we hung out with most of the time. That was good. Afterward, J was having so much fun playing with their kids when we came back that he didn't want to leave. We had a really long goodbye. After getting him to bed, I realize I am just exhausted while I am writing this so I think I'll wrap it up.

A marathon of books

At breakfast, I read more from A Place of Quiet Rest. Something she said hit home. "I find it impossible to cultivate an intimate relationship with God or become the woman he wants me to be apart from spending daily time alone with him. It's not possible in human relationships and no more possible in our relationship with God." She likens this to manna the Israelites got in the desert. How just as they relied on this manna daily for their sustenance, we rely on time alone with the Lord for our spiritual nourishment. I think I agree with that. I notice my heart being disconnected and less purposeful those days that I'm not taking that time to be alone with him.

This morning we drove with daddy to work since he can't park down there due to construction. We drove home and stopped at the Sequoia library where we hadn't been in a while. We spent about an hour browsing through books, reading to J, playing with foam letters and numbers. He interacted well with a few of the kids that were there, but with one got a little grabby so I had to referee.

At home, J got a nap while I had some time alone with the Lord. I started Luke 6 today. Jesus speaks of being Lord of the Sabbath. The Pharisees and teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus. People are already starting to come against him. Jesus never allowed himself to be trapped like that. As he healed a man with a shriveled hand, he asked what was lawful on the sabbath, to do good or evil? The Pharisees were furious and couldn't argue with his response. His question made them look foolish. They were discussing what they could do with him while Jesus brought restoration to this man.

Tonight I was to bring a meal to a mom in our group who just had her second child. I am usually very organized but the day got away from me and things were not planned out. To make a long story short, I realized I wouldn't have the time to make a full meal since I had to pick my husband up from work so I picked up something from My Menu which they'd have to microwave. I felt bad about that, but they were very gracious and invited us in. J had a great time pulling all kinds of toys out of their son's toy box. Their son was very generous letting J play with all his toys. It ended up turning out well and we even had time talk for a bit.

Today we were on a book marathon. We read a book when he woke up, books after breakfast, probably 8 books at the library, a book before nap, books after lunch, books after dinner, a book before bed. Whoa! It helped that I got several books from the library on fire fighting, earth movers, construction and dinosaurs. A lot of these we read a couple times through since he just can't get enough of them. I'm so glad he loves to read. It's something L and I also love to do. But I don't think I could go on a reading marathon like this every day!

Our small group got together tonight. We discussed the sermon which was related to Jeremiah 29:7 when the Israelites were exiles in Babylon and God told them to bring peace (shalom) to these people. A main thing we were looking at is participating in God's work of bringing peace to our community. We shared ways we are currently doing that and ways we feel God is calling us to do that. One place we mentioned that we often overlook is bringing shalom into our own home, and into our marriage relationship. An example was "picking our battles" so to speak. Choosing not to make an issue of something and instead being silent about it when we realize it would not bring peace and would not be worth the argument. I need to do more of that. I tend to speak off the trigger and when my anger is triggered, I need to take time to process and not speak.

ABC's and 1-2-3's

Had J's second swimming lesson today. He wasn't as excited today as he was last week. His face seemed to say the water was colder than he liked and he seemed to have more fear this time about getting his face wet. He did like it when they brought out the toys to play with. Daddy was with us this time and they were throwing the ball back and forth. He also liked it when he got to "jump" from the side into my arms. Kept saying, "again?" but then wasn't happy when we'd go back to moving him in different positions. It will probably just take him a while to really get used to it.

In my devotional time today I read further in the book on Ecclesiastes (Is This All There Is). We are all looking for the secret to finding what delights us; the secret to contentment. Solomon, David's son, is the speaker in Ecclesiastes. He finds that there is nothing in and of itself that can bring contentment; that pleasure is fleeting. He asks, "What does pleasure accomplish?" Verse 10: I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work. Yet everything was meaningless, chasing after the wind. There was only momentary enjoyment.

I also started Luke 5. Jesus calls his disciples. What did they do when called? They got up, left everything and followed him. Could I have done that? Really? It is hard to imagine, yet that's what he was calling them to do. Beth shares how amazing it is that the Lord calls mere mortals to join him in his work. Being divine, he had the power to do it all himself, yet he desires that we join him. She says every person who believes has been summoned by Christ, they have been called. She introduces the idea that Jesus is working in every area of our lives. We tend to limit his true influence by thinking he's only working in an area visible to us. She brings up verse 23 in Colossians 3: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. That is something I need to keep in front of me. In all I do, to set my heart on doing it for the Lord. Sometimes in my heart I grumble or complain when I think L isn't doing enough with J or enough at home. It ends up taking away the joy it could give me to picture I'm doing the work I do for the Lord.

It was another cold and rainy day today so after lunch we played inside. We had a lot of fun reading his new book with sound buttons. The book has pictures of things that make sounds (a bird, a cricket, a water faucet) and you press the picture to hear its sound. We must have spent a good half hour reading over this book and pressing all the buttons. Later we spent some time at the library. We found a counting book and J was holding onto my finger and then pointing my finger at the pictures while he counted. It is so cute watching him learn 1 to 10. He found an ABC book that had little windows that opened and closed where different letters with pictures were hiding. These are two things he's focusing a lot on lately.

Our friends were kind enough to watch J so hubby and I could have a nice night out together. Thankfully, J loves playing at their house and was content to be there. We had a nice dinner at an Indian restaurant (Taste of India) and then parked the car near campus and sat and talked. Mostly about things we're focusing on right now in our lives and what the Lord is doing. L will have a couple days off next week so that'll be nice. Some of it he'll spend on his own since that's the way he really recharges his batteries. For some reason, J was fascinated with my eyebrows tonight. As I held him while saying prayers, he kept tracing my eyebrows with his tiny finger. He'd go from one eyebrow to the next and then back again. It was funny! He didn't say anything so for whatever reason they intrigued him tonight. Well, now it's time to go bring in a few plants so they don't get hit by FROST tonight! It is really cold out.